This is me, yep
Not good... I normally like to give in-depth reviews, but this doesn't deserve that. If this is an apology to women in China, then it makes a little sense. I'm hoping the author will use what they've learned from this to make a better novel next time.
It's about Count Agist and Lillica, but that doesn't mean that they are exclusively together. I explain more about what Lillica is after a little bit later. He knows what is going on, and saying they slept with the knights is a little extreme since Lorraina only sleeps with the 2 brothers and Lillica "helps" Morgan. Lillica makes it clear to Morgan that her help is just that and nothing more and even talks to Count Agist about it in Chapter 18 (If I remember correctly) I do agree that the world is a little hard to understand since we only ever experience 3 named locations, The Count's estate, Farmington, and Flint, as of the first volume. (Yes, we are briefly introduced to the capital in the last chapter of volume 1 and another no-named village, but its name isn't important.) I should probably try and give the world a brief overview then since we only some vague locations to go on.
I've hinted already that Isadora isn't a virgin, but I haven't said how she lost it. Honestly, I've been thinking about changing what I had planned originally because everyone seems to want happy stories nowadays. Also, he never defiles her, just absorbs the energy she gives off through her pain and merely touches her ankle. (Next chapter might make it up to you)
Feel free to claim all of them... unless one has already been claimed.
No, everyone gets with everyone. Lorraina is very... open about her sexuality so she sleeps around much more than Lillica. Lillica only uses it as a means to an end and makes sure that Agist knows about it when she does it with anyone she doesn't kill. I attempt to do girl-on-girl, but I admit that since I am a guy, my experience with that is lacking.
No problem, I lost track of where I was so I was re-reading portions of it and thought it was strange that twins would have different ages.
Sorry if my review sounds harsh, by no means do I want you to feel discouraged. I try to be as critical as possible since almost every single review I see on WebNovel is "It's GR8 PLZ RD LOLZ!" followed by 5 stars. I gave my own novel a 3.4 even so I try to give an unbiased honest review.
How can they be twins yet have different ages?
Serious review for a not-so-serious novel. The Good: I do love science-fiction! I also really enjoy it when a novel doesn't take itself seriously. We also have a wide array of characters to pick from that makes it rather fun! The Bad: Grammar is horrendous at times, but it does start to improve in the later chapters. I feel like this is a collection of short stories without any story. I'm a little confused by the chapters all using the same names over and over, but I think the author is trying to indicate which 'story' we're in. The Neutral: What is going on? Where is this story going? Will these unique stories tie together somehow later? I feel like a lot is going on, but I can't grasp any of it...
Liam's speaking part and McKenna's actions should be separated a little more since this makes it look like Mckenna is saying thank you to herself.
I understand that both Liam and Ian are her brothers, but the way you switch subjects in this makes it confusing in my opinion.
"I'd love to" (Assuming you want to keep it informal)
The Good: The author does an excellent job of showing the reader how the Female Lead's eyes look from the very beginning. The grammar itself is accurate without many glaring mistakes. The story itself isn't anything unique, but the author still does a great job of adding enough variety that it feels unique. The Bad: While we get an excellent description of the Female Lead's eyes, only the female lead gets this treatment leaving us wondering what everyone else looks like. The grammar may be done well from a technical standpoint, but it is very hard to read with several long paragraphs making it feel like a wall of text. The first chapter alone only has a single spoken line. The Neutral: You have an interesting world starting to form and if the reader can piece together the hints, it does appear to be a fantasy realm with magic. It's probably just me, but try revealing it a little faster. I also do not like when you change the subject in the same paragraph. It can make the subject very unclear when you use 'he' or 'she' a lot. For example: "Adam ran home. Billy ran with him. He stopped by his mother's house on the way home." I switched from the subject of Adam to Billy, then back to Adam, but it is very unclear that I did so to the average reader. In this case, I would rewrite it to make Adam the consistent subject throughout "Adam ran home with Billy. He stopped at his mother's house on the way home." Says the same thing, but it is much more definitive that Adam is the 'He' in the second sentence.
Really appreciate the review! I love getting in-depth reviews as it feels like you took the time to read the novel and tell me what you think. I truly appreciate these kinds of reviews!
In my mind, I was picturing Tinkerbell (Peter Pan) with Midna's personality (Zelda Twilight Princess) and Navi's (Zelda Ocarina of Time) propensity to annoy people.
He tried throwing one of the priest's bodies into the circle and got nothing out of it already.