I think this novel has great potential. The concept is really good! There are parts of the writing that feels a little awkward to me because of some switching between formal and informal. But overall, the writing is great. I really like the characterizations. Though the book does read a bit like a script, it has elements of novel and the details added in definitely sell it beyond a script and as a book.

Had a moment where I thought the CFO or the office workers were part of the Veil... guess they're just mean lol

I like that you showed the repetition of events instead of just saying that the same outcomes keep happening. I think the only thing that I didn't like is the main character's "woe is me" thinking/attitude. If she's been through so much and gotten as far as she has, then I think she'd be stronger and maybe more resilient. But overall, great chapter. And I love that we get a glimpse of the dragon too!