I quite literally had to look away from the cringe... Jesus was it strong

Most original fanfic of PJO I've seen, you go bro. It's pretty good, great story telling and everything, grammar is up high like proffesional, and the character is great, I have my theories about him how ever, but I'll wait till they prove trhough, he's a five star.

Love it so far, and don't have any issue, seems pretty original too, the only issue is that there is a chance you abondon it, and you're a very talented writer with great ideas so i hope not. In the end, 5 stars for you

There was supposed to be a soace between the man and woman dialogue but I guess the review didn't enter it, but I hope you got what I meant

I'ma do you a favor mate, alright? Now don't take offence because all I'm about to say will help you. 1, Dialogue, when a character speaks, it requires two things, 1, it's closed quotations, examples "Hi, you look nice," said a man. The man said, "Hey, you look nice." "Hey you look nice." 2, it's own paragraph, each character speaking owns it's own paragraph, so one chracter can have two soeaking setences in one because thats their paragraph, but another character can't share that paragraph, example, "Hey man, you look good," the man said, "What perfume did you put on." "Thank you, I put on yada yada," Said the woman."Oh that's nice."This is something you should really know because any book and fic contains these examples.Another thing to help you, time period dialect. If you're character is in a modern day setting, they won't call their mother, mother, they'll call her, mom, but if they're in an ancient setting or an older setting like ww2 era, than instead of mom, it would be mother.Now since im going by the top of the dome, thats all I can think of. You can go on reddit and quora for more, but a recommendation is to use grammarly for grammar mistakes and the like. Another recommendation is to read heavily followed fics over on fanfictions of your choice because they're famous for reason, i.e, most definitely for their grammar and their storytelling. Anyway good day to you.

Love it so far. The way they speak matches the era, the information, the spacing, the proper diaologue format, etc. This is definitely up there. I do have a request though for the author, and its not outlandish so I don't see how it could be an issue. Write it so the gods are truly portrayed as they were in the mythos, so the examples being the r*pe of medusa, the curse of heracles, the unfair beating and punishment of arachne, the r*pe of callisto and artemis unfairly punishing her and hunting her down, etc and etc to make it more realistic and brutal. Another request is to make Ares the honorable god that he really actually is instead of how modern media portrays him, because really, its only him, hestia and hades(depending on which mythos you believe on how the ordeal of him and Persephone went down) that are truly the good gods of olympus that are olympians (Zeus: R*pist Possidon:R*pist Hades: Depended R*pist Hera:Serial Murderer Artemis: Serial Murderer Aphoridte: Serial Murderer Dionyusus: R*pist Hermes: R*pist OG Apollo: R*pist

Im reading more, stop "I am," and do ""I'm"

Legit don't know if you fixed eventually, but stop with "it is not" or "do not" or "will not" use "isn't", "don't" "won't" makes it more realistic because every american speaks with these and its pet peeve of mine when daiolgue or monologues are said in ways that dont match the era the story is set in. Like you're typing as if we were in the 1800 with this shit. Other than that you're fine really.

He's in a coma. Neve4 diss Person 2

Honestly, haven't read such fine literature in a while, the Grammar, the plot, the way characters speak, "Father" instead of "Dad", perfection. You see this reviee, give it a read, because if you like bottom to top type stories, this a good go to. And if you like CK3 then this is kind of the same with building up your house and stuff.

The important bit though is that, whatever option he does, wheter siphon or moonlight ring, in the end he should be pack leader

Dude honestly sticl to one thing, becaude if you multitask then you'll eventually not want to wtite anymore

It's actually decent, but a few tips to help you, first, as you are doing a SI, the one rule you must follpw, is to never, ever, make your oc tell their secret of being a reincarnator. That's a huge red flag, second don't do Diologue like this. Nathan: something something. Do it like, Nathan said, "Yada yada" or something similair but never like if it were a script instead of a story. And finally, when you write the character, try to not only write them as the age they are when you write them, but also try to write them as hoe they acted in the show. But overall I like it so far.

It's good so far, but it's just the beginning of it all. Hope you don't abandon

This stuff is lit, Jesus, the writing, the grammar, the punctuation, the small little jokes, the way info is delivered. Author I will hunt you down if you dare to not complete this!!! Though on the real, you are talented, don't let anybody tell you otherwise., good day.

Enjoyed it so far, minor grammar issues but you seem to be learning so it really doesn't matter, all I ask is that you pace yourself, because I feel like you don't want to abandon this story, so take your time, and write ahead so that you already have chapters and all you need to do is post one and not write the same day, giving yourself a break.

I Like it, pretty sick, the only issue is the incorrect use of present and past tenses, but other than that I don't see a problem. To those wanting to see if it's worth a read, it should be, I like it so far, and I can tell the author is trying so give them a break if their writing doesn't reach your expectations. Give them proper critisicm and hate

Shhhhhh

like the story so far, only got to the second chap but got nothing wrong to say about it, grammar and form of it is good. Can't wait to see what's next.

Honestly dude, I would say Julia as a single pairing, only because it has never been done before and you can be the first one, and because of how you're story is based on a darkish spiderman, Julia with her black and white suit fits him, as well as starting MC's own Family, (Bat Family, Super Family, Flash Family, etc) The Spider Family.