A good read altogether. Quality writing as always!

haha, Busteeeeeeed!

Assemble!

YEAA! know you're busy but keep this going aswell!

okeyy, I'll be looking forward to see how you pull it off

Hmmm.. I feel like someone who was just a regular highschool girl before this all happened would've long caved in to get the pearl removed or atleast when threatened with her family that can't defend itself. Feel like actual spies would spill everything from less torture tbh

ouch!

yea!

V much a fun read, cosmic! Love the world building you have so far. There were some scenes with matt and xerxes that I thought might get corny but you made it work somehow without getting to that point

Gendo Ikari had me ded

Ahaha

Thanks for the chapter

Ha, I doubt they're gonna think you're a disgrace regardless of which branch of chemistry you go into. (Unless it's the breaking bad route) and for sure, I'd be glad to share the progress of my novel once I've fleshed it out abit more and start publishing it. I still spend most of my free hours on animation, so it'll be p slow progress. Good thing is, I know how it ends. which is a helpful guiding factor to speed things up.

Haha, sounds sassy. I'll check it out! Also Bio majorrr!.. sounds like alot of sleepless nights and cramming to me. Goodluck! . As for me, I'm a digital 2d Animator and Artist. I've basically self-learnt everything so I don't really have any connections in the community but I'm gonna start job hunting p soon here in Islamabad. I've always loved telling stories and was actually planning on becoming a writer before I discovered Animation and found out I could literally throw people into my world detail for detail how I imagined it. haha. Recently tho! I found an old draft of mine for a Webnovel and realised I had never stopped brainstorming that story, so decided to start writing again and am working on a Webnovel of my own on the side rn, tho it's all still in the drafting stage.

(tell me about it, I've always hoped for a desi Webnovel community to blossom but it never happened.) Also.. YOU HAVE OTHER WORK? Is it published yet? or did you mean like.. the other kind of work. haha. and ofc good luck with your studies! Are you a english or lit major?

Heyooo! Azadi Mubarak! You liked my comment so i came to check out your stuff. Only to be pleasantly surprised by the amount of polish you've put in your work. Only a prologue so I cant't really say too much, but I think your're on the right track to success. Hopefully what you're doing right now is getting a backlog together so that once you start formally publishing chapters, you can stay ahead while still keeping a good schedule. If you're not, that's totally fine too, just get the ball moving. Can't wait to see where you take this

haha yea i noticed it was a new account, seeing you read your first webnovel and instantly start writing your own made me realise how I've just been making artificial barriers for myself when iwish to write a novelThanks for unknowingly inspiring me, looking forward to see how you bring your ideas to fruition!

Heyoo! Nice to see a fellow Pakistani Webnovel Enthusiast! Although I see you're new to this side of literature, new authors who wanna try out web novels are always welcome in the community as they can bring in something new and unique to the table, rather than rehashing the same old tropes in a new context. I've gone through the Novel (currently 9 chapters as of writing this) and will be giving you some feedbacks and criticisms from the point of view of someone who's been in the web novel sphere for a quite a while now and is well versed in English as a first language as well as classic literature, if that's alright with you. If that isn't and if any of my feedback feels insulting to you, you can tell me quietly and I'll remove it. I'm not here to offend you or make you feel bad for trying something new and quit.OK, now that we've got that out of the way. I'll tell you what you're doing right. like I mentioned before, since you're new. you're also bringing something new to the table. At least from what I can tell, you're not outright copying a story you read just with a self insert character this time. which is something that alot of beginners end up doing subconsciously. So your plot being unique is your first plus.Secondly, the way you brought in the classic Muqalma/dialogue format that pak schools love to teach, and implemented it into your story ch 2 onwards is something I've yet to see in Webnovel formats tbh. Ofcourse, novelty doesn't automatically make something better, that's something that depends on how the author takes advantage of the new gates this novel method opens for them, and how good the execution of the method itself is. simply being out of the box isn't enough, you need to justify it with competence.In your case, the play dialogue format has some advantages and disadvantages.The advantage is that the conversation is uninterrupted, snappy and quick. Less fluff for the reader to go through.Disadvantages are that it's a little bit less readable without extra formatting. you'll have to BOLD or CAPITALISE your names so that they stand out. Also you can't show emotions in which the dialogue is said, without fully committing to the Scriptwriter/Play Dialogue formatting. for example:Usually what you'll see is:Max replied shakily, "Yeah.. sure". "Nice!" exclaimed Sarah. Happy that she got what she wanted.If you want to convey the same message in your style. you'd probably have to do something like this everytime.MAX: (Voice Shaking) "Yeah.. sure."SARAH: (Excited) "Nice!"Sarah was happy she got what she wanted.-------------Both are abit different and achieve slightly different results in how the emotion is delivered to the reader.On a slightly different but related note, as I've pointed out in one of the paragraphs, your Current usage of brackets seems abit scattered. There are many a times where you'd be better off just replacing those with a comma as it would seem more natural. Especially in the paragraph format parts that occur outside the Dialogue. Going with regular conventions might be key.Other than that you're killing it, I'd recommend getting someone you know who's more experienced in English Literature, to be your proofreader or editor. Simply having another pair of eyes go through it can help you avoid do many silly typos or grammatical errors. Alternatively, if you can't find someone, you could always come back to old chapters preferably once you've written at least 20 chapters and rework them with the new and improved sense you have after writing so many chapters.That's another thing you'll grow to love about writing web novels. You'll feel yourself improve overtime. Especially when you come back to one you wrote a couple years ago.So Keep Going on this journey. I wish you the best of luck! Happy Writing!

Really Nice, you have layed down some good seeds that could later turn into your base for creating conflicts and resolution. My favourite one of which would be the op magical medicine. If something ever happened to someone she knows irl, it'sdbe interesting to see how her efforts to save them will effect her relationships, whether it's that she gets rejected to use it on mortals, or she uses it but it doesn't work and she needs to realise she can't save everybody. our she does save them, but they end up finding out her secret in the process. Endless possibilities whichever way you wish to take it. Both your story and style are unique so I'm sure soon enough, when you've built up a good amount of chapters more and more people will start to check it out.Keep writing!

Haha, I didn't expect the dialogue to suddenly shift into a Muqalma type format this chapter. I do like it though, never seen this before in a Webnovel. Lets's keep it goin!