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LordSputnik

LordSputnik

Lv5

This is me, yep

2018-06-14 JoinedUnited States
-d

Writing

7.4h

of reading

318

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13

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178
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik6mth
    Posted

    Not good... I normally like to give in-depth reviews, but this doesn't deserve that. If this is an apology to women in China, then it makes a little sense. I'm hoping the author will use what they've learned from this to make a better novel next time.

    altalt
    New Father: Empress Appearing On My Doorstep With Our Daughters
    Eastern Fantasy · Cloud Fire Pheonix
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik7mth
    Replied to Nite_nite

    Lost my muse for a bit, trying to get it back. I had a place where I wanted this story to go, but as usual, the story decided to go somewhere else.

    Ch 48 New Beginnings
    altalt
    Lust, Power, & Desire [R-18+]
    Fantasy · LordSputnik
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik10mth
    Commented

    MCs product?

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    The Mind World And The Outcast Hero
    Fantasy · Prince_nonchalant
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  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Replied to Sesshomaru_

    It's about Count Agist and Lillica, but that doesn't mean that they are exclusively together. I explain more about what Lillica is after a little bit later. He knows what is going on, and saying they slept with the knights is a little extreme since Lorraina only sleeps with the 2 brothers and Lillica "helps" Morgan. Lillica makes it clear to Morgan that her help is just that and nothing more and even talks to Count Agist about it in Chapter 18 (If I remember correctly) I do agree that the world is a little hard to understand since we only ever experience 3 named locations, The Count's estate, Farmington, and Flint, as of the first volume. (Yes, we are briefly introduced to the capital in the last chapter of volume 1 and another no-named village, but its name isn't important.) I should probably try and give the world a brief overview then since we only some vague locations to go on.

    altalt
    Lust, Power, & Desire [R-18+]
    Fantasy · LordSputnik
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Replied to Squirrel_Protector

    I've written worse. Not sure if I should be proud of that or not.

    Ch 4 How to take care of your Ax [R-18+]
    altalt
    Lust, Power, & Desire [R-18+]
    Fantasy · LordSputnik
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Replied to Eje_Cecilia_Alo

    I've hinted already that Isadora isn't a virgin, but I haven't said how she lost it. Honestly, I've been thinking about changing what I had planned originally because everyone seems to want happy stories nowadays. Also, he never defiles her, just absorbs the energy she gives off through her pain and merely touches her ankle. (Next chapter might make it up to you)

    Ch 20 Nightmare
    altalt
    Lust, Power, & Desire [R-18+]
    Fantasy · LordSputnik
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Replied to SingleHamster

    No problem, when you delete it, that will let me know when to give it another go.

    altalt
    Tales of the Rebirth Apocalypse Emperor
    LGBT+ · SingleHamster
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Replied to bagelguyofficial

    Feel free to claim all of them... unless one has already been claimed.

    __________
    altalt
    Lust, Power, & Desire [R-18+]
    Fantasy · LordSputnik
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Replied to LORDFIFTH

    No, everyone gets with everyone. Lorraina is very... open about her sexuality so she sleeps around much more than Lillica. Lillica only uses it as a means to an end and makes sure that Agist knows about it when she does it with anyone she doesn't kill. I attempt to do girl-on-girl, but I admit that since I am a guy, my experience with that is lacking.

    Ch 7 Endless Pleasure [R-18+]
    altalt
    Lust, Power, & Desire [R-18+]
    Fantasy · LordSputnik
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Replied to Aeipathy_02

    No problem, I lost track of where I was so I was re-reading portions of it and thought it was strange that twins would have different ages.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    HAPPY EVER AFTER
    Fantasy Romance · Aeipathy_02
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Replied to etnrednal

    Sorry if my review sounds harsh, by no means do I want you to feel discouraged. I try to be as critical as possible since almost every single review I see on WebNovel is "It's GR8 PLZ RD LOLZ!" followed by 5 stars. I gave my own novel a 3.4 even so I try to give an unbiased honest review.

    altalt
    The Serious Series Spacenovel
    Sci-fi · etnrednal
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Commented

    How can they be twins yet have different ages?

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    HAPPY EVER AFTER
    Fantasy Romance · Aeipathy_02
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Posted

    Serious review for a not-so-serious novel. The Good: I do love science-fiction! I also really enjoy it when a novel doesn't take itself seriously. We also have a wide array of characters to pick from that makes it rather fun! The Bad: Grammar is horrendous at times, but it does start to improve in the later chapters. I feel like this is a collection of short stories without any story. I'm a little confused by the chapters all using the same names over and over, but I think the author is trying to indicate which 'story' we're in. The Neutral: What is going on? Where is this story going? Will these unique stories tie together somehow later? I feel like a lot is going on, but I can't grasp any of it...

    altalt
    The Serious Series Spacenovel
    Sci-fi · etnrednal
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Commented

    Liam's speaking part and McKenna's actions should be separated a little more since this makes it look like Mckenna is saying thank you to herself.

    ": Thank you, McKenny!" I smiled and placed a soft kiss on his head.
    altalt
    Secret Love
    Contemporary Romance · CodeyVanilla
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Commented

    I understand that both Liam and Ian are her brothers, but the way you switch subjects in this makes it confusing in my opinion.

    I was unconscious for a month and woke up with most memories gone. I didn't remember anyone except my brother, Ian. My mom gave birth to Liam a month after I woke up from coma. Seeing him so small and cute made me want to remember the beautiful memories I had with my family.
    altalt
    Secret Love
    Contemporary Romance · CodeyVanilla
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Commented

    "I'd love to" (Assuming you want to keep it informal)

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    altalt
    Secret Love
    Contemporary Romance · CodeyVanilla
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Posted

    The Good: The author does an excellent job of showing the reader how the Female Lead's eyes look from the very beginning. The grammar itself is accurate without many glaring mistakes. The story itself isn't anything unique, but the author still does a great job of adding enough variety that it feels unique. The Bad: While we get an excellent description of the Female Lead's eyes, only the female lead gets this treatment leaving us wondering what everyone else looks like. The grammar may be done well from a technical standpoint, but it is very hard to read with several long paragraphs making it feel like a wall of text. The first chapter alone only has a single spoken line. The Neutral: You have an interesting world starting to form and if the reader can piece together the hints, it does appear to be a fantasy realm with magic. It's probably just me, but try revealing it a little faster. I also do not like when you change the subject in the same paragraph. It can make the subject very unclear when you use 'he' or 'she' a lot. For example: "Adam ran home. Billy ran with him. He stopped by his mother's house on the way home." I switched from the subject of Adam to Billy, then back to Adam, but it is very unclear that I did so to the average reader. In this case, I would rewrite it to make Adam the consistent subject throughout "Adam ran home with Billy. He stopped at his mother's house on the way home." Says the same thing, but it is much more definitive that Adam is the 'He' in the second sentence.

    altalt
    The Book of Us
    Fantasy Romance · EmilythompsonP
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Replied to alienfrommars

    Really appreciate the review! I love getting in-depth reviews as it feels like you took the time to read the novel and tell me what you think. I truly appreciate these kinds of reviews!

    altalt
    Erase Me
    Fantasy · LordSputnik
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Replied to alienfrommars

    In my mind, I was picturing Tinkerbell (Peter Pan) with Midna's personality (Zelda Twilight Princess) and Navi's (Zelda Ocarina of Time) propensity to annoy people.

    The fairy yawned and stretched as she sat up in the box while the other knights were getting angry for some reason. She then looked at Lord Martin and said cheerfully "I am glad to finally be out of that box! Seriously! I know it's for the good of all, but man is it boring waiting for that long!"
    altalt
    Erase Me
    Fantasy · LordSputnik
    detail
  • LordSputnik
    LordSputnik1yr
    Replied to FantasyBliss30

    He tried throwing one of the priest's bodies into the circle and got nothing out of it already.

    The knight jumped then moved cautiously towards the magic circle. It didn't appear to be activated, but he still took his time to reach one leg out and tap one foot inside the circle. He closed his eyes anticipating some sort of trap and the breathed a sigh of relief when nothing happened.
    altalt
    Erase Me
    Fantasy · LordSputnik
    detail