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Mayhem_Wolf

Mayhem_Wolf

Lv1

hi. your own neighborhood author here :D

2021-01-19 JoinedIndia
0.6h

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12
  • Mayhem_Wolf
    Mayhem_Wolf2yr
    Posted

    The story is quite complex and makes the environment tense. The development is quite good. writing quality is top-notch, but I think it's a bit too overly complexified which actually makes it a bit tough to read. the only reason I took 0.2 stars away is that. but it's not bad, to be honest, it's just a bit too complex. Potential novel here.[img=coins]

    altalt
    Secret Plots
    Urban · AngelAnusha
    detail
  • Mayhem_Wolf
    Mayhem_Wolf2yr
    Posted

    That was a simple, subtle but very interesting piece of work. looking forward to reading more. I loved the simple language use which still had the capacity to lure me in.

    altalt
    I moved back to country side
    Realistic · Anna_07
    detail
  • Mayhem_Wolf
    Mayhem_Wolf2yr
    Commented

    The conflict with life is nicely portrayed. It was just as I liked it and urges me to continue with this. Definitely recommended

    Ch 1 The old Grandpa
    altalt
    I moved back to country side
    Realistic · Anna_07
    detail
  • Mayhem_Wolf
    Mayhem_Wolf2yr
    Commented

    Life doesn't care about ambitions much. DEEP

    "Perhaps you are moving?" The grandpa beside him asked him. "Huh?" Evan was dumbfounded. "Oh... Yea. I am going back to my original hometown." He said when he gains his consciousness. "I see. You seem like an ambitious man, why do you want to move there?" At first, Evan wanted to tell this old Granpa to stop being noisy. But he wanted to be polite so, he just answered. "Well, Life doesn't care about ambitions much." The train stops. The grand-pa stands up and keeps an old journal to the boy in front of him.
    altalt
    I moved back to country side
    Realistic · Anna_07
    detail
  • Mayhem_Wolf
    Mayhem_Wolf2yr
    Commented

    That's a good sentence, I liked that

    But, life doesn't let you have your way always. So, He picks his baggage up and leaves for the countryside. He leaves his ambitions and glory behind and walks ahead towards a path no one knows. He is walking on the road no one has ever heard of, and Evan himself doesn't know where he is heading ahead. As he sat down on his seat, he asks himself, "What are you going to do?" but no answer came. He is now missing inside his thoughts.
    altalt
    I moved back to country side
    Realistic · Anna_07
    detail
  • Mayhem_Wolf
    Mayhem_Wolf2yr
    Posted

    Pretty good but must say needs some work on English A pretty determined author, but she does lack some skills, which with a bit of tutoring can be made good. The plot is pretty simple yet good. A bit more work on the personalities of characters would be good.

    altalt
    The sarcastic heart
    Teen · ParimitaPBorkar
    detail
  • Mayhem_Wolf
    Mayhem_Wolf2yr
    Commented

    Though the writing needs to be improved, the story is going pretty good. Why not make it a bit more dramatic than being a bit too straight to the point? Otherwise, this a topic which is least experimented with. Brave reach by the author , all the best

    Ch 3 "The Terrible Heart"
    altalt
    The sarcastic heart
    Teen · ParimitaPBorkar
    detail
  • Mayhem_Wolf
    Mayhem_Wolf2yr
    Posted

    For a 13-year-old author, this is exceptional quality work. Destined to be a world-renowned author I guess. This book, is amazing, from the writing to the plot. from the setting of the story to the titles of each chapter, this is professional work. Loved it. Recommend it.

    altalt
    The Legacy of the cursed Family
    Horror · Garvita_Kushwaha
    detail
  • Mayhem_Wolf
    Mayhem_Wolf2yr
    Commented

    Just a suggestion. the flow is way too fast. You will run out of content soon if you take it this fast. Why not slow it down? I won't urge you to do it. just take my words or leave it, up to you.

    Ch 3 I am sorry...
    altalt
    My Doomsday farming truck
    Sci-fi · Deep_Sky
    detail
  • Mayhem_Wolf
    Mayhem_Wolf2yr
    Commented

    suggestion- It should be women, as plural. Woman is singular. womens is not correct

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    My Doomsday farming truck
    Sci-fi · Deep_Sky
    detail
  • Mayhem_Wolf
    Mayhem_Wolf2yr
    Posted

    Refinement in the writing would do a world of difference to this novel. I do recommend reading this. It's pretty good, to be honest, but the writing style is just a thing that takes the point away from this writer. 3 stars just so that you have a lot of room for improvement. Just don't get demotivated and drop this. IT HAS A LOT OF POTENTIAL.

    altalt
    SWAPPED
    Fantasy · SPARKLE
    detail
  • Mayhem_Wolf
    Mayhem_Wolf2yr
    Commented

    Tbh I have many times.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    SWAPPED
    Fantasy · SPARKLE
    detail