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Edgelord_Jax

Edgelord_Jax

Lv1
2020-08-24 JoinedGlobal
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  • Edgelord_Jax
    Edgelord_Jax3yr
    Posted

    Pretty good, at times could use a bit more of the "show don't tell" rule like for example at the beginning it states that he's highly intelligent witch comes off pretty bad. It's better usually to explain stuff like that trough actions and achievements rather than to blatantly say it. Other than that, the world is pretty interesting and I'm wondering if he'll end up going back to earth at some point in the story since it seems kinda relevant.

    altalt
    Black Onyx - Forgotten Magic
    Fantasy · GoldenShadow
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