interesting story. While I was reading, I felt like I had entered the world of the "Halo" series. Good start, although quite complicated. I hope that in the next chapter or in other chapters, you will add an unexpected scene, or a scene that can make readers curious. Sometimes, sci-fi has the impression of a quite complicated mystery. Depends on the writing.

interesting intro. This is good because it makes me curious.

Interesting story. The plot is interesting. The storyline is enough to make me curious. However, I think it's only chapter 6 that I think is quite mindblowing.As long as it can create an unexpected scene and make the reader curious, I think that's enough.good job, author!!

i like this chapter

An interesting start and made me curious.

Interesting story. Even though I don't understand genres like systems or whatever they are called... I can understand the storyline of each chapter.Slow but sure.. it really nice and feels like follow the thread flow. Good job, author!

I think I've heard the name (kopi luwak) in the English version. But I don't think I need to discuss that. 🤭

Interesting story. It has several different elements and elements so that it is able to create a complicated storyline but can make readers feel curious. Maybe that's what I'm feeling right now. Even though the beginning of the chapter confused me, the longer I read, the more curious it made me.good job, authors..

So far... the story is quite interesting. Although the writing concept is quite confusing because several chapters that show dialogue and lines seem a little messy. Apart from that, it's been good. In fact, I also found the impression of the storyline which felt like a hidden mystery. Keep practicing, author!

Slight error. but the story can still be enjoyed..

interesting story.Even though it takes more practice to adjust the dialogue and the aftermath, the storyline is good and made me curious. 😊✨️

Don't forget to pause or separate the dialogue before going to the zane part. However, maybe it's not necessary because it's the beginning of the chapter.

Try changing the period to a comma from the words "Well, nowadays"

Try to provide enter after the dialogue. So that the initial self-introduction doesn't sound quite strange. Because if it's like this, it will be thought that someone outside started the story. not focus on the main character.

Interesting story. Even though there are several grammars that need to be corrected, I can understand the flow of the story that was written.Keep practicing and also keep the flow of the story you wrote so it won't just disappear.Good luck, author.

Even though there is a slight problem with the grammar, the situation written is quite complicated.

You forgot to separate paragraphs and dialogue. And remember, question marks and exclamation marks are important in writing dialogue.

interesting story.so far, this story is good.The synopsis is also good. The storyline also fits the genre written.I can conclude that this story has a prominent genre... action, strategy, and mystery.it would be great if the next chapter or maybe something else could give unexpected surprises in the chapter or story line.good luck, author.

interesting.the synopsis is pretty good.Each chapter has a different story line, but is able to keep the story in one direction (that's mean, it doesn't seem messy.)a little advice from me. Practice how to write dialogue that is short, but easy to understand.in chapter 1 it was so good. but in other chapters, it seems messy.there is no need to write in detail about the situation of the dialogue conveyed in the story. (I used to be like that too, so I understand that it won't be easy.)when you know about it, the rest you will understand. keep trying. slow but sure.

interesting story.Each chapter has a storyline that intrigues me. Sometimes I accidentally find unexpected scenes. Unfortunately, I forgot... because I was too focused.good job, author..