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Isaac_Van

Isaac_Van

Lv2
2019-07-11 JoinedGlobal
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13
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Commented

    Shouldn't she be able to regain biological energy from bio mass like meat and plants?

    Ch 40 Hellfire Invasion (5): Fight for the tower
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Commented

    The reading flow has become a lot smoother and the variation in sentence structure makes it more enjoyable to read. Well done.

    Ch 39 Hellfire Invasion(4): The Watchtower
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Commented

    I really want to see how she will try to benefit from this situation.

    Ch 38 Hellfire Invasion (3): Fighting Retreat
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Commented

    So, this is only a suggestion but if you were able to make less "I" sentences and paraphrase them into other ones that would bring variety into the reading flow.

    Ch 34 Gun to her cheek
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Commented

    Will she have a passie mental shield? You know ,against the demons and mind contol in general. Also, her cynical view on them? Absolutely love it. Just wanted to point out there were some minor comma mistakes but nothing too serious.

    Ch 33 Titans and Acclimatisation
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Replied to FrikandelSpeciaal

    Ok, thanks.

    Ch 31 A Transfer and a Meeting
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Commented

    I am not quiet familiar with the DC time line but will she meet the young justice when she is older?

    Ch 31 A Transfer and a Meeting
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Replied to Luca_Checcoli

    Personally I think that would make her just like the rest of those other stories and would take the originality out of it. I belive the majority of people are reading this story precisely because the synopsis implies that she will become a villain with a backround of having known the super heroes personally as a child.

    Ch 30 Bits and pieces/Meeting a God
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Commented

    I would like to ask again, if she will deal or prepare with some kind of magic in the future. Since we can basically categorise it to science and magic, she should be prepared to deal with Dr Fate or possibly Witch boy and the like in the future. Nice chapter btw and it was longer than usual.

    Ch 29 To become a hero, as if.
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Commented

    Will she interact with magic one day? You know to cover her potential weaknesses with science and magic. Nice first blood though.

    Ch 27 A world of capes and masks (11-Final)
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Commented

    The kids acting out and trying to save others was really annoying to read. But it means you wrote it well.

    Ch 22 A world of capes and masks(6)
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Commented

    Her self-awareness of being only a minute excistance in the grand scheme of things really is making this interesting. But could you quickly say again what her ability is?

    Ch 21 A world of capes and masks(5)
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail
  • Isaac_Van
    Isaac_Van1yr
    Commented

    How about telekinisis? I think it could have a lot of potential to evolve in the future without it being too overpowered.

    Ch 3 Meet the family
    altalt
    [DC] Keep your head down!
    Anime & Comics · SthUnlimted
    detail