Progression feels kind of unrealistic, you don't have to take to long, but a instant teleport misses out on some cool storybeats, like adaptation to a modern world. Instantly solving money problems also leads to less challenge, and make the story feel floaty. There is a lot of potential here, and despite some of these flaws I still enjoy it.

Instead of having the bracelets be connected to the dungeons, which is weird, make it so the government has legal control over the dungeons, and that people can sneak in or find newly spawned ones. There could also be rewards from the government for reporting these dungeons. All the 'dungeon levels' give you is government permission.

feels like his character completly changed from the begining. Feels a tad bit rushed, really good writing, and the story is pretty good as well. Just could use a little bit of thinking of the characters as people and not just roles to fill.

I just want to be a guy. Epicanthus palpebralis. Ptosis is defined as a droopy upper eyelid. It's a very common condition among Asian individuals, and can be present at birth or acquired later in life due to muscle laxity or certain medical conditions that affect the eyelids and eye muscles. Give water and snacks to people on trail. Find snacks for Delivery Driver. Make Essay on all issues noted such as; the "Large Middle Class". Program Live Cloth Sim. Live Multiplayer House Building System, plants grow on it. I wish there was a animation class in school. Muslim and Christian Religious beliefs how they both are intended for good, its the people that do the bad things. Learn Japanese. Get Voice chat working on Computer. Make Rain World in Vr, Multiplayer. I will find a job I enjoy, and untill then I will study beacuse I enjoy learning, I shall improve myself. This is the gift thy parents he given me. If I want to live long need to make friends. Argument against Job; Most americans can barely survive off of their wage. When hiring people, you hired extremely low-level workers. If I want a chance at a happy life, with a good work-life balance, then a cashier job recommendation will not do. And if the purpose of that cashier job is to get me another low-paying job, than it isn't helpful in the slightest. If I don't want to become part of the 90% either laws will have to change, or I will have to make myself invaluable.

The current yen to usd rate is about 7.36 usd to 1000 yen. 7.50 is the US minimum wage(survival wage) and in all honesty its barely a survival wage. I suppose it depends on where you live though. If you want to have a job that doesn't involve you becoming a cog in a machine and being very underpaid, you have to go to college. But since that wage is so low, it's nigh impossible to afford a good college unless your family went to college. And even if you go to college it isn't a guarantee. In the old age, when a shoemaker made their shoe, the means of creation, the skill, and the shoe where theirs. Until they sold the shoe to others. Now that we sell our labor, not our work, we don't get paid the worth of the labor, we get paid what the boss decides.

Maybe use religious community? I do enjoy large fancy words though.

ecclesiology should be whats here because I think ecclesiastical means to be a clergy or religous persona. Nevermind I just realized lol I was confused by the def on google.

Plus, there aren't enough descriptive words, I'm not saying to cram your story with them, but they really help you feel out the world, and not just jump from; This thing happened, now this thing, etc.

The story has good potential, but their are many spelling errors. Not to mention the sentences that seem to teleport around. "Plz" is not used during actual speech, and is spelled like please. I am enjoying the story, but the spelling errors are a bit much for me. Author, if you would like a proof reader/editor, reply.

I personally think that there are better introductory stories to BL, and this one has a lot of Mary Sue properties. The forums might have some good introductory series.

A lot of spelling errors that take away from the main plot and the characters feel kind of Mary Sue. I'm having trouble understanding what's going on-- which is due, in part, to the unnecessary capitalization of letters. The sentences don't flow properly, Ex(not from text): I would have wished if the thing if I could. Even when the sentences make grammatical sense the words keep looping. Looping words are a sign of a lack of editing or forethought when writing. The quality of the writing varies from paragraph-to-paragraph. The author is also most likely unpaid for their work. I do this not to be mean to the author but to offer a valid criticism of their work. Author there are various materials out there designed for grammar and word-flow practice, I suggest doing a quick google search if you're interested. Thank You- Reader

Fantastic job translator!

"all over the world, just to see, what happens next." the comma just after see is unnecessary.

hi

Hello

Nice

Hello