webnovel
avatar
1600572188346
Xerstoren

Xerstoren

Lv13

Intento escribir, no se si me sale. I like dulce de leche

2019-05-14 JoinedArgentina
-d

Writing

1.5kh

of reading

454

Read books

Badges

11

Moments

1637
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren2mth
    Posted

    Overall a good fanfic. The characters are well build (Although there's a clear bias for the females) and their interactions ain't weird. Though there's a clear lack of description of their appareances that need to be adressed if the author is thinking on adding more characters later on. The main cast is believable in their context as they fit with the image you may have of saiyans. The world building is okay, it could improve with more rich and livelier details in the description but I can understand that the author, just like myself, don't have english as his first language. There's something that need to be adressed as the atmosphere in the novel isn't grim dark enough. Which is the characteristic seal of warhammer. The update rate is good, which is something I would've wished to had to before (Sorry if there's any reader of my FF, I promise I'll finish them) Now something that really bothered me is that at some point in the novel is clear that either the author rushed or something happened. They way that the novel was heading it was clear that the main cast childhood would've be expanded. This would have been great since a lot of characters in the novel could have shared more spotlight while also adding more difficulty to the Saiyans path. This would have given other saiyans more chances to be in the spotlight and further develop their personalities for us the readers to empathise or hate. While also giving more world buildings to their planet. Something I would recommend the author, it's for showing more what is going on instead of telling. Those actions, conversations and interactions shouldn't be wasted by just passing by in some paragraphs, but further develop and show us the readers. Although it's a more personal recommendation since I love slice of life. Overall, is a solid read among the sea of crap that is the fanfiction zone currently. Although it has it weakness such as the clear lack of deepness into the lore of Warhammer, its nothing too serious to affect the read. Although I would recommend the author to get his ass to work and read what is needed since id the plot thickens, so should be his knowledge. And for those that reached here, and still have some doubts or concerns, just give it a try and see it for yourself, trust me you won't immediately quit after the first chapter. That's all I think, have a good night and cya!

    altalt
    Saiyan in Warhammer
    Anime & Comics · SrDevoxero
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Replied to SebaWest

    Yes, but it's more fit to call him a Pariah since the effect he had is way stronger than what could a simple Blank could produce.

    When he asked to put into words, Syntax made a good euphemism by saying "How would you feel looking at a human without a face, at someone without presence, at a void figure that doesn't reassemble at a anything around it? That's how I feel about you. That's how 'wrong' you are."
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Replied to world_domination

    Part of him is a Pariah.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Replied to NecronFlayedOnes

    Yes.

    Ch 3 A new beginning
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Replied to NecronFlayedOnes

    that was pretty much their formation, and yep those cannibals were part from the cannibal expansion mod.

    "COME YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS, LET ME PAINT MYSELF IN YOUR BLOOD TOO!" I shouted with pure rage as a scrawny cannibal rushed at me.
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Replied to NecronFlayedOnes

    Yeah, pretty much.

    This however didn't last long, as another bandit was quickly dealt with from a curvy figure that seemed to be a companion of the mysterious swordman. The bandit head and forearm rolling in the ground as she moved towards another victim.
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Replied to world_domination

    Although I have an idea of what I would like as the Nation Name, I'm open to ideas if they are better. And about the clans, well, they need some rename before even trying to adopt their clan names (I've already spoiled in the characters sheet)

    His mind, or better said, his circuits were once again running wild with his plans and ambition. Knowing that they were starting from the scratch here, he dare to dream in greatness for his companions.
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Replied to Xerstoren

    After finishing with an initial assessment on the novel, here's my review so far till the latest chapter (8) Grammatically I can't say anything since I suck on the matter and can only complain in works that are out of MTL or Google translate. If your English sucks as much as mine, then you wouldn't have any problem with this novel, it's completely readable and I believe it has good grammar, I don't know to be honest. Then we'll go on the novel pacing; thus far has been great! It never felt rush and the length of each chapters leaves enough room for the author to keep you satisfied at the end of it, only those greedy that wished to rush chapter after chapter would find a complain in that regard. 5/5 in that regard. - Characters; So far they were well depicted, maybe the MC wouldn't be cup of tea from the edgy lord's that seemed to abound this app, but I reckon everyone will be satisfied with him. You can clearly understand that the lad is simple minded, although it has been implied he's a man of culture, it's too early to properly judge in that aspect. Sabine thus far has been perfectly wife material and it's honour me to says that between the various waifus on this site, she's around the top. [Personal rant; Btw I wish my girlfriend was a sister of battle too, but I guess not everyone could be so lucky as the MC] The other minor characters has also been well portrayed and you can imagine them existing in the world depicted by the author. In characters regards I say 4.5/5. not five because I feel envy of the mc. - World building; thus far there isn't too much in this aspect since is well too early in the novel to say something about it, though I have to say that it does feels like it's a novel in Warhammer, the vibes are there, the feeling that something bigger is going on could be felt, and more importantly, the feeling that this should get a happy feeling is there too. Though I really hope this doesn't end like your common Warhammer story. With something tragical in between. 4/5 in this regard, we shall see in the future. Nonetheless, for the fellow degenerates members of the Adeptus Mechanicum, it seems like there will be a slight harem, though is heavily implied that the main girl and the one mc will be spending his last days will be with Sabine, I have raised my expectations to see him plowing some bunny in the future. That's all I have to report to you my fellow brothers, see you in another Warhammer work in the future!

    altalt
    Never Give a Yandere a Bolter
    Video Games · Daddy
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Commented
    Then she motioned with her right hand "And this lady here is Hatsune Minami, we would be the ones that talk with you all if that's not much." She asked while giving a small but nervous smile.
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Commented

    Asa

    "Before we continue with this conversation, I wish to present ourselves, my name is Shigure Asa, and I'm the wife of the village Chief." The lady raised her voice as she motioned with her hand to her left.
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Commented

    Rumiii

    One of the group had an ashamed blush on her face. Sabine assumed she was the one who snorted. She also appeared to be the leader of the group given the way the rest of the Abhumans seemed to defer to her. She had skin the color of milk chocolate, white hair (including her rabbit ears), and red eyes. She was attractive, Sabine noted, in a sort of 'masculine-femininity' way. The flimsy yellow top she wore looked more like swimwear than clothing but it revealed the woman's toned musculature and hugged her assets, leaving very little to the imagination. The same could be said about those denim shorts she wore and the shredded thighs that were under them.
    altalt
    Never Give a Yandere a Bolter
    Video Games · Daddy
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Replied to world_domination

    😂

    'Blonde woman!? Crap it seemed that they've been here before.' Otto suddenly worried knowing his fellow villager attitude and how the samurai seemed to be petty against her. Still, he raised his head again and nodded towards them while quickly jumping at his carriage, and soon after, leaving the battle zone.
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Commented
    "Beep thinks this was easy! Spiders are harder than them!" he suddenly heard the mysterious swordman beep with a joyful voice, seemingly uncaring of the butcher that he delivered today.
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren10mth
    Commented

    Btw this is a Komusō, so you can imagine Beep.

    The Komusō Samurai and his gang.
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren11mth
    Commented

    way better than gene stealers

    Paradoxically, Sabine relaxed a bit now that she could see the threat, "Ah, a Catachan Devil… I wonder if it hitched a ride here on some ship or if some idiot tried to introduce it to this Hive for some nonsense reason…"
    altalt
    Never Give a Yandere a Bolter
    Video Games · Daddy
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren11mth
    Commented

    oh fuck don't tell me there's also genestealers there💀

    Both of them tried their best to put the morbid contents of this cavernous room out of their minds. And in the process of trying to find anything else to focus on, Sabine started to hear something off coming from inside the walls. It sounded like the skittering of some kind of large creature or insect, interspersed with a harsh hissing sound that chilled even Sabine's battle-hardened blood.
    altalt
    Never Give a Yandere a Bolter
    Video Games · Daddy
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren11mth
    Commented
    Eventually, Octus' delirious mumbles got to Sabine. They were as entertaining as they were worrying. He was saying things she could barely make out. Like things about the "spooky skelly man" and "evil space chicken" and other complete nonsense that Sabine couldn't make heads or tails from. In particular, he kept going on about "Sisters in thigh highs" and "holy zettai ryoiki"… Whatever that meant.
    altalt
    Never Give a Yandere a Bolter
    Video Games · Daddy
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren11mth
    Commented

    There's this thing that I believe would help you ","

    Ch 14 Chapter 14 Little Spider
    altalt
    MARVEL: I AM TOAA GRANDSON
    Anime & Comics · Phelio_n_Craze
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren11mth
    Replied to Xerstoren
    Tenrai Ryūji: A 15 years old greenlander from Okran's Valley, lost his farm during a cannibal attack. He became a cannibal hunter since young age and formed his own squadron after saving Manin in the cannibal plains.
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail
  • Xerstoren
    Xerstoren11mth
    Commented
    Toro: A bull that joined the group while travelling towards the Shek Kingdom, unofficially the real fifth member. He's pretty much calm for a bull and his size. He likes to sleep a lot.
    altalt
    Shinobi Squad From Hell
    Anime & Comics · Xerstoren
    detail