China_Williams
Lv1
2020-09-06 JoinedGlobal
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China_Williams3yrCommentedThis is good start. I notice you are missing punctuations in the dialogue between your characters. You should really put punctuation I think that would help you a lot. I am not here to nag on you about it just pointing it out. I really like this story it is really intriguing
This book has been deleted.- China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 29 Meeting the Atkins (3)
- China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 28 Meeting the Atkins (2)
- China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 27 Meeting the Atkins (1)
- China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 26 Mr. Duncan’s Checkup
- China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 25 No Knowledge
- China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 13 The Cages (3)
- China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 12 The Cages (2)
- China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 10 The Arcade
- China_Williams3yrCommented
a***w Noah he is such a good brother
After we turned in the putters, Noah dragged me through the Arcade and taught me all his favorite games. "These are the essentials." He told me. "If you don't know how to do these, then the other boys at school will make fun of you. And if they do that, I'll have to go around starting fights to protect you. Then mom will get mad at the both of us. See the connection?" - China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 9 Big Brother
- China_Williams3yrCommented
lol Noah is too funny.
"You would put him with those troublemakers?" Noah looked at me with pity. "It's gong to be hard on you, Jakey. This is what you get for being so smart." - China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 8 Shopping
- China_Williams3yrCommented
I wonder why his dad took his older brother but him. I like suspense in this story
I stuffed a cookie in my mouth. I got what Noah was trying to say. He thought I might be like his brothers and that there would be a significant gap between us. I also felt like there was a gap between me and my brother. He was ten when I was three so there was a seven year gap. Dad took him away and not me. That's all I remember, but that's enough to make a difference between us. - China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 6 Unpacking
- China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 5 First Meeting
- China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 4 Watsonville
- China_Williams3yrCommentedCh 3 Mr. Duncan