Hi author and potential readers. This is my first ever review that I have done for a web novel. The reason I am doing this is because this web novel has so much potential but there are things that need to be addressed. Note that I have only read the first 10 chapters and that there will be spoilers for readers but mostly advice for the author. *Author you should delete this review afterwards because this is more or less constructive criticism to help with improvements on the book. From what I have read, the ideas and concepts are great. However, there is no mystery in the story, since you give us all the extra information that could have been foreshadowed or mentioned in future chapters as the story develops. For example, you do not need to talk about his original family background when it isn’t necessary and the MC is oblivious to it. By mentioning everything already kills the excitement and mystery that the web novel has. The MC should be discovering this piece of information at the same time as the readers. I would recommend rewriting the first couple of chapters and or deleting his parent’s and clan’s perspective; unless you can find a way to still keep the mystery without giving away too much. Other than that, it should not be there. The other perspectives, such as, Purple and Grey’s are unique because it is does not give too much away other than Purple’s connection to Earth and provides potential character introduction in the future. In addition the MC’s development seems too be a bit rushed. There should be some filler information which helps with the character and story development and is present to the current event/situation, even if it is boring or slow. A slow start that can be descriptive and help readers get into the book will make it more enjoyable and looking forward to read later on (You can even put a note of it being a slow start in the description of the book). Overall, this book has the potential to be a great read and a highly rated book but, there is alot that needs to be improved on before that.

Nova didn’t feel any pressure on him.* Continuous uses of commas (unless used for a list of items) can make the sentence wordy and difficult to read.

children* Children is already plural. Another word that couldbe used is ‘kids’.

Nova’s*

. After*

first,*

If you are using a question mark, you are indicating the end of the sentence. If you plan to continue the sentence with a list of questions, use a comma instead and then put the question mark at the end of the sentence.

‘for about’ would work better in the sentence if you were mentioning the duration of the ability (length of time) instead of the amount of times you can use the ability (I.e., for about 20 minutes).

‘for about’ sounds wordy and does not need to be in the sentence.

Is it one or two seconds? I think its best to chose one or the other in this situation.

may not find*

I think you meant ”filed” not filled.

No, this is Patrick

nice, count me in…

…

I knew when clicking thIs paragraph i would see gifs of naruto 😂😂

Nice

‘Were’ does not need to be there :)