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AbysallNight

AbysallNight

Lv14

Aspiring Novelist

2020-10-24 JoinedEuropean Union
1.5kh

of reading

800

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21

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2850
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight11mth
    Commented

    Did he ever read the books? or is he just one if those reincrantprs who have heard rumours from friends?

    'I think Grandmaster will be ecstatic'. A super martial soul like the Golden Dragon, which existed only in legends, its appearance was no less enticing to an avid Martial Soul researcher like Grandmaster than it was to a man who saw a breathtaking beauty.
    altalt
    Douluo Dalu: Royal Dragon Astonishing the World
    Anime & Comics · Kisshot
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    Tis decent start but there are alot of gramtical errors.

    Ch 1 Chapter 1 - Monologuing is bad. Stop it, get some help.
    altalt
    Code: Infinity [Reboot]
    Anime & Comics · SR_2027
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    he supposed to be self-centred, selfish and egotistical but doesn't stick to those traits? People don't change over night it takes months if not years, even in near death situations.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    MY HAREM IN DC & MARVEL MULTIVERSE
    Anime & Comics · Xcalibur_Xc
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    Unless the father was scum? which should have been obvious, taking it to court would have easily contested the will and then there's being able to claim it if it's jointly owned which any spouse would do if they cared for one another or had kids? more so in the fact they had kids even more so in the fact its clearly publicly know supernatural incidents happening constantly through history. too many plot holes. and then some dumb excuse.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    MY HAREM IN DC & MARVEL MULTIVERSE
    Anime & Comics · Xcalibur_Xc
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Replied to Tiuh_Gojo_Senpai

    100% he's defiently has below average IQ. he got done in himself by his girlfriend. the junkyard could be alright. Sending his sister to a good or best school? takes connections and money not hard to make he literally has the ability to seduce the entirety of the female population.

    Ch 7 A DEAL WITH FURY
    altalt
    MY HAREM IN DC & MARVEL MULTIVERSE
    Anime & Comics · Xcalibur_Xc
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    have money and power*

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    MY HAREM IN DC & MARVEL MULTIVERSE
    Anime & Comics · Xcalibur_Xc
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    He can though? remove plot armour and bro has it.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    MY HAREM IN DC & MARVEL MULTIVERSE
    Anime & Comics · Xcalibur_Xc
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    I have never in my live hear siblings say bro or sis, though you do you. To female or male friends sure but it's like someone calling their friends senior bother or sister like they're in soke culti novel.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    MY HAREM IN DC & MARVEL MULTIVERSE
    Anime & Comics · Xcalibur_Xc
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    Typical Idiot. The fact he has amnesia and in a world like DxD is problem magnet in itself. Ex-Herpines are problem magnets, being good looking is a potential problem magnet, trying to pursue peace whilst trying to pick up the good women out there is a problem magnet, everything he wants is a magnet for problems in itself, unless he goes and lives in a secluded dimension that nobody can access peace doesn't exist. peace is temporary, chaos is eternal he's clearly not going to start massacring everyone above 5 so that he's left alone. he needs to man up its pitiful his behaviour and a disgrace to intelligence.

    Ch 16 Chapter 14 - Plans for the future and A Magician's resolve*
    altalt
    Winds of Change (DxD)
    Anime & Comics · Fictitiouz
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    This book is pain to read, none of the words flow smoothly, there's literally a bunch of convoluted info and wordings, sometimes simples better, words that describe certain things better, itll also cut doen on useless or repeated ideas. It is also, mainly just a monologue which though with truths is largely unrealistic not deducting the fact it all feels 2D. Revising chapters would be pretty good, though if you're writing purely for yourself and don't care about improving in anyway ignore everything I've said and treat it as a KW.

    My only advantage is that I can strengthen at an absurd speed that even surprised Hayato, the strongest man in the world (according to himself).
    altalt
    No Otaku with Harem System (English Version)
    Anime & Comics · Bukaro
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Replied to ZetaV

    Game of Thrones.

    Cúntóir: Answer: Three heads, three dragons.
    altalt
    Winds of Change (DxD)
    Anime & Comics · Fictitiouz
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    liason? intermediary? Contact? Merc? So many diffrent words that coukd be used and sound better.

    "So, you're the middleman?"
    altalt
    Winds of Change (DxD)
    Anime & Comics · Fictitiouz
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Replied to Apolonchene06

    it's natrual to take all the Canon girls. they're immensely talented, gold looking and have unique personalities. And Loyal, if you remove the change at the start about Shan.

    "It's you, of course, along with Mei'er, Jiao'er, and Xia Ning Chang." Su Mu chuckled.
    altalt
    Dual Cultivation In Martial Peak
    Anime & Comics · Pastlives
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    I feel like that's natrual. I hate these two things the most too. Prostitution and Betrayal/Backstabbing

    "The first thing I despise is prostitution, and the second is backstabbing a friend. Unsurprisingly, your master has managed to do both in a single day."
    altalt
    Dual Cultivation In Martial Peak
    Anime & Comics · Pastlives
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    Probally good to get a conflagrated knowledge sea or a unique mutation

    {A/N- Divine Sense and Knowledge Sea will be explained properly when Su Mu reaches the Immortal Ascension Realm.}
    altalt
    Dual Cultivation In Martial Peak
    Anime & Comics · Pastlives
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    He needs to get the sealed world bead, top of the 10 best things he should aquire.

    Ch 37 Service
    altalt
    Dual Cultivation In Martial Peak
    Anime & Comics · Pastlives
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Replied to Pastlives

    They should be able to go off on their own but nearing when he leaves and goes onto OH and then the rest of the fight with the ink he's barley with his girls. As long as that doesn't happen it'll be much better.

    Ch 31 Being Humble (*)
    altalt
    Dual Cultivation In Martial Peak
    Anime & Comics · Pastlives
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    pretty good so far. MP was good but unsatisfying he left numerous women behind for zero reasons. even if he didn't take all of them there were at least 2 or 3 extras that should've been.

    Ch 31 Being Humble (*)
    altalt
    Dual Cultivation In Martial Peak
    Anime & Comics · Pastlives
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Commented

    I thought maybe he wasn't mental handicapped but one again is. Some many problems with the way he thinks.

    Ch 6 Chapter 6 Unexpected Malevolence
    altalt
    Release That Succubus
    Fantasy · different_minds
    detail
  • AbysallNight
    AbysallNight1yr
    Replied to AbysallNight

    consentual*****

    Chiaki looked up with a smug smile. "Hehe."
    altalt
    A Cliché Multiverse story
    Anime & Comics · GloriousMilfHunter
    detail