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_Frost_

_Frost_

Lv13
2021-03-21 JoinedGlobal
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Writing

570.1h

of reading

266

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11

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639
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Replied to Grispera

    Are you using an app like grammary? Copy a draft of your writings to that, then sort though the errors it prompts you with. That should solve like 80% of the issues your chapters are having.

    Ch 1 A Desperate Situation
    altalt
    Shards of the Broken Heart
    Fantasy ¡ Grispera
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Commented

    This really needs an edit. The grammar and choice of words are poor in many of the sentences; an example is when mentioning the events of using a "chopper" to get to a "port." Grammar aside, helicopter and harbor for the choice words would fit better when describing events occurring instead of slang words like chopper. First impressions are important.

    Ch 1 A Desperate Situation
    altalt
    Shards of the Broken Heart
    Fantasy ¡ Grispera
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Replied to NatePrince

    something else do all wraiths have this system and access to this store?

    [You lack any actual metabolism that is required to clot the wound and start a slow 'natural' healing. You either use the health pack or keep the Injury as it is. Bleeding and leaking your Eldritch essence.]
    altalt
    Debauchery of a Soul-Eating Wraith
    Fantasy ¡ NatePrince
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Replied to

    still think because it's a form of energy and seems to be maybe related to his soul there should be a way to prevent excess loss of that energy. That ultimately its a matter of control of that energy which he currently doesn't possess. These packs would be best suited in emergency cases to recover what was lost. which could affect his strength for having that portion of energy missing.

    [You lack any actual metabolism that is required to clot the wound and start a slow 'natural' healing. You either use the health pack or keep the Injury as it is. Bleeding and leaking your Eldritch essence.]
    altalt
    Debauchery of a Soul-Eating Wraith
    Fantasy ¡ NatePrince
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Commented

    should of gone by stage he's in. 3rd order should need a 3rd order med pack and so on. As he gets stronger would imagine he would be made up of a denser or higher quality eldritch energy. Meaning what would be needed to heal him would be more demanding as he gets stronger. Who knows maybe once he hits the 4th order the cost will increase just something to think about.

    1000 for an injury that's bleeding? That's a ripoff!'
    altalt
    Debauchery of a Soul-Eating Wraith
    Fantasy ¡ NatePrince
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Replied to Sen_Ritsu

    not going to lie this could pass for a short haired girl in an anime lol, very feminine.

    Everyone in the room, everyone besides the rejoicing mother still embracing her son, saw as Evian's brown hair began to change to grey.
    altalt
    Debauchery of a Soul-Eating Wraith
    Fantasy ¡ NatePrince
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Commented
    [Flashback]
    altalt
    Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!
    Eastern ¡ Odayaka
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Commented

    so multiple reincanations in the same body, young master trope, child hood friend being guided by a spirit in her head, someone else having a legendary sword, useless elders with a father that abandoned his family. Forced engagement that causes issues. Did I miss anything like come on this is just a gag at this point.

    Long Tian came across this in his previous life and decided to perform it to perfection when he did not get any techniques from the family to practice.
    altalt
    Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!
    Eastern ¡ Odayaka
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Commented

    appreciate the thought being put into the plot curious to see if these events will have a effect on Noah's character. Be a waste to put this effort into a flashback for a dead character.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!
    Eastern ¡ Odayaka
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Commented

    yup hope hope this is the last of this cliche but some how I doubt it.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!
    Eastern ¡ Odayaka
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Commented

    comment like this could make you think long tian is reincarted.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!
    Eastern ¡ Odayaka
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Commented

    sure that's a funny sight if him being lean and tone is rare amongst his piers are the rest just 4'8-4'10 muscle heads or skin and bones? 🤣 Author image you creating with these younglings is odd. Having a lean athletic build isn't odd to see amongst 14 years old now let alone a cultivation world.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!
    Eastern ¡ Odayaka
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Commented

    14 and 5 feet? Hes even considered to be on the tall side for his age. That's wild cultivators are little people in this novel.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!
    Eastern ¡ Odayaka
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Commented

    respect different approach can appreciate it

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!
    Eastern ¡ Odayaka
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Replied to Odayaka

    characters in the novel aren't just going to he idiots are they? the cliche that Chinese writers created that made all elders idiots and young masters just around to be face slapped is horrible writing.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Getting a Sugar Mommy in Cultivation World!!
    Eastern ¡ Odayaka
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Commented

    surprised you decided to have 0 development on the mentality of the Mc. Just went from one of the worst betrayals you could imagine to what we are reading now. Can see the maid being a soft spot for the Mc for when it came down to seeing her again. But the entire interaction so far with demon/dragon girl also? It's like influence from his own life experiences isn't reflected at in what we are reading. From a extremely naive Mc that was horribly betrayed by his wife and suppose friend that even extended to the general public. To a Mc that's very forward in there emotions as if there's 0 trauma. Why even have the events of the first chapter occur if it wasn't to be a catalyst for personality development? Would expect to see more rage and distrust from the Mc, can already predict he will see those 2 characters and there be a dialog about how angry he is with them but that being it. Honestly hope I'm wrong but the character interactions just don't see to fit at all from the setting you created.

    "Xavida? Did she do something wrong, or are you just jealous of her?"
    altalt
    Devouring Monarch: Rebirth of the Profane Phoenix
    Fantasy ¡ TheDragonSlayer
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Commented

    this is just weird.

    "First, I can help you understand the large monolith that carries your name, and all the language written on the slab will be given to you mentally. Ah..."
    altalt
    Devouring Monarch: Rebirth of the Profane Phoenix
    Fantasy ¡ TheDragonSlayer
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_1mth
    Replied to Resurgent

    when can we expect updates to start again?

    His fingers gently brushed a stray strand of her ruby-red hair from her face, and before he knew it, he was leaning in, capturing her rosy lips in a searing kiss.
    altalt
    The Damned Demon
    Fantasy ¡ Resurgent
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_2mth
    Commented

    interesting usage of smoke, Question I have is he able to manipulate smoke to become any variable of smoke that exist or is he using a special blend of tobacco to create a desired form of smoke? If so Cigars with different blends prepared could be a interesting concept.

    Ch 111 Alex vs Talia (1)
    altalt
    Reincarnated as a step-dad in a fantasy world
    Fantasy ¡ isli
    detail
  • _Frost_
    _Frost_2mth
    Commented

    Don't think this should be here.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Reincarnated as a step-dad in a fantasy world
    Fantasy ¡ isli
    detail