Gabriel_Cabral
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wow, the same author who said he would make a realistic story, makes a totally unrealistic development of this one, never that Mei would be friends with jiraya or anything, because they are from enemy villages and after what happened, apart from that it took her even to care about their team members, hence super forced development. apart from the unrealistic improvements of konohan characters, if all it took to improve was the pressure of someone strong then jonin and kage would be like cabbage. author seems to like konohan a lot
this story started very well but the part of the execution of his parents and a 5 year old was the last straw for me, the author wants to pass on to his readers an emo and edgelord "MC", he simply accepted the death of his mother who took care of him throughout history because she saw that feeling as weakness, the worst thing is seeing all the comments in the chapter supporting these actions. I like to read about "MC" villains, but it has its limits, and the only thing I've seen about "MC" in the story is a pathetic, power-hungry emo, who just because he has feelings gets all BS full, no I know how the webnovel didn't censor this fanfic
I don't even know how to feel, the story was going very well, but here comes the author and makes the mistake of making the "MC" has his powers taken away by the arishem, and his powers like him were made by the OAA, never that arishem it was stronger than OAA, for me this just shows the point that at any moment you can take the power away from the "MC", so what's the point of reading this story? Writing Quality- 4 Stability of Updates- 4 Story Development- 2 Character Design- 2 World Background- 2
first, it's not wanting to belittle your story, because it's very good, but it's wanting to help maintain this quality. first, this desire to travel to another continent was very random, I even found it different from the character of "MC". Second point, having a psychic pokemon at an elite level 4 and still not being able to teleport a small number of 4 or 5 people, I don't know if this was a nerf or simply a huge hole in the script, so I think it's better to rewrite this chapter, because compared to the previous chapters, this one left a bitter taste in the mouth.
author, I understand your point of view, but you also have to understand the reader's. You developed the character and made his development go in one direction, but then suddenly he changes completely, of course the readers wouldn't like it, this new relationship had no development at all, it felt like the author was throwing the character away. It is not even possible to say that there is no way to change the "MC"'s view of moka, because if he still stayed with Ciri, who according to the author was also seen as a "sister/daughter", this only reinforces the idea that that child's development was just a move to take out certain characters, as it destroyed all the development before built. Not to mention that many readers who hated the birth of "MC's" son, the story should still focus on "MC", even more so when you are still so far from the beginning of the story, this child will only spoil the development and relationship of " MC", being proven when he was barely born and already destroyed an entire development of the character and their relationship, which could have been further developed and told more to the reader. my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
author, I understand your point of view, but you also have to understand the reader's. You developed the character and made his development go in one direction, but then suddenly he changes completely, of course the readers wouldn't like it, this new relationship had no development at all, it felt like the author was throwing the character away. It is not even possible to say that there is no way to change the "MC"'s view of moka, because if he still stayed with Ciri, who according to the author was also seen as a "sister/daughter", this only reinforces the idea that that child's development was just a move to take out certain characters, as it destroyed all the development before built. Not to mention that many readers who hated the birth of "MC's" son, the story should still focus on "MC", even more so when you are still so far from the beginning of the story, this child will only spoil the development and relationship of " MC", being proven when he was barely born and already destroyed an entire development of the character and their relationship, which could have been further developed and told more to the reader. my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
This whole chapter was a disappointment, the "MC" has the knowledge of the future, he saw that even though things changed, they still happened in the same way as in the original, but he only starts to worry about it after the damage has already been done, honestly, I think the author wants readers to be mad. because the character's development in these last chapters was zero, the "MC" keeps making mistakes in the same way, and then he keeps blaming himself, but this mistake made him lose all his points, honestly, what a disappointment, he was even enjoying your fanfics.
author, I think it's funny how your MC didn't get any blue potential pokemon "naturally", all were because of the "improvement" of his "farm", here comes the author and sends some "ocs" with 3 or more pokemons with potential blue, I can only laugh at that irony.
wow author, only with the great sage would you have the potential to be the greatest wizard alive, but you will ignore that, i only have wow to say for such ignorance, the author should aim at both a wizard and warrior construction, with great sage its potential is unlimited.
firstly, the author is nerfing a lot of great sage, because only Thought acceleration, analytical evaluation, parallel processing and all the creation would make you the greatest genius of all, because you could learn everything, if not instantly, but very quickly, but mc instead of learning everything he can, he just wants to limit himself, honestly, greater loss of potential, and the mc even comes to emo saying that power is everything but he keeps limiting himself like this, hypocritical and ironic
firstly, the author is nerfing a lot of great sage, because only Thought acceleration, analytical evaluation, parallel processing and all the creation would make you the greatest genius of all, because you could learn everything, if not instantly, but very quickly, but mc instead of learning everything he can, he just wants to limit himself, honestly, greater loss of potential, and the mc even comes to emo saying that power is everything but he keeps limiting himself like this, hypocritical and ironic
Chapter 16 was a huge disappointment and even spoiled the story for me. his "MC" chose to be born from a faction to be free, he even chose the human race and could choose several better races, here comes chapter 16 where you make him become an azazel pawn, man, that just made the previous chapters and your own choice before, becomes a cliche filler for me. and the worst thing is that by his choice he ended up orphaned, human, weak and couldn't even eat for lack of money from the orphanage, but at least he had his freedom, but then you come to me with this one of becoming a pawn of the angels fallen, that at first he made his choice of race and faction, but now seems silly. made me lose interest.
author, let's face it, this fight was a disappointment, a ninetales having to resort to using the z-move to defeat a scyther, it's not even a scizor but a scyther. I expected more from the pokemon that was given by "ROB", as throughout history this pokemon he received was always full of praise, but now as a ninetales, he can't beat this scyther without having to resort to z-move, only disappointment
author, let's face it, we know you want your MC to learn from this loss, but that was too... far-fetched, even more so because of all the training and potential, you only let them rank up after their stats are "ss" or "sss", so there's no reason to lose to a trainer who has pokemons with much worse potencies than yours and who doesn't have all of their "cheats" so to speak, that's why I thought it was unnecessary. if this was your idea of trying to create a rival, I think it's unnecessary, there's no way to have a rival, with all your cheats there's no way anyone can monitor your development, only your farm would help you to be without a rival, imagine the others "cheats" he has, unless out of nowhere he messes up an oc with "author plot armor" stronger than the ash and all the history "MCS" shoune together.
author, i really like your oc rose, but you should think carefully before giving a pokémon with as high potential as that to an oc, especially after all the time it took the MC to get some pairs with good potential and they had good potential because of the farm space, so the author should think carefully before creating these pokemons with great potential for ocs from scratch, because if you keep doing that, it might make your audience angry by these ocs and I'm sure that that's not what you want. another point I want to make is about his training with aura and medium, his talent is supreme and the author wants us to think that the time it takes him to rise through the ranks is fast, but it still feels slow, slow for a supreme talent, he is taking a long time just to reach the high level of line 1 and it hasn't even reached it yet, and look, it's only for mediums, if you continue at this speed I think the most you'll get will be in line 2 or 3 there only for 300 or more chapters and who knows how long, it doesn't seem like a supreme talent, honestly at best it looks like a great talent and that's it. I really like the author's story, but I think you should somehow summarize the information, as there is a chapter that seems to have several moments of information spillage mixed in with the narration, the desire to skip so much information, but other than that it's doing very well. .
author, to be honest, at first I thought his story would be horrible, due to these strange mixtures for the pokemon world, I even dropped it before, but then I decided to give it a try, and that was the right decision, because I loved his story, she's amazing and very well done, keep it up author, can't wait to read more.