The way you have written is amazing dude, but I have just a few points:- 1.)The setting of the story so far isn't great and I look forward to seeing it develop; and 2.)I think the story is a little fast paced. Getting the powers straight away in the first chapter was not the best idea. You can see how in Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, the first few chapters are dedicated to the life of the person and how they get the "inkling" of idea that they might have a power. So yeah these were my views. On a writing standpoint, I'm excited to see how the story develops!