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albakata

albakata

Lv10

Pre-law. Future lawyer. Discord server: https://discord.gg/e2FvZA4jwc

2021-01-31 JoinedPhilippines
-d

Writing

0.5h

of reading

33

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4

Moments

19
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to d_elfe

    It’s be a mix of ointments, pills, potions, and plant-based bandages!

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to d_elfe

    True! The twins get violent whenever they’re in a battle, especially if it’s against each other

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to d_elfe

    Hmm let’s see dun dun dunnn

    But I guess I'll be sad about all of the things I could've done in my old world—like ride a rollercoaster, eat ice cream with friends, fall in love with a classmate, and all those typical stuff. There are still things from my old world that aren't present here.
    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to d_elfe

    Hehe glad you liked it

    "Well, when I checked my aptitude for fire the other day, it wasn't like this. The only fire I could procure was something similar to a match fire. It even took me 2 hours to let my power flow through it. But with you around, I feel like doing these kinds of things became much easier." I tried to clear up things for Aki.
    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to d_elfe

    Yeah!!

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to Kotasume

    She said:

    My sister rolled her eyes. "Listen, Aki. I did worry about us but we can't do anything significant here. Trust me, I tried to search for ways to go back home—I found none. We're forced to stay in this world until we find another way."
    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to Kotasume

    I know!! HAHAHA the gore and everything *chef’s kiss* lol jk

    The moment his hand moved, the bones in Akari and I's knees got instantly dislocated. Both of us fell on the ground screaming with tears flowing down our eyes.
    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to d_elfe

    True!! In my story, I’m still trying to incorporate some real life events though of course the context will be tweaked to fit the novel’s narrative and add more sensitivity to how I write it

    Ch 8 Chapter 8: Hello, Ceravis
    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to d_elfe

    Good points! More information about this will be placed in future chapters. As of now, it’s mostly foreshadowing hehe

    Ch 1 Chapter 1: Destiny's Will
    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to Boilala

    Thank you!! Will try to keep updating more chapters. Just tending to a personal matter at the moment 😅

    Ch 8 Chapter 8: Hello, Ceravis
    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Posted

    Good job in writing the character design and their respective backgrounds to act as a foundation of the plot. Looking forward to how the characters will grow and interact with each other more! Keep doing your best!!

    altalt
    Phoenix: Reborn From The Flames
    Urban · Shining_Star
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Posted

    Good writing technique. Not so sure about the R-18 scenes since I’m not a fan of it. But if you are interested in harem and the like, then this book is for you!

    altalt
    Agdhshsbhshsjd
    Fantasy · voidheart
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Posted

    Really love everything about this! First chapter in and I’m already blown away—the descriptions, character thoughts, and world building. It’s as if I was also present in that world. Truly a magnificent way of writing. Keep it up and continue to do your best!

    altalt
    God's gift
    Urban · d'elfe
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Posted

    Hello! Just read a few chapters of your novel. Here are my comments so far: 1. I like how you wrote the story. It was easily understandable and not too hard to digest. I could easily imagine the setting that the MC was in. There wasn’t much word vomit so the info placed were all useful. 2. Loved the concepts presented in the story. The Laitions and Arionss were new to me so I liked that it was mentioned. You can explain their characteristics too, along with the characters the MC interacted with, to make it more interesting. 3. Chapter upload is stable which is good. Keep up the good work! 4. There was an abrupt change in the MC’s emotions. Make it seem like the MC was more in a frantic or in denial state before he accepts what happened to him and actually strives to do better. 5. The way the system was described was a bit overwhelming or confusing for me. Maybe the format could still be improved and some aspects could be further explained. 6. There also some grammatical errors and the syntax could still be improved (try using Grammarly. That helped me a lot). But this doesn’t take away from the main content. The story could still be understood and enjoyed properly. 7. Work on the dialogues more. It would be nice if you also placed who spoke. Ex: “Hello leader!” Ling Yu happily said as she waved her hands in my direction. Hope this helped you with your novel! Continue to write more and do your best!

    altalt
    Stellar God Of Machinary
    Sci-fi · Boilala
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to Darkswan

    I just made a Discord server for my work. I’ll be sending updates there about Panolethria. You can also interact and promote your own work in some of the channels there. If you’re interested to join, here’s the link: https://discord.gg/e2FvZA4jwc Everyone is welcome there!

    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to Boilala

    I just made a Discord server for my work. I’ll be sending updates there about Panolethria. You can also interact and promote your own work in some of the channels there. If you’re interested to join, here’s the link: https://discord.gg/e2FvZA4jwc Everyone is welcome there!

    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to Boilala

    Sure! I will read your story in my spare time and try to give comments!

    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to Darkswan

    OMGG!! Thank you so much for reading the story! I will continue making more quality chapters for you guys!

    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail
  • albakata
    albakata3yr
    Replied to Boilala

    AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! I really appreciate it! Will take everything into consideration and make the new world more elaborate <3

    altalt
    Panolethria: Saving the Multiverse
    Fantasy · albakata
    detail