MELBA
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MELBA9dCommentedCh 3 Chapter Three- MELBA9dCommentedCh 2 Chapter Two
- MELBA1mthCommentedCh 12 Naruto : Domination: Chapter 12
- MELBA1mthCommentedCh 3 Naruto : Domination: Chapter 3
- MELBA1mthCommentedCh 1 Naruto : Domination: Chapter 1
- MELBA1mthPosted
The story is good definitely not the best I've seen for a twilight fic but definitely good. There are a couple problems though. 1. The Author keeps putting AN notes in between each paragraph all the way up to at least chapter 30 because that's how far I am. Now as a reader this really breaks my immersion, and it's really hard to put my self in a characters shoes when there's an author in between the paragraphs trying to give emotional support through a screen. 2. Too much drama. This isnt me hating or anything, there is a moment in this book that could've, specifically because of her power, ended if she had said one word ..."stop". I get that horrible shit happens to people and not everyone had the power to stop it, but she had the power a power she didn't use. I understand having your character experience trauma is important for plot. It's not really the situation that bothered it was the execution. If it had been vampires instead of humans that had attacked her it would make much more sense for her to not come out unscathed, but a bunch of humans, a thousand times weaker than her even as child somehow overpowering her? Impossible. Anyway I'm done with my rant. Enjoy reading if you still want to.
- MELBA2mthReplied to Bikram_BrarFeeling a breeze wash over my face, I slowly opened my eyes to find the blue sky stretched before me, pages of my comic book flying in the air, obscuring my vision. Confusion swirled within me as I realized I wasn't lying on my comfy couch, but on something hard and jagged.
- MELBA2mthCommentedWork, Comics, Chaos #1
- MELBA2mthCommentedHer eyes at the same level as his had only his as the world, and without so much of a warning aside from a burst of emotion in the empathetic bond she closed her eyes and immediately kissed him on the lips, his bushy yet soft beard tickling her skin pleasantly as she approached her body to his further.
- MELBA3mthCommentedCh 3 The curses we share
- MELBA3mthCommentedCh 15 15: The Big Bad Wolf [5]
- MELBA3mthCommentedCh 3 Chapter 3: Harley Quinn
- MELBA3mthCommentedCh 24 Chapter 24
- MELBA3mthCommentedCh 2 Chapter 2
- MELBA4mthReplied to PeachMonarchCh 1 Warning:
- MELBA4mthCommented
Thanks for the chapter.
This book has been deleted. - MELBA4mthCommented
did he get taller?
"Speak of the Devil and he shall appear.", Mary said her eye narrowing as the one main individual they were talking about could be seen walking with long strides toward them, he was a 2.16 meter (~7ft1) tall man of pure muscles yet perfectly proportioned, and his silver eyes were locked onto them. - MELBA5mthCommented
Thanks for the chapter
This book has been deleted. - MELBA5mthReplied to Kyl_Grace
Same
This book has been deleted.