You're welcome :)

This was truly refreshing to read. It's "warm" it puts a smile in your face. My biggest issue is the writing, that needs polishing in both structure-wise, and how the style itself in the sense of pacing-flow. For this I recommend you to read more known books, like The Name of the Wind. I hope you go well with your story, all in all, keep up the good work.

Tip: when its thoughts, use the 'italic' in the editor, because its known globally to indicate thoughts

Tip: "Calling a mother to her child to have breakfast" sounds a bit weird, maybe: In fact, you don't need this sentence for two motives: Mother is already mentioned in the dialogue, and breakfast too.

That was fun to read, it kinda reminds me the old times where I was in the lan houses, playing Mu, Counter Strike, and having that competition. It has room for improvement, in the overall aspects of the novel, but nothing a good rewrite don't fix it. Keep up the good work, miss Orange :)

That girl healer sounds like a psychopath trying to charm her victim xD

This reminds my time playing Mu online back then

Good start! Keep it up :)

Thank you <3

thank you :) and I'll do the same for yours

Thanks, UelUel :)

More like the background music of a child almost dying xD, thanks for the comment

[From: The Best Review Swap - Proofreading and Feedback] Since it has only two chapter, I couldn't deep more in the story, however there are some point that could be improved: - The POV is really confusing sometimes. Often I'm confuse if its a narrator or the MC, its seem you mixed Third Person Point of View with First Person Point of View. I recommend to review it, because otherwise it would be a blocker for some readers. All in all, keep up the good work :)

[review]: "Under the peerless sun sat a man" I would suggest to use a metaphor for this. Like: "Beneath the relentless sun, a solitary figure rested, his duration of stay a mystery to all. His gaze appeared shielded from the harsh sunlight that pierced the air around him, casting an enigmatic aura over the scene."

[From: The Best Review Swap - Proofreading and Feedback] There is few chapters for me to form a good feedback about the story itself, so I'll focus on other points that could be reviewed to improve even more this novel. Writing Quality: It lacks three important points, structure of the sentences, remove redundancy and adjust the pacing, flow. What I mean by that is: The flow is somewhat disrupted by complex sentences that might require unpacking. Shorter, punchier sentences could be used to punctuate the MC's stark realizations and inner thoughts could be a good way to do it. Stability of Updates: I don't really judge this part, because myself have problems with this xD. Story Development: With only two chapters I can't judge it, but its showing a good premisse. Character Design: Good point here, in the second chapter. With the First POV, its a good way to describe and give more flesh to the character.

nice chapter!

Breakdown this paragraph in two/three others, readers from WN usually likes when paragraphs isn't big-sized.

She is a menace xD

[review] Try to be more concise in you writing, example: Despite numerous attempts, the girl found no solace in the offices of countless psychologists. In her dimly lit room, she sat on her bed, fixating on the adjacent wall, an air of anticipation surrounding her. This routine persisted, day after monotonous day, until her long-lost relatives, informed of her location, finally sought permission to visit.

Tip: breakdown long paragraphs, and, "hearing the words" isn't the best way to call it on. Like: "Upon hearing the ominous proclamation of "the cleaners are coming," the citizens couldn't help but question the validity of their own ears."