"You got it," I said, my voice initially calm, but as I pulled off the ring on my finger, my emotions began to swirl and surge. "...Hehe… Hahahahahaha! This is exhilarating—finally letting all these dark thoughts out after holding them in for so long! My life is set in stone, and I can't even change it. Even if I delude myself into thinking I have free will, it will never be possible due to the Akasha records! Then there's that infuriating Zelretch, forcing me to go along with his plan to avoid dying from ORT in the future! Then there's the Holy Grail War, where I have to deal with a suicidal idiot, a self-sacrificing king, a stubborn girl who's too proud for her own good, a counter guardian hellbent on killing that suicidal idiot, a girl who could become an avatar for an evil god if she isn't given enough attention, a homunculus seeking revenge against the suicidal idiot using her demigod pet, a priest who wants to watch the world burn, a demi-god king who sees humanity as nothing more than pests, a witch who will do anything for a second chance at life, and an evil God waiting to be born in the world to burn all of humanity! This life is a nightmarish hellscape, and it's far from funny! The only reason I'm even doing all this is because I'm selfish as hell! Why do I want to save Sakura? While I care about her, I also want the sexy Tohsaka sisters for myself! Why am I helping these naive idealists in this world? While I admire their resolve, I also want to use them later in the fight against ORT! And then there's the fact that I envy everything as far as the eye can see! I envy those oblivious protagonists who have everything go their way and get their happy endings! I envy their incredible powers that let them do as they please! I envy every single thing in this world! Hahahahahaha!" By this point, tears were streaming down my face, but the enormous smile wouldn't leave my face either. The more I spoke, letting these pent-up emotions run wild, I felt like I was finally being true to myself for the first time. "I'm a normal guy! I'm not some incredibly broken character with a traumatic backstory; I'm just a selfish bastard in every way!"
Shinji Ascent
Anime & Comics · Neo_Acer
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