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Mystice

Mystice

Lv10
2020-04-13 JoinedUnited States
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Writing

6h

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12
  • Mystice
    Mystice1yr
    Commented

    Entering ancient caves? Yeah nothing bad will happen because of that

     The military tried to break down the strange cave several times by launching various types of missiles and nuclear weapons, but they couldn't put a scratch on it, and the water was also left unscathed by the barrage of attacks on the cave.
    I Shall Cuck Everyone
    Fantasy · Perverted_Fella
    detail
  • Mystice
    Mystice1yr
    Commented

    Really need to make that clear

    "Fine. But when you ask for help in the future, remember that." Gesicht (The male with black hair) reminds the other male
    Villain in Shepherd's cloth
    Sci-fi · Mystice
    detail
  • Mystice
    Mystice1yr
    Commented

    I mean. . . You can't really look behind you either

    Nikolai has never been fond of darkness. He's sure no one is. It's terrifying knowing that someone could be behind you and you wouldn't see because of the dark. He feels a blow of cold air to his neck and he shudders.
    A God For A God
    Fantasy · xanahi
    detail
  • Mystice
    Mystice1yr
    Posted

    So far it's better than the original, with the opening being slow but quick. As you read you can see into the characters (Just a little at current state). some punctuation problems. but do far so good

    A God For A God
    Fantasy · xanahi
    detail
  • Mystice
    Mystice1yr
    Commented

    So... magic beer?

    Nikolai breaths in and out, "It's something similar to liquid luck. It gives you confidence to do things."
    A God For A God
    Fantasy · xanahi
    detail
  • Mystice
    Mystice1yr
    Commented

    One. Yes this is pretty good so far Two. Why were you gonna kill our boy? Three. Torturing Niko seems pretty good if he's going to be a king with his current body and how most people seem him

    Ch 1 Hi
    doesn't matter L
    Fantasy · xanahi
    detail
  • Mystice
    Mystice1yr
    Commented

    One. Yes this is pretty good so far Two. Why were you gonna kill our boy? Three. Torturing Niko seems pretty good if he's going to be a king with his current body and how most people seem him

    Ch 1 Hi
    doesn't matter L
    Fantasy · xanahi
    detail
  • Mystice
    Mystice1yr
    Commented

    Good Idea for perspective switching

    -
    doesn't matter L
    Fantasy · xanahi
    detail
  • Mystice
    Mystice1yr
    Commented

    And his name be 'The Chad In Dreads'

    He was a dark-skinned man with white dreads that had golden ornaments and glorious light yellow eyes. He had a very chiseled face. In Nikolai's eyes, the man was the most majestic man he laid his eye on. He was seriously gorgeous.
    doesn't matter L
    Fantasy · xanahi
    detail
  • Mystice
    Mystice1yr
    Commented

    comeback of the year

    "I am a cat."
    doesn't matter L
    Fantasy · xanahi
    detail
  • Mystice
    Mystice1yr
    Commented

    Money 1,000 Stone=1 Silver ($ 822.37 USD) Money 100 silver= 1 Gold($822,36.9 USD) 10,000 gold= 1 Platinum($82,236,900 USD) 1 million Platinum=1 Spina($82,236,900,000,000 USD)

    Ch 2 What's a Weapon?
    Villain in Shepherd's cloth
    Sci-fi · Mystice
    detail
  • Mystice
    Mystice1yr
    Posted

    Your story is thought out and clear. No problems on this end main protag has a good amount of depth for how long we've met them. The story has questions that have been answered while leaving room for theories. Not a lot about backgrounds but this is still very young. Over all 4.5/ out of five

    doesn't matter L
    Fantasy · xanahi
    detail