Sevnir
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Sevnir5hCommented"yet" What a horrible word to use! đ±
Knowing what to do, Morgan calmly looked at the eleven Ascended who had not been taken by the Gate Guardian yet and called:- Sevnir7dCommented
Yep
That, too, was more easily said than done. The Nightmare Desert, after all, was vast. And full of all kinds of horrors. - Sevnir7dCommented
[Fated] rn
It was so tiring, to always have victory slip through his fingers at the last moment. - Sevnir11dCommented
I agree. Change Mastery to Advanced
By the way, the proficiency system in [Transcendence] is divided into five levels: Beginner, Mastery, Expert, Master, and Enlightenment. - Sevnir12dCommented
"Upgradation" isn't a word. If you're making this word up to try to make "upgrade" sound cool, stop it. "Upgradation" is cringe and lame. "Evolve" is probably the best word to use.
"Upgradation!" he would command in his heart. - Sevnir13dCommented
"How dare you claim that I'm no taller than an ant!!"
Sunny, meanwhile, was a young man of a rather modest stature. - Sevnir13dCommented
Mixed with this!
Dire Fang's Dormant Ability enhanced all his senses, especially his hearing and the sense of smell. He could even feel the tiny vibrations spreading through the ground⊠as a result, he had no blind spots. He also seemed to be able to predict the actions of his opponents by observing the tiniest changes in their stances, muscle contractions, eye movements, and other things Sunny had no knowledge of. - Sevnir13dCommented
This!
Dire Fang's Dormant Ability enhanced all his senses, especially his hearing and the sense of smell. He could even feel the tiny vibrations spreading through the ground⊠as a result, he had no blind spots. He also seemed to be able to predict the actions of his opponents by observing the tiniest changes in their stances, muscle contractions, eye movements, and other things Sunny had no knowledge of. - Sevnir14dCommented
We're blasting off again!
It was as though Sunny's soul was bleeding. - Sevnir14dCommented
Morgan rn
No matter how amused and curious she was, now was not the time to engage in these kinds of emotions. - Sevnir1mthCommented
Save yourself!
"But I have more than thirty-seven with my grandparents." - Sevnir1mthCommentedRey applied the [Greater Warrior's Mantle] to buff himself, while also increasing the intensity of the lightning formed by his [Greater Lightning Magic] Skill.
- Sevnir2mthPosted
Two words: chapter padding. I read to chapter 20, and it keeps getting worse. Seems like 15% of the chapters are repeating or rephrasing something that was mentioned earlier or drawing out the details of character interactions to annoying lengths...all to increase chapter length. Also, the blind girl who has been blind her whole life feels as helpless as someone who just went blind. Should she be impared? Yes. Should she be utterly helpless? No.
- Sevnir2mthCommented
You use "unhurriedly" a lot. Use slowly, leisurely, lazily, and nonchalantly as well to give a better variety of words that basically mean the same thing without sounding repetitive.
Opening his eyes, Leo stared above, at the wooden ceiling in daze for a couple of minutes before unhurriedly standing up... exiting the wooden house as he gazed at the horizon in deep thought. - Sevnir2mthCommented
Four times now? You use it so often that it loses its meaning.
This... - Sevnir2mthCommented
Saying "This..." is a good way to show shock, but you are using it too much. It becomes less impactful when you use it two to three times per chapter. Save it for really huge situations and mix it up with sayings like "Oh no" or something similar.
This... - Sevnir2mthCommented
The word you are looking for is "hasten." Fasten means to attach things together, like fastening your seatbelt or a rope. Hasten means to make something go faster.
Unfortunately, If I just could create a potion right now, It might save us a lot of time by fastening their recovery...