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the way you set the scene gives too much detail on other characters. like the waiter in this chapter.there really was no point in explaining how pretty she was since she isn't a main plot character. also, not over explaining character appearance can help readers get a mental image they like more. since not many people have the same "taste". I do think your story has good potential. so I'm not trying to be mean or anything. just an observation.
aww roundy is so eager to learn
grammar error on the "5o"