Kueni
I'm down to earth in person and want to be a great web novel author while also working very professionally.
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I like this story from the bit I read specifically chapter 2, you have fun little dialogue, and the writing style is something I'm familiar, since I also started that way, I see keep on writing using dialogue if you want, it makes the story very unique, but if you want to change it that's also an option you could take, either way keep writing.
Got to the first chapter, funny thing is I started on the second one first by accident and I like it a lot, and like the second chapter the first chapter has a lot of great detail to the main characters along with a fun atmosphere, the writing style too is of my liking since I as well, started that way.