Crimson12
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Crimson122mthCommentedIt’s starting instead of it’s start
It's start. That was what Quon Hou Chi thought right now. This was probably their true aim.- Crimson124mthCommented
Change to your highness, majesty is referred to a king or queen , highness is for princes, princesses.
"You and your knights are welcome to explore my city but if you would please excuse me, duty calls" Ethan said. "Then I must beg my leave Your Majesty" Luna bowed and left. - Crimson125mthCommented
Princes and Princesses
Of course, the most noticeable electronics were the Game Boy/Girl that was given to the princess and princess to test out. Hell, they were so engrossed in it that they didn't even want to talk to anyone else anymore. - Crimson126mthCommented
Li Jinnian is in the navy and the equivalent rank to the army which is Lieutenant Colonel is Lieutenant Commander. Also what rank is Ye Jian? I remember at Grandpa Gen’s funeral she wore Captain epaulets. Also is Commander Xia chief of the army a 5 star general?
However, his uncle made it very clear that his cousin was too young to fall in love early. Hence… Lieutenant Colonel Li, who didn't want Ye Jian to get married early either, smiled slightly and silently dragged his future cousin-in-law down. "Uncle, you make sense. It's indeed not suitable for my cousin to fall in love early. - Crimson121yrCommented
‘Out of fear’, not out of afraid.
They glanced at Yu Qi and the nurse. The nurse kept a close distance between her and Yu Qi. She almost grabbed Yu Qi out of afraid. - Crimson121yrCommented
Term instead of Teen
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Contraption instead of contraction
Airports have been built in the other empires... Mysterious news and propaganda had already exploded, but no one knew what the bloody contraction would be. - Crimson122yrCommented
Nobles*
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I think the generic term of Magic Swordsman suits better than Spellblade. Or you could have a spin if that concept. Whatever suits you best.
[Spellblade - Class - Crimson122yrCommented
*inform
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Harem*
The queen held their 13-year-old daughter tightly while watching the rain of the many massive yellowish flames pop out now and then from various corners around the outskirts of haram. - Crimson122yrCommented
Couldn’t instead of could.
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Portion not position and while not whole.
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'She wasn't sick!'
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what not, not why not.[img=recommend]
Some were on cleaning duty, others were on cooking duty and why not. - Crimson123yrCommented
'Today was the 4th day of training, revising their plans, preparing their weapons and everything else needed for the upcoming battle.' I edited this paragraph for you. I believe that this sounds better. I also suggest using programs like Grammarly (not promoting) for editing.
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