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Tim_Livingston

Tim_Livingston

Lv1
2021-07-07 JoinedGlobal
3.6h

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4
  • Tim_Livingston
    Tim_Livingston2yr
    Commented

    "aren't the real killers..." instead of "are the real killers..."

    ''No, sir. Absolutely not. However, I still have no idea what you want from me. Also, I am tired and injured, which does not put us in very equal positions in the cooperation you want. In addition to that, there is nothing but your words that prove who you are. How do I know if you are the real killers trying to get information about the case?'' Jason said in the same breath and he couldn't help taking a defensive position while looking into Rex's getting thinner and thinner pupils.
    After 2nd Adam
    Fantasy · Lolth
    detail
  • Tim_Livingston
    Tim_Livingston2yr
    Commented

    "could stand" would be better than "can stand"

    ''So recent murder victims were semi lions,'' said Jason when he can stand again without help, ''But why didn't you identify them when the police advertise their faces?''
    After 2nd Adam
    Fantasy · Lolth
    detail
  • Tim_Livingston
    Tim_Livingston2yr
    Commented

    "You do not need to pretend" would be better than "You do not need to be pretending".

    "We can hear your heartbeat and your breath, Jason. You do not need to be pretending." The woman who spoke about SCO before said. Jason heard footsteps. He kept waiting without moving. Jason could smell the leather of her boots. The woman kicked Jason in his chest.
    After 2nd Adam
    Fantasy · Lolth
    detail
  • Tim_Livingston
    Tim_Livingston2yr
    Commented

    I am enjoying the plot. I Really like Sora’s character. My only complaint, such as it is, is in reference to grammer, and vocabulary. Aside from that, you are a gifted storyteller.

    Ch 87 Announcement
    How to be a Succubus
    Games · Lolth
    detail