Blank_Et_Pillow
I am very new to making stories. If I ever do make stories, please read through them before dropping them so quickly, like the term, 'Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover', Nice to meet you though!
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Blank_Et_Pillow6mthCommentedYOU BETTER STOP😱
But the car passed a road bump and shook a bit, which pushed the vibrator deeper inside, "Ah!" Junho instinctively reacted.- Blank_Et_Pillow6mthCommented
I KNEW IT!!🤣
"Why do I have a vibrator in my ass this whole time?" - Blank_Et_Pillow6mthCommented
WHERE!?!?!
Rrrrrrrr… - Blank_Et_Pillow6mthReplied to Jophiel_Doctora
heh heh heh heh
Javier's eyes didn't leave Lyon's body, when Lyon turned back, his eyes blinked and he commented again, "You also have a cute butt under that towel, nice!" - Blank_Et_Pillow6mthCommented
🤡
He only punched Lyon lightly in the stomach to teach him a lesson, but he didn't expect the situation would be this bad. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
'With a horrified face, Leon fell to the ground, having cruel irony take its hold on him. He was the one to give hope to the others when they had lost theirs, but now he was the one to lose hope.' I think this change would be good.
Leon collapsed with a contorted face and a bent leg, a cruel irony that the one who gave hope to others seemed to lose hope himself. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
The image of the building told them that it was fine but the inside contradicted that image. The bottom floor had collapsed due to the earthquakes and the entrance was gone. - I think this change would be good.
Although the building still seemed to be standing, the bottom floor had collapsed due to the earthquakes, and there was no entrance anymore. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
Instead of feeling joy once they reached their goal, their faces held expressions of fear and desperation. - I think this change would be good.
Instead of joy at almost reaching their goal, a grimace of fear and desperation now appeared on their faces. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
As they ran, the distance between their destination and them was narrowing. - I think this change would be good.
They ran on, and the distance between the building and the two boys seemed to be narrowing. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
"We're here. This is the skyscraper we gotta climb if we want to make it out of here alive" - I think this change would be good.
"We're there. That's the skyscraper we have to climb to get out of here alive." - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
Kaiden glanced at Leon as he shouted, - I think this change would be good.
Kaiden shouted to Leon, - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
All they were able to do was hope. Hope that they can escape this hellish situation they are in. - I think this change would be good.
They simply had to hope to somehow escape. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
Kaiden glanced forward and his expression changed many times because due to the wind and rain, they weren't able to see into the distance before them. - I think this change would be good.
Kaiden glanced back again, and his expression changed from one moment to the next. Due to the wind and rain, they could no longer see into the distance. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
The two of them slowed, but from the views of other people, they didn't seem like they slowed down at all. - I think this change would be good.
They ran slower than before, but compared to the desperate and fearful people around them, they appeared much faster. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
Kaiden looked toward Leon as he explained, "The greater the surface area, the greater the resistance to rain and wind." Leon's eyes widened a bit in understanding because compared to a truck, both of them were like sports cars, which in some way gave them an advantage. - I struggled a bit with this one as I read the comment below it, so I thought why not add some dialogue, so you can use this if you want or you can ask me to not add dialogue and just fix it a bit :D
Kaiden explained to Leon that more surface area meant more resistance once it rained and the wind picked up. In a way, this was an advantage for them because compared to a truck, they seemed like sports cars. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
Most people shielded themselves from the heavy rain with their jackets or vests. But Leon and Kaiden did not. - I think this change would be good.
Most people held their jackets or vests in front of them to shield themselves from the rain. But Leon and Kaiden did not. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
It was as if Zeus and Poseidon were having a childish dispute that had no repercussions for them but the people below. - I think this change would be good.
It was as if Zeus and Poseidon were having a childish dispute, but with massive repercussions on the people. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
Out of nowhere, an obsidian-like shower began to pour onto them accompanied by rain. The heavy amounts almost rendered them immobile. - I think this change would be good.
Suddenly, a pitch-black shower accompanied by rain began, and not just lightly, but in pouring amounts that almost rendered them immobile. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
The two of them felt uncomfortable with pushing and shoving people out of the way, but they knew they had no other choice when the city took a deadly turn. - I think this change would be good.
Kaiden, and especially Leon, didn't feel comfortable doing it, but they had no other choice. - Blank_Et_Pillow7mthCommented
By now, it seemed like the entire city was out on the streets. Kaiden and Leon deftly maneuvered through the crowds, even though, morally speaking, it wasn't right to push others aside when they got in the way, but in this situation, it seemed necessary. - I think this change would be good.
By now, it seemed like the entire city was out on the streets. Kaiden and Leon deftly maneuvered through the crowds, even though morally speaking, it wasn't the right way to push others aside when they blocked the way.