i think it’s time for me to drop the story. maybe i’m overreacting or it isn’t my place to say, but i really hate the whole traumatized maiden gets saved but some dude trope, even if lori is strong on her own. i really like stories like this and i love reading about female serial killers because they’re so rare, but dumping a romance plot between two incompatible characters just kind of spoils the whole thing for me. i do hope you’ve enjoyed writing it though, author, if you’re happy with it. taking from the story to focus mainly on romance instead just isn’t for me.

I honestly hope she breaks it off with Jon, not so much for his sake as for her’s. She doesn’t seem to want to be in a relationship at all and is probably asexual. Besides, I really hate the trope of some broken girl having to be fixed up by a big strong man. Even though life isn’t fair, it isn’t fair for her to be in a relationship which she doesn’t want to be in.

If I’m being completely honest, I don’t. She’s obviously not comfortable around him even excluding the fact that she’s manipulating him. I think it’s plenty likely she’s asexual, and I don’t want her to have to be forced into a relationship to stay undercover.

jesus, they’re moving faster then my dad when my mom told him she was pregnant

cheesy. i love it.

i stand by my statement from the previous chapter. i can’t help but love them.

you know, despite the fact these girls are rude, mean, and downright cruel in needless way… i can’t help but like them :)

she’s so cruel and indifferent, a truly selfish person all around. i love her.

i totally forgot about that. thanks for letting me know. sorry if i came accross poorly; i’m enjoying the story quite a lot right now, i hope you’re enjoying writing it.

bloodshed :)

maybe i’m overreacting or being nitpicky, but it makes me really uncomfortable that her brother already had a child. i know the way this world works is married at 15 and start a family at 16, which makes sense as in historical times this was pretty normal, but it would also suggest that is rachel had her baby when she was 16, already underage, she would have been inseminated only a few months after having turned 15. this kind of thinking is really outdated and makes me incredibly uncomfortable. please don’t do this again.

one more quick thing; i appriciate that romance doesn’t seem to be a thing you plan on adding. it’s rare to see that but i like that there isn’t going to be some big buff macho guy who comes in to protect his maiden or whatever. goodnight!

and powerful. something else i think could be done better is her sorrow over losing her family. i actually really like that you included that, and that she didn't just instantly get over it like a lot of other protagonists. but that's the thing. we never actually had to see her deal with the hardships. she said that she cried sometimes and that was the extent of it. no grief and mourning, no mania regarding trying to find a way back to them or shock and disbelief in her situation, no spontaneous bouts of tears brought on from bottling her emotions up and having to somehow explain her tears to her family. she just moves on. i know this criticism might sound harsh, but you asked, so i answered. i hope that you might take some of this into consideration to make an already good story better. but what's most important (as cheesy as it sounds) is that you're having fun writing, creating this story and world, and are shaping it in your image, not letting others pressure you into taking a direction in the story you don't want to go down. goodnight. :)

aww! i was starting to get attached to little ash! i hope she comes back.

I followed my big gay heart and it led me here ;)

Oh, my gay little heart is thrilled with this revelation! I hope they become a couple :) Thanks for the chapter!

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola