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Jade_Theif

Jade_Theif

Lv14

Avid reader and writer.

2018-02-02 JoinedUnited States
1kh

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4
  • Jade_Theif
    Jade_Theif7mth
    Posted

    The story idea had potential, however, the MC experiences far too little wholesome development. It feels too shallow and most of the development is pointless to what a riveting story would entail.

    altalt
    Manaless Mage
    Fantasy · Gladstone_
    detail
  • Jade_Theif
    Jade_Theif2yr
    Posted

    Honestly although quite wordy at times, the story is decently written. The mc is what I have a hard time believing. Now if it wasn't a transmigration story and the kid grew up in a home where he was pandered to and he had gained a very disdaining attitude towards pretty much everyone, then I can definitely see him being the character that he is now. It feels as if everyone but him is an idiot or a sycophant in his viewpoint. This could be a legitimate character that grows by discovering that he is not the center of the universe and that people generally don't like teenagers with explosive mood swings no matter how intelligent or handsome they may be. He could learn tact and humility for starters.

    altalt
    Primordial Dimensions
    Fantasy · HideousGrain
    detail
  • Jade_Theif
    Jade_Theif3yr
    Posted

    Very unique idea that the repressed memories of his past self have to be unlocked to gain skills that he already had in the future. The concern I have is what happens when he reaches equilibrium with his past knowledge? Even he states that he didn't get very far due to a past injury that is now resolved in this time line. Where will the new knowledge cone from once he has reached his previous peak?

    altalt
    Oh My God! Earthlings are Insane!
    Sci-fi · The Enlightened Master Crouching Cow
    detail
  • Jade_Theif
    Jade_Theif3yr
    Posted

    Very well designed. The story really draws you in with the unique mutated ability of the main character. His moral compass is also a bit refreshing since he doesn't seem to agonize too much and over think of the consequences of his actions. I mean he thinks but doesn't seem to overly care about being seen as perfectly good.

    altalt
    Grandson of the Holy Emperor is a Necromancer
    Urban · Shadow-kun
    detail