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Necroghan

Necroghan

Lv12

Do you ever wonder; if you could reach out and touch a stranger, just one person and change some small part of their life? Don't you think that would be kind of magical? Just a little bit?

2020-06-08 JoinedUnited Kingdom
-d

Writing

64h

of reading

47

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Badges

6

Moments

58
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan2yr
    Replied to UrAverageSkeleton

    I'm really sorry, a lot has gone on in my life recently and I've neglected to put the time aside. I will get back to it, thank you for your support.

    Ch 31 The Renegades.
    altalt
    Tenth Life of a House Cat
    Fantasy · Necroghan
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Replied to Lord_Fang

    I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thank you for making it this far!

    Ch 31 The Renegades.
    altalt
    Tenth Life of a House Cat
    Fantasy · Necroghan
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Replied to NoNameP

    I will take note of this. Thank you for your feedback.

    Ch 4 Why does it have to be a shovel?
    altalt
    Tenth Life of a House Cat
    Fantasy · Necroghan
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Replied to foxfoxisduck

    Thank you for your kind review! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    altalt
    Tenth Life of a House Cat
    Fantasy · Necroghan
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Replied to YerEyrKirg

    I'm glad you did! If I'm honest I have no idea what will happen next either! I just feel like I'm following them around taking notes half the time.

    Ch 12 Let's hear it.
    altalt
    Tenth Life of a House Cat
    Fantasy · Necroghan
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Replied to SNS27

    You're welcome! Thank's for your support!

    The Whistling Raven it is.
    altalt
    Tenth Life of a House Cat
    Fantasy · Necroghan
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Replied to Scopeverse

    No idea, comment just dissappeared 🤷‍♂️

    …I'm on my way." he smiled as his eyes slowly closed. Basking in the slight warmth of the morning sun. He felt death's gentle hand upon his shoulder.
    altalt
    Tenth Life of a House Cat
    Fantasy · Necroghan
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Replied to mozza_mello

    Aww, thank you! 😊 I'll try my strongest!

    Ch 61 CHAPTER 61: BEFORE THE CONQUEST (3)
    altalt
    Earth's Doom Starts with... Me?
    Fantasy · mozza_mello
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Posted

    A good story brought to life by a fledgling author spreading their wings. Although there are still areas for improvement the story is engaging and fun to read. Great job Author! Keep up the good work!

    altalt
    Ones' Path 大
    Fantasy · LeftPinky
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Commented

    Ok, it probably feels like I went in on you there. But let me say this; the story is good, really good. You just need to work on making it read as good as you have it in your mind. Forget about the unnecessary details, your readers minds will fill in the blanks. Focus on the story. Good job so far!

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Ones' Path 大
    Fantasy · LeftPinky
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Replied to Necroghan

    The one after 'Ms Elenoi'

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Ones' Path 大
    Fantasy · LeftPinky
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Commented

    Again I'd change this to: 'To the side, a scrawny looking man watched on. Fear and salt stains covered his face. He was twiggy and dishevelled, awkwardly straightening his back to speak.' The content is the same but mine reads a lot slower. What you've written is good, you just need to get into the habit of breaking it up. Use of sentences is important!

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Ones' Path 大
    Fantasy · LeftPinky
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Commented

    Ok so this sentence is too long. Try breaking it up a bit. I read it out loud if I'm not sure, if it sounds like a mouthful it's probably too long. It change it to this: 'A room on the first floor was boiling with ghost like auras. Ten people were sat around a long decorated table. The wood creaked ceaselessly under the menacing aura's pressing against its frame.' Try to steer clear of using too many descriptive words in a row. If you have to describe something in detail, try to sneak things in later so you don't end up with a whole line of adjectives.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Ones' Path 大
    Fantasy · LeftPinky
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Commented

    Ok I'll chuck a couple comments in if I spot anything, with my advice if I have any. Feel free to delete my comments if you make any adjustments because of what I said. Or just leave them up so I look like an idiot 😂 your call.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Ones' Path 大
    Fantasy · LeftPinky
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Posted

    Well written and enjoyable. Very good grammar, which is rare. The story is quick to get into the action, no messing around. Shame there's not more chapters. My only work on point would be; don't be afraid to break those paragraphs up a bit more! This is a mobile site and that sort of thing makes it easier to read. Other than that, really good job Author!

    altalt
    Re-uploading For Spirity
    Urban · AstralGodZero
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Replied to pikafuckyou
    [Time left until earth's doom: 3 years]
    altalt
    Earth's Doom Starts with... Me?
    Fantasy · mozza_mello
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Commented

    Good first chapter! Remember to proofread! Try something like Grammarly for the minor mistakes. Works a treat.

    This chapter has been deleted.
    altalt
    Song of the Nameless
    Fantasy · Spicybuun
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Posted

    Overall, not bad. The story progresses at a smooth pace and is pretty engaging. My one work on point would be; don't be afraid to make shorter paragraphs. I feel like you could really benefit from adding a bit of space between some sentences. A lot of people on the site are mobile users and that sort of thing makes it easier to read. Good job so far!

    altalt
    Song of the Nameless
    Fantasy · Spicybuun
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Replied to TauCetiEarth

    Thank you for your feedback! I really appreciate it. Im glad you read as far as you did. I will take your words on board.

    …I'm on my way." he smiled as his eyes slowly closed. Basking in the slight warmth of the morning sun. He felt death's gentle hand upon his shoulder.
    altalt
    Tenth Life of a House Cat
    Fantasy · Necroghan
    detail
  • Necroghan
    Necroghan3yr
    Commented

    Sneaky sneaky

    Ch 60 CHAPTER 60: BEFORE THE CONQUEST (2)
    altalt
    Earth's Doom Starts with... Me?
    Fantasy · mozza_mello
    detail