Heileon_Games
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Heileon_Games1mthCommentedThis is going to be a continuing theme throughout the story isn't it?
"Olografic?" The white-haired seemed to struggle a bit.- Heileon_Games1mthCommented
I honestly don't understand your character, you try to shove all this backstory down our throats about your oc, but he doesn't even seem to be effected by it, so what was the point?
"U-uh...yeah, I get that quite a lot" Ryan smiled a bit nervously. - Heileon_Games1mthReplied to Sir_Squirrel
no idea, I'm just getting more confused as the story goes on
"How is it just suspended in the middle of space? can people breathe inside of it? is it actually named Herta's Space Station? How do we enter there? Why does it look like a very threatening carrot?" Ryan asked as he looked at the space station through the window with amazement. - Heileon_Games1mthReplied to Dragon15681
Look, I'm not going to tell you how to write your story, but if you write a character to be unbearable, then she will be unbearable, you have written Marcus's mother as less of an mother and more of a plot device used to steer Marcus into a certain direction, we haven't actually been given an example of her being a caring mother to Marcus which we would expect due to their "good" relationship.
There you have it for all the mother-haters stuff through eyes of sociopath who wants to build stuff and live his slice of life (there is a tag for that, too!) - Heileon_Games1mthReplied to Dragon15681
Let me clarify what I'm trying to say aswell, I am not saying Marcus can't have a good relationship with his parents, when you introduced his father into the story just about no one had a problem with it. The issue isn't about Marcus's character, its his mother's, you have written her as someone who believes she knows better then her son in subjects that she has no experience in and uses that as an excuse to punish Marcus. We don't care that the story is slowing down, we don't care that he's interacting more with his family and his lovers, we don't care if he's focusing on inventing. What we care about is the fact that you've written an horrible excuse of a "mother" and shoved her down our throats. Look you might not care what I have to say, but the reason I say it is because I enjoy this story.
There you have it for all the mother-haters stuff through eyes of sociopath who wants to build stuff and live his slice of life (there is a tag for that, too!) - Heileon_Games1mthCommented
I don't want to assume, but I'm pretty sure its not that we hate mothers, you just wrote a very unlikable character and sorta thrusted her into our faces. Honestly this doesn't actually explain why Marcus goes through with everything she asks of him if his only interest is the continuation of his experiments, its pretty much an argument diectly against it. There are better ways of slowing down the story to get into the slice of life aspect, this whole mother apparently knows best bs is just annoying your readers, the grounding was bearable, "fixing heaven" was just dumb. And finally, being forced to go back to school is just the final nail in the coffin. Also saying he doesn't "have" to listen to his mother doesn't actually help when all he's done is listen to her and follow her orders.
There you have it for all the mother-haters stuff through eyes of sociopath who wants to build stuff and live his slice of life (there is a tag for that, too!) - Heileon_Games1mthReplied to W_D_3766
Permanently
"I haven't decided yet. Marcus. For now, assist the angels." Rose motioned towards Michael and Gabriel. - Heileon_Games1mthCommented
Honestly, his mother is probably the most annoying character, wondering when we can get back to focusing on just Marcus and his girls
"Don't worry, Mr. Michael, my boy is quite cynical and suspicious. He became even more so after he became the leader of his faction." Rose said with a sigh. She was surprised that there were snipers deployed already. - Heileon_Games1mthCommentedCh 83 Returning to the Roots, Getting Grounded
- Heileon_Games2mthCommented
oh God why must you do this? You made your bed now lie in it.
"It's about this whole situation. There are a lot of things I regret about it. Things I've done. Things that hurt people I care about. I lied and manipulated the only people I consider my friends in this world, and there was a time I never thought I would do that. The mere thought sickened me. But I did it anyway. And now, honestly, I don't know who I am anymore. I've become someone I don't recognize." - Heileon_Games2mthReplied to Vidhan_Bhardwaj
The whole story feels like its been forcibly drawn out...
It wasn't exactly wrong, Shin was exhausted, and was getting more exhausted with every second that passed. And that is exactly why he didn't have time to stop and chat. He had to end this before he passed out from exhaustion. - Heileon_Games2mthCommented
Wow, so that's what it feels like to actually cringe.
Even while all this was happening I was still kind of numb with how Ritsuka's fuck up almost literally possibly ended this timeline with her death, so in my stupor, I responded automatically. "Yes, Mommy?" And the rest was history. - Heileon_Games4mthReplied to Ronin46
yeah its pretty bad, but at least the author is trying, hopefully they thought it out properly this time.
"And what do you get in exchange?" Sirzechs asked dangerously, not liking one bit how Shin was using Rias as a pawn. - Heileon_Games4mthCommented
Wow, I don't think I've ever seen a more perfect description.
This book has been deleted. - Heileon_Games4mthReplied to Donedealdude
Does What? More info please.
Kuroto nodded, "Mm-hmm… He has no chance of surviving!" - Heileon_Games4mthCommented
ah, I knew this chapter was a red flag, and hers is why.
[Welcome to the multiverse Chat room] - Heileon_Games4mthCommented
Haha, she's jealous
I pushed the phone into her waiting hands and she directly stuck her tongue out while holding the phone above it to catch all of what was gushing out. I glanced at Yuri, who was staring at the phone with a frown before her hand went to her collar that was holding her head in place to her body. - Heileon_Games4mthCommented
K nevermind, a bit hasty in my judgement earlier.
Knowing that they both agreed upon the deal, they chose to shake hands. As soon as they did though, both started giggling which soon turned into full-blown laughter at the absurdity of the situation. The both of them knew each other well enough that if they wanted something, they need only ask. But even so, they chose to go through such a charade because for them, small moments like these were the ones that brightened up their days the most. "Anyways, just let me equip my armor and my weapons and then we'll head over to the Codebreaker." - Heileon_Games4mthCommented
Hmm not really a fan of using her body as a bargaining chip to win arguments, based on what was said in the chapter earlier wouldn't he already be getting this kinda thing anyway?
"Mou! You know how strong I am. The "Supreme Witch" title isn't just for show. Besides, it's not like he will be pitting any newer machines against us. He'll probably send in the Exo-Mechs again. You know what, if you let me come with you, I'll give you a lap pillow. Just as an extra, I'll also sit on your face." She had a smug expression on her face knowing that she had already won the argument. Erden imagining the smell of her sweaty pussy after an intense battle and the feeling of her supple ass on his face couldn't help but have a nosebleed. Knowing he couldn't reject her offer, he instead chose to make the best of it.