NovaLuna
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NovaLuna5mthReplied to Vanadhi_LuciaThank you for explaining this. I was honestly very confused by how it was worded (attending college before high school).
They eventually entered a college together and successfully ascended to high school.- NovaLuna5mthReplied to Lourila
Yes. There was no doubt in my mind about that. It's why his blood is so much more potent than other house leaders. It's not diluted over the years, which is why he can create races that have long since been extinct, or considered to now be "rare". His blood is just as strong as any of the originals blood was.
"Yes, I'm unsure of what the vampire did to me that day. As I said, it was all a blur the minute he looked at me with those red eyes." Arthur replied. "But my bloodline was not considered to be from one of the thirteen. In a way, I was considered a first like them, or at least an artificial first." - NovaLuna5mthReplied to LaoTze
True, but it doesn't change the fact that you can tell this was a rough draft. It's very easy to write the dialogue 1st, then go back through to add in details, description, actions, touch, smells, sounds, etc... I never said it had to be overly wordy. But a good description is essential for a good story. 🙂
Ch 1 Chapter 1: Are you planning to hold me like this forever? - NovaLuna5mthCommented
R.I.P. Theo!
I can't wait to see Theobauld again. What will his face look like? Will he scold me again? Or will he smile while listening to my plan? - NovaLuna5mthCommented
Typo: "her" face should be "his" face
This paragraph has been deleted. - NovaLuna5mthReplied to Hile_Lawrence
Ooh! That's interesting! I remember seeing that photo of them both showing their crest marking how they were both slaves. Thank you for explaining about the difference of the crest placement! 🙂
'Illska is lucky to move Illska's heart to the stomach. "Or else Illska would have died,' Illska thought. - NovaLuna5mthReplied to Hile_Lawrence
Pretty!
[ILLUSTRATION] - NovaLuna5mthReplied to Hile_Lawrence
Oh dang. That sucks. I'm sorry! 😢
This paragraph has been deleted. - NovaLuna5mthCommented
I get the feeling as if Allen just learned how to access Reig's Shikai state, here! 🤭😜
"Dai abare, Reig." He unconsciously mumbled the same word Theobauld and Ottar used to release their armacar's ability. As Allen muttered it, his scarf fused with his right hand, turning into a sword attached to Allen's right hand. - NovaLuna5mthCommented
Author: This paragraph is a repeat of the paragraph directly prior to this. Just worded slightly different. I'm assuming you were re-writing the paragraph, and forgot to delete the old paragraph?
This paragraph has been deleted. - NovaLuna5mthCommentedA projection of a lazy and fat orange cat appeared.
- NovaLuna5mthReplied to Hile_Lawrence
Thank you! I wasn't sure if it was just a phrase I wasn't familiar with, or not. 🙂
This paragraph has been deleted. - NovaLuna5mthCommented
Typo: "she can tell" should be "he can tell".
This paragraph has been deleted. - NovaLuna5mthCommented
Typo: "how she got out" should be "how he got out". The sentence is referring to Ottar (a guy).
First, the battle-loving paladin, Ottar Hannefson. He used to be a peasant, but the Archbishop picked him up and turned him into a paladin because he dealt with problems well. Before he became a paladin, he was a Mithril-ranked dungeon explorer who lost his whole group on the 6th floor. He was the only one who took the six dead bodies of his group out of the dungeon. The many cuts and bruises on his body and face showed that he let monsters attack him while he was carrying the bodies. No one could figure out how she got out without being hurt. His toughness and resilience were just what the emergency mission needed. - NovaLuna5mthCommented
Typo: "Se" should be "She".
This paragraph has been deleted. - NovaLuna5mthCommented
Interesting! Since this is his ability, then the question of if Allen is part Norttish can easily be explained away. Have him display his Amnis casting abilities, to show how "little mana" he has to dispel any assumptions that he is a threat. Allen doesn't know how to tap into his Demonic Mana (which I'm assuming is was Reig actually absorbed) yet, and he hasn't been inside the human world long enough to have absorbed a lot of Divine Mana (which is why his mana is so low). But Allen doesn't KNOW any of this yet. So the Bishop's ability won't be able to sense that Allen is hiding something, if he isn't aware of it himself.
"Investigate Wolverlope's residence more deeply; my god's blessing ensures that she is still hiding something," - NovaLuna5mthCommented
Good girl!
She picked up the books on the floor and helped put them on the shelf. - NovaLuna6mthCommented
Please tell me there's gonna be a plot twist! Something to keep him on the path of hating humans! 🙏
Allen felt a little confident in what Felicia was saying. He thought that this person might actually be able to do it. - NovaLuna6mthCommented
Keep dreaming, Princess! It's nice to have goals, but keep them realistic! 🤭
"Humph! This kind of thing is easy for an honorable noble like me! "Shortly, I'll be even stronger than Allen!" - NovaLuna6mthCommented
I love Allen! 🤭
"Stop talking sh*t and be stronger," Allen said as he sipped the glass.