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David_Whitmore

David_Whitmore

Lv1
2020-09-08 JoinedGlobal
13.4h

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23
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Excellent!

    This chapter has been deleted.
    Exodus: The Assassin's Path
    Games · BotwaCazador
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Wow! This is by far the best novel here. I am exceedingly happy, but I would be even happier if I could figure out to put it in my Library. To the Author: Please keep goingn you are a terrific story teller.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    Exodus: The Assassin's Path
    Games · BotwaCazador
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    This Conference allows one to discuss incredibly difficult social and ethical questions.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Posted

    This has an excellent story-line. The main character is flawed, and is both aware of his flaws and accepting of them. The society in which he lives is well described and stable; the Laws, as well as the inter-personal relationships with characters around him. As for the author's writing, I have learned to accept the grammatical errors due to the probability the English is not their first language; my belief is that the author is dependent upon using translation software, either prior to or upon posting this novel on the website. Once I came to that conclusion, I found it much easier to read this excellent story. To the author: Thank you for your hard work and diligence. Please keep writing as you have a wondrously creative mind. On a side note; I'm a cyborg myself. Not to the degree your characters are, but I do have electronic devices implanted in my body, along my spine, to aid in controlling my movements while reducing pain levels from bodily damage. Have yourself a great day!

    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Excellent! You managed to overwhelm the character's inate and societal biases. Good job!

    This chapter has been deleted.
    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Thank you for writing this book. I enjoyed it immensely. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Hmm... I'm wondering if early Mohammed Ali was an inspiration here. Maybe the mixing of this 'Boxer' with the 'Maid'?

    This chapter has been deleted.
    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Excellent plot twist! And yet another example of humankind's ability to pervert Personal Protection Equipment into an offensive weapon for mere greed.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Test pilots are known to push systems to their limits... To determine what exactly those limits are. It's their job! Salma did her job.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Aww... Bias? Females have been historically proven to be both sronger and to have better reflexes than a comparably sized male. Social nuances aside.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Wow! I love the way you proved the axiom proclaiming 'Even detrimental accidents can have positive results'. Keep writing! Please.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    [img=update]

    This chapter has been deleted.
    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Cool! Looks like it's going to get real interesting.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Excellent! The letter was a good touch, certainly a better approach than how my own dead-beat dad did with my siblings and I. Good surprise ending, too.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    I really enjoyed this character setup; it demonstrates the the shields we erect to protect ourselves and others; because even the worst of us have reasons for being what we are and why. My hope is that the rest of the book is as well written. [img=recommend]

    Ch 1 Leaving Webnovel
    The Suit-Maker
    Sci-fi · Ghostman
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    While I'm enjoying the story itself, I'm pretty sure that I will not be paying a single penny to read any further. Too many grammatical errors and incorrect words that sound like the word that's supposed to be there. Again, great story! But please, please, use a program like Grammarly; it will help immensely.

    Ch 69 The Chair
    My Vampire System
    Fantasy · JKSManga
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Please, do not depend on your device's spell check; it cannot detect the difference between words you mean to say from the words that sound like the ones you wanted to use.

    Ch 22 Layla's Request
    My Vampire System
    Fantasy · JKSManga
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    GREET

    Just by looking at him Quinn and Peter could tell he had been in a ruff fight. Bruises and scuff marks everywhere, Large cuts on his back. He looked like he had been in a tough battle. Not only that but Vorden didn't even great them when the two entered.
    My Vampire System
    Fantasy · JKSManga
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Time of PEACE, not piece.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    My Vampire System
    Fantasy · JKSManga
    detail
  • David_Whitmore
    David_Whitmore3yr
    Commented

    Peter's name should be capitalized .

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    My Vampire System
    Fantasy · JKSManga
    detail