ok, gotta say, while the whole 'video game' theme is not new, this writer already shows great promise. Too often I come across really interesting stories, but no actual writing talent to back it up. Here we have a writer that clearly has some talent, and the plot crafting also shows skill. one of the greatest rules (and most neglected on these sites) is to 'show' instead of 'tell', and here is finally a writer who is at least attempting it. It's still pretty early but I am already intrigued and pleased with this beginning. Well worth all the work you have put into it so far, author! well done!

Looking forward to more, but make sure to take good care of yourself! thanks for all the hard work!!

ok...I've been way too immersed to leave a comment till now. gotta say, the story is engrossing so far. even the writing--though in definite need of a good editor--the talent is clearly there!!! especially enjoying more prose than usual! sometimes feel like I'm reading a script with some of these, not a written story, but this feels much closer! enjoying the main character and her journey so far, not going the typical routes in many respects, slightly 'trope-y' in other spots, but still really enjoyable!!! all encouragement to the author!!!

Totally understand and just hoped my own unprofessional opinion can help in a small way. I know how much hard work and love goes into making a story so I hope you can be genuinely proud of all that you do and keep plugging away!!!😁

would like to suggest to the author to ease into your flashbacks by using bold or italicized prose until the flashback ends. I don't mind that they come in the midst of a scene but it is confusing when there is no signifier to denote the beginning or end. would help the flow, I think.

Good so far! Cliche plot but he execution is pretty good! Nice flow, dialogue is good and doesn't drag! Like the female leads current head-space and emotional responses. Not too far in but hope the author keeps the momentum 😁

only 2 chapters in so can't say too much about the plot yet. Some pretty standard backstory/plot, but the writing is decent. The dialogue feels a bit forced and amateurish, but--again--not bad! Just unpolished 😁 will continue as I am enjoying it currently! thanking the author for hard work tho!

Totally get the plagiarism vibe!!!! Been thinking it the whole time...

my thoughts exactly....

Yes yes!! Figure it out soon!!! Can't take this!

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

so, not too far into the story yet, but the writing is fair and no big issues. however, I would like to say that (at this point) I feel absolutely no connection to the female lead at all. I realize this is just scratching the surface of the story so far, but can't say I'm at all eager to continue. there are too many story lines like this so that if you don't grab your reader right away you will never get another chance. just my own opinion tho!

Hope you're ok, author!! am looking forward to the rest of this story so can't wait to read more!! Here is lots of encouragement so that we loyal readers might get a new chapter soon! all the best!!!

gotta agree! I don't hate Ford and think he has room and ability to grow, but there is something rather endearing about Lucas.

gotta say, a part of me is somewhat rooting for Lucas. am I bent? lol I can't help but be interested in seeing what the journey might look like if he was the 'dark horse actual male lead' she ends up with. they've got some interesting interactions and views of each of right now.

lol strangely, I don't feel nearly as annoyed with the ML as some I've come across! at least his faults can be attributed to inexperience as well as a healthy dose of narcissism and some carelessness. however, he is not irredeemable!! he at least shows progress (though slow) in his character! I'm totally not opposed to complicated, dark or overbearing characters...but they have to grow and change accordingly. otherwise, contempt for the character can only deepen. I very much applaud the author for at least being truer to your own character set up than some!! I especially love that Julia is also changing and growing stronger! no easy-to-cave-heroine, though she worries me at times lol the writing isn't professional quality but its still very enjoyable, and made more so by the story progression. a few plot holes too, but still maintaining its charm overall. thanks for an entertaining read!

Please continue to update!! just found this gem recently and am so disappointed that it has been so long since the update. really appreciate those who have already worked hard to bring us the previous chapters!! thank you and hope you can continue!!!!

Yes, yes, definitely ironic sentence from a 'rebirther' lol but actually struck me a moment later as being a little more profound because of it....a little bit? lol Not like she knew she could be reborn, so that is how she lived the 1st time, but still holds the same value after an impossible rebirth....hmmm just interesting to contemplate...

I am slightly--strike that--GREATLY disturbed by the justification being brandished for these, let's face it, psychopathic tendencies....the ML already makes me uncomfortable....not sure there can be a way to justify kidnapping no matter what spin you try to put on it....

.....huh?