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Chase_Xavier_123

Chase_Xavier_123

Lv3

Introvert, an intj, Capricorn, fujoshi.

2020-02-13 JoinedIndia
-d

Writing

71.2h

of reading

158

Read books

Badges

7

Moments

694
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Posted

    Writing Quality - Great third pov. Either way, I am a sucker for 3rd pov. There is feeling a of darkness and mystery as we see the journey of Mc. Story Development It is stable I felt it was slow during the initial first chapter but who doesn't live seeing Mc in pain and feeling the misery of losing her parents? Oh! you guys don't. Weird 😕.Character Design: My fav thing about this novel is that Mc is great She doesn't just get used to the family secret or any of her new family bs. She goes with the flow but can feel she just doesn't magically forget the people who took care of her for 10 years.Updating Stability: You are doing great work author. Quality over Quantity.World background: Full of mystery Satanic stuff. The author is just great at writing dark themes. Would love to see the school arc

    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    okay she is schizophrenic

    "Good." He said, his eyes softening a little. "As you just saw, we aren't exactly human. Rather we are half-demons. Specifically we are Satan's descendants."
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    what?????

    Black horns grew from his head and his eyes started glowing purple, the purple light swirling around his black iris. His gray colored eyes were gone completely. Melina turned to look at her brothers and saw they had turned as well.
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented
    Nervously, she took it, looking at her father. Things were getting quite confusing for her. The family secret isn't about us being in a cult, is it? Melina thought. I know money makes people do weird things but please…
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    Wait what noble, Am i still a peasant??

    It's like sitting at a noble's table, Melina thought as she turned away to stare down at the gold fork in her hand. The cutlery was all gold with a peacock engraved into it.
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    roasted

    "It is. Thank you." Melina replied, looking up from her plate of roast chicken and vegetables.
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    I keep forgetting she is just 16.

    The word 'father' was still a little weird for her to say, especially when referring to James Rana. She had spent ten years calling someone else 'father' so it was a little hard for Melina.
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    hugs are distinct, am I too lonely to know that??

    The embrace felt weirdly familiar like she had hugged this person before. Many times. She closed her eyes, hugging Kai back and feeling and emotion she never knew she was missing. Comfort.
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    Yep the family business

    "It's best if father explains that but it's because of the family business."
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    come you knew it, it was going to happen

    When Melina's cries began to subside, Jason turned to look at her again. He pulled her chin up and wiped her tears gently with his other hand. "I'm sorry about what happened. No one expected it to happen…"
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    this instant family is too sticky

    Jason sighed, ignoring her. Instead, he moved to sit next to her, removing his coat. He covered Melina with it and pulled her into a side hug. Melina was about to cry out in anger when Jason said, "I know you're upset with father but you should know it isn't good to be by yourself. At least let me hold you and try to comfort you as your older brother. I've missed ten years of that. Let me make up for it please."
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    I somehow remember the beauty and Beast running scene here

    Grabbing the French doors, she pulled them open and ran into a beautiful garden. She ran through it until she was exhausted, collapsing near a tree. Panting heavily, she closed her eyes trying to stop the thoughts from coming to her.
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented
    "So, they died because of me." Melina cried harder, not able to see now. She suddenly recalled the day. "That day we were meant to go out for dinner but a school project was keeping me busy. Not wanting to waste the reservation, they went out and got hit but a truck…"
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    So thomas wasn't the step father but he was a step in this guys plan

    "And you couldn't remember what happened because you were the one that found Lisa first. The sight caused you to faint and your brain did a mind block to protect your sanity…." James choked at the last part. "I thought it was best if you believed Margret and Thomas were your real parents so you could have a happy childhood."
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    Well maybe thomas is a step father

    Her birth certificate and looking down to where it said father, she saw James Rana written on it. But her father's name was Thomas…
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    My parents are? you mean were girl. Sorry too I am not good with dark humor 😭

    Melina placed the teacup down in shock. "Brothers!? But I'm an only child. My parents are…"
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    Yep sir just spill the tea... Not literally

    "It is." Melina agreed, taking a purple teacup from Jason. "Everything has been quite confusing and a little scary…"
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented
    "Kai, please." The other said, putting a hand on Kai's shoulder. "Father was probably just explaining everything…"
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented

    midnight black?? I only know one black

    The one had James face and eyes but his hair was midnight black, slightly curling at the ends. He wore street clothes, a t-shirt with ripped jeans. The other has the same build and hair color as James, however, he looked a little like the woman in the portrait with the same blue eyes. His silver hair was shorter than the other but he still looked quite handsome in a suit and long coat similar to James' outfit.
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail
  • Chase_Xavier_123
    Chase_Xavier_1238mth
    Commented
    She stared at James not understanding what was going on. James sighed a little frustrated. "I see Margret and Thomas didn't tell you about me. But I guess it was maybe for the best. As you may have guessed I've got a bit of money…"
    altalt
    The Godfather's Hidden Daughter
    Fantasy · OnikunStudios
    detail