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Brian_Hanes_117

Brian_Hanes_117

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I like to write science fiction and fantasy stories. I am the same user as brianhanes117. For some reason, I cannot sign into that account. Feel free to check out my Infinite Domain series on Amazon.

2020-11-21 JoinedGlobal
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_11726d
    Commented

    Macai and Aang by Microsoft Designer

    Ch 77 Disciples of Justice Part 3
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    Avatar: Macai's Journey
    Anime & Comics · Brian_Hanes_117
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_11726d
    Commented

    Firelord Zuko joins the fray as he seeks to crush the Remnant threat for good.

    Ch 26 The Remnant's Last Stand Part 3
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    Avatar: Lingering Tensions
    Anime & Comics · Brian_Hanes_117
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_11726d
    Commented

    Macai engages his father Eyre

    Ch 24 The Remnant's Last Stand Part 1
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    Anime & Comics · Brian_Hanes_117
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_11726d
    Commented

    A Microsoft Designer image of Ozai and Eyre planning their next scheme.

    Ch 20 Ozai's Challenge Part 1
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    Avatar: Lingering Tensions
    Anime & Comics · Brian_Hanes_117
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_11726d
    Commented

    Macai and Azula as depicted by Microsoft Designer

    Ch 18 Remnant Reborn Part 1
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    Avatar: Lingering Tensions
    Anime & Comics · Brian_Hanes_117
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_11726d
    Commented

    Aang from ATLA, he is now several years older

    Ch 17 Far From the Shoreline
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    Anime & Comics · Brian_Hanes_117
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_11726d
    Commented

    Katara from ATLA

    Ch 16 Face of Tyranny
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_11726d
    Commented

    The B Team

    Ch 8 The B Team
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    Anime & Comics · Brian_Hanes_117
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_11726d
    Commented

    Hakon

    Ch 3 A Colonel's Promise
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    Anime & Comics · Brian_Hanes_117
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_11727d
    Commented

    Karanga and Beruto attack (by MS Designer)

    Ch 55 No Better Lecture
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    Avatar: Macai's Journey
    Anime & Comics · Brian_Hanes_117
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_1171mth
    Commented

    Sea Guerrilla pirates

    Ch 20 Beneath the Bush
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_1171mth
    Commented

    Alternate take on Older Azula by Crypko

    Ch 70 What's next?
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    Avatar: Macai's Journey
    Anime & Comics · Brian_Hanes_117
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_1171mth
    Commented

    Here is a take on Zerrel from Microsoft Designer.

    Ch 60 The Greatest Statement
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    Avatar: Macai's Journey
    Anime & Comics · Brian_Hanes_117
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_1171mth
    Commented

    General Eyre as depicted by Microsoft Designer.

    Ch 3 Meeting Azula
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_1171mth
    Commented

    Here is a different take of Eyre, using a template from the Character Creator platform.

    Ch 6 A Difficult Season
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    Anime & Comics · Brian_Hanes_117
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_1171mth
    Commented

    Here is another take on Yosari. Straight Avatar style from Microsoft Designer.

    Ch 4 Deliberations
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_1171mth
    Posted

    The story is well written. The updates seem to be steady, and it develops naturally. The cover is engrossing, and the intro is atypical. On the other hand, the writing format is a little odd. It seems every sentence is spaced out but I'm not really sure why that is. It would make sense if there were some sort of pattern, like spacing each quotation, however that is not the case from what I can tell. There are also moments there are proper paragraphs before going back to spacing one sentence at a time. Putting that aside, I'd like to see a bit more description. Description can be done in many ways. It can refer to specific narration that describes how characters, the environment, and other things look in the story. It can be narration that lays out what certain things smell or sound like (which isn't used as often but is pleasant to see every now-and-then). With that being said, I wish the author the best on their journey. This is an entertaining piece for whoever may be interested. Dear writer, I welcome you to check out my story "Avatar: The Vindicated Avenger". It is a spinoff of the fan expansion of the hit animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender, called "Avatar: Macai's Journey". I would love to know what you think of it. https://www.webnovel.com/book/avatar-the-vindicated-avenger_26486522605265405

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    Unknown Phenomenon
    Fantasy · Storie_muxica
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_1171mth
    Replied to Brian_Hanes_117

    Another thing I would add is to make sure that you are making an impact with relatable dialogue, drama, or humor as quickly as possible. This is an effective way to capture people's interest. Resonating with someone is particularly important at the start of a novel because that will decide how likely they are to keep reading it. How you close is also paramount but in a situation like this, the first few chapters should always be the priority.

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    Oath of Being Temporally Yours
    Fantasy · Han_Sirang
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_1171mth
    Posted

    This story has a catchy cover and title. The writing is flowery, poetic, and touching. The author clearly has a wide vocabulary. The description seems to hit most areas including visual and each sentence feels differently. I definitely think this is an awesome story. With that being said, the description goes overboard at times where it could be more efficient and straightforward. Remember, you as a writer want to reach as many readers as possible. Part of that is making sure your story is well-polished and edited. Part of that is thinking outside of the box when explaining things as you did. Another aspect of that is not going over-the-top to explain every single detail, as many people are not that interested in every detail; try to strike a balance. I wish the best to the creator on her/his future projects. To the author, I welcome you to check out my story "Avatar: The Vindicated Avenger". It is a spinoff of the fan expansion of the hit animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender, called "Avatar: Macai's Journey". I would love to know what you think of it. https://www.webnovel.com/book/avatar-the-vindicated-avenger_26486522605265405

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    Oath of Being Temporally Yours
    Fantasy · Han_Sirang
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  • Brian_Hanes_117
    Brian_Hanes_1171mth
    Commented

    neat

    Soon, the king's men marched through the once formidable halls of Embercliff Citadel. The air was heavy with trepidation as they cautiously navigated the desolate chambers, each step accompanied by the echo of their own unease. The grand citadel, once a symbol of power and grandeur, now exuded an aura of death and despair. The remnants of a kingdom in turmoil lay scattered around them like ghosts of a forgotten past.
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    Oath of Being Temporally Yours
    Fantasy · Han_Sirang
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