Flysideways
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Flysideways1yrCommented'Is this skill too common?' Kyle thought and looked at his own shadow, the guy was goind to pop out any secound.- Flysideways1yrReplied to sahejRocks
It's a silly little comment but it makes things consistent. Hope it helps! Great work on this story. Keep up the good work! [img=recommend]
His hand movement started again yet this time they were different, the movements became more complex and fast, and when the dirt came out, it formed 2 Earth spears in a second. Kyle was controlling both the spear with one hand each. It was an upgrade since the intensive use and level-ups. - Flysideways1yrCommented
Writing rule of thumb: if a number is less than ten you spell it out and if a number is over ten you put the number numerically. Two not 2 12 instead of 12 123 instead of one hundred and twenty three
His hand movement started again yet this time they were different, the movements became more complex and fast, and when the dirt came out, it formed 2 Earth spears in a second. Kyle was controlling both the spear with one hand each. It was an upgrade since the intensive use and level-ups. - Flysideways1yrCommented- Builder Minion x1
- Flysideways1yrCommented
FREE RESOURCES!
It was a dead person. - Flysideways1yrCommentedThen suddenly, I heard the bloodcurdling scream of someone in the distance.
- Flysideways1yrCommentedGirls would often find themselves looking at him like he was a celebrity entering the school. For some reason, his light brown hair, fair build and deep, sapphire-blue eyes were a magnet to any teenage girl nearby.
- Flysideways1yrCommented
A foot?! How big is it's head?!
The sword of misery hit the skull of the monster, but only went in a foot inside, before it stopped, stuck. - Flysideways1yrCommented
I think a scalp tingling feeling is the least of your worries if your heart is pierced by an arrow...
The feeling of an arrow piercing through the heart made one's scalp tingle. - Flysideways1yrPosted
240 chapters in and still happy. The editing quality has stayed steadily good with only the odd mistake here and there. The characters are showing a bit less growth than I expected in the beginning but that's my only critique. The kingdom building is steady and well earned. Also the story development is solid with multiple goals and motivations moving along simultaneously.
- Flysideways1yrPosted
Overall good potential with poor presentation. The story would be much better with solid editing. The translation (presumably) needs work. A lot of the English feels clunky and flows poorly but it is still reasonably easy to read. Good idea and spin on kingdom building, despite the typical story arc. Some fresh mechanics. The characters have potential to grow.
- Flysideways1yrCommentedAll this because the capital couldn't destroy the town they wanted to and it felt like they took it personally. Yet, no one could question them, it was a dictatorship in a world where magic now exists! Who would be dumb enough to question someone powerful enough to destroy towns like Wellspring on a whim?
- Flysideways1yrCommented"That is interesting. Why is the door black? I thought that the gods of righteousness despised the darkness. And the church that I just went through, it looked normal, didn't it?" Jake wondered as he asked himself.
- Flysideways1yrCommented"That… it is a long story. I think it is better that it is left untouched." She shook her head.
- Flysideways1yrCommentedJake quickly nodded as he put the box safely near his pouch, one that every single outfit was going to have.
- Flysideways1yrCommented
A smart decision from a main character. That's refreshing!
"Nah, Can't risk it, what if that bitch has a different but good skill like mine? Uhah, nope." Kyle had learned a good lesson about being overconfident. He had to control it properly, knowing how easy it was to become arrogant with just a bit of power up.