Especially in the beginning of the novella, let's say the first 50-60 chapters, the writing style was very dry, you could tell that you had no experience. I even wondered if it wasn't generated by artificial intelligence. After that, an undertone began to appear in your writing. But you keep using the main character's name every other sentence...which is very annoying. Use synonyms, speak for him and not in the 3rd person.. there are many options to avoid this annoying repetition. Regarding your writing, in general I like such stories and therefore notice quite a few cons that you could emphasize. The battles are very lean, and the character development is fast-paced. The same goes for the dialogues, which are trite and emotionless…There are also a lot of actions, events that have no logic... such as the watcher, which supposedly cannot be interfered with, and at the beginning it was shown how the contracts under his supervision were secure, but then it turned out that it was not so... which completely contradicts the concept, making this belief absolutely nonsensical. Chapter 291 Revealing The Truth, you say how he wanted to share the responsibility and that's why he trusts gamers he hasn't even seen live. You absolutely trashed your good idea with your organization, you could easily have built it based on mafia organizations or terrorist organizations. Not to mention that there are other secret organizations where they are in different circles. The more you reveal yourself to some, the more vulnerable you become...In order not to ramble on, I'll give some examples where you can see combat mechanics, dialogue, and the ability to keep the reader in suspense. For example Reverend Insanity and Reincarnation Of The Strongest Sword God. Of course even they are only a good attempt compared to true masters of fantasy, such as Steven Erickson or George Martin.

The idea is good, I also like alchemist novels, but the execution is weak, basic and irritating. There are constant contradictions, the behavior of the main character shows serious illogicalities, and secondary and tertiary characters are given more attention than necessary. The crystal chest that he opens in the first chapters is explained at length why he does it. A few chapters later, he finds a new such chest and radically changes his position, and the justification for doing so is brief, and the reason contradicts what was written about the first one. Similar actions are also noticeable in his actions towards his acquaintances. Chapters with minor characters I skip directly as they insult my intelligence.

I like the story, but the action is too slow. A typical case is a one-day test in the novel, but the author describes it in more than 40 chapters. Slow character development, unnecessary reflection and repetition.

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola