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GrumpyGuy

GrumpyGuy

Lv5
2020-01-13 JoinedGlobal
503.1h

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431
  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy4mth
    Commented

    Cannot imagine a fist strike destroying something behind the intended target. Unless there is some form of aether release “shot” out as extension. Even if the target move out of the way any sane human won’t just continue to attack “until it hits something” as this would require moving extra steps while maintaining the strike direction. When attacking the head of a larger person you are bumping into his body if he just leans back slightly as the arms are not as long.

    Emir narrowly dodged the blow, but the shelf behind him wasn't as lucky, collapsing in a shower of splinters.
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy4mth
    Commented

    Logically - all celestials should be at least combat veterans with quite a lot of fights in their past. Having a certain skills granted by eather doesn’t remove their previous experience and the basic understanding of how combat plays. When someone is very strong and equipped with long range abiliries he should be aware that most if not all enemies will try moving near him to negate some of his arsenal. He should have a response to that. In general learning something new will grant you a big boon of expertise at the start wih little time investment. Becoming proficient or expert usually takes a lot more time. Yet someone who knows tha basics good and is on the defense can be a real problem even for an expert to take in a short time.

    Ch 111 Spell Weaver II
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy4mth
    Commented

    *grumble grumble* shadows are not invisible to the eyes … we can all see them.

    She moved as a shadow, invincible to the naked eye.
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy4mth
    Commented

    All I think is that in such a cruel world each and every hunter have to be thick skinned. Even the very best have a small chance of dying each time he fights so if you make every single encounter into a fight, sooner or later you will die. Few times faster if you are not the best. Smart move would be to hold grudges and act when in safe eplace.

    Ch 108 Beauty
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy4mth
    Commented

    You know what a cliffhanger is? (After the description of the flames) He was dead. Next chapter starts with “Unless …” Would be hilarious!

    Ch 82 Fire
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy6mth
    Replied to GoldenStache

    Put it into the novel for more color, even if its simple like “just like before he was in the ruins…” or small difference from the next room, some filling for the visualisation of the environment.

    Contrary to his expectations, there were no traps on the other side, so he continued his exploration.
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy6mth
    Commented

    What does the room looks like on the other side, a brief explanation would be good.

    Contrary to his expectations, there were no traps on the other side, so he continued his exploration.
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    OLD-WORLD EXTRA
    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy6mth
    Commented

    Poison have expiration date too you know.

    Standing up, he approached the darts and realized that they were poisonous, judging by the smell they emitted. They also had a small laser-like strand protruding out of them, which could've easily gone through his augmented suit's forcefield.
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy6mth
    Commented

    Should consider stating ‘straight’ as different types due to body mechanics can generate different values and are all considered a ‘punch’.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy6mth
    Commented

    Usein Bolt has reached the world record at 44,5 km/h and the average for someone athletic is 31 km/h take that information as you like.

    [Your speed and agility have been significantly enhanced as well. You can run at a top speed of 50 kilometers per hour.] She concluded as she projected a screen in front of Emir's eyes.
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy6mth
    Replied to GoldenStache

    I’m not against the word. Just that you liked it and use it far too often when variation would give it more color.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy6mth
    Replied to GoldenStache

    Yes, but half way in the chapter you stopped and after a while it feels not as tense and a bit relaxed. So, erhaps you should continue even with just a sentence here and there.

    Ch 69 Arcadia's Bazar II
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy6mth
    Commented

    Would Emir be able to cover the parking bill?

    Ch 72 Maze
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy6mth
    Commented

    This chapter feels like walking in a dusty ruin of a mall with a high tech suit and rifle at hand. Perhaps for more eeary atmosphere and suspense you could add some debris and building degradatio.

    Ch 69 Arcadia's Bazar II
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy6mth
    Commented

    What is the design of the bike?

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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy7mth
    Commented

    Sleek you say?

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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy7mth
    Commented

    Fight was good but perhaps next time you could cover in a sentence or two the environment, positioning of covers before the action starts. Something of the like of. MC enters said building there are guards at the main entrence left and right of them is this and that. And besides the MC is this which he thinks he can use as cover. So from his point of view how he moves around from cover to cover, from room to room with a brief description of what he sees.

    Ch 61 Massacre
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy7mth
    Replied to GoldenStache

    Glad to be of help, that was part of my intentions (aside from grumping around)

    This paragraph has been deleted.
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy7mth
    Replied to GoldenStache

    My point was different. You cannot cut through a thick object with a short weapon like a knife. There are multiple reasons - but sharpness is not the issue. The density of the material you cut, the thickness of the blade and the weight matters. Let me put it in another way - a knife that can cut will through bone will be brittle, unless the material which is made of can be durable and flexible when its thickness is few microns. The other way to do it will require extraordinary strength from the user - the knife-wielder will have to be able to push a blade through a piece of wood - after the knife is stuck (you should try it at home, take a knife and try slicing through a thick piece of wood, at some point it's stuck and it doesn't matter how sharp is the blade, the outer edges are stuck into the material and the density of the wood will require immense strength to be able to push the whole knife - slicing is entirely different thing and action, but you won't be able to slice bone with a knife as well. Knife is just too short and the physical restrictions on that are too much. There is a reason why combat knives are used for slicing and stabbing, not for cutting the target.

    Ch 23 Long Night II
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    Fantasy · GoldenStache
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  • GrumpyGuy
    GrumpyGuy7mth
    Replied to GoldenStache

    I'm calm (and grumpy, they are not mutually exclusive). I didn't mean anything bad either, was just clarifying stuff from real world perspective. It's up to you how you like to react to that - you can ignore, take directly or try to softly implement that knowledge in your future works and there is no wrong way to do it. Did not enjoyed the gif, prefer quite activities for a nerd like me, like this one

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