Sunestro
I’m okay I guess. My mom likes me!
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The clothing being modest is a good choice, but the drink being juice is silly. Like kids have never seen any adult around them drink alcohol.
That's a pretty huge jump in logic and plot points! He was struggling to get any kind of point balance and was running low on funds, but somehow managed to make 10 times his original bank account balance at the beginning of the story, and 13k+ points in the 5-6 days he was there from the system? The mission to get Kay Lee to be his gf only rewards him with 10k, right??
I'm really enjoying the plot! But in my opinion, Jayce is not acting like someone with 10 years of experience. It is understandable that he has added pressure and possibly has never been in a leadership position before, but when the monster fell, he was part of everyone that just stopped and stared at it? especially when he was the only one with a weapon that could actually cut past the skin? It seems like Colin should be the MC half the time at this point
I'm enjoying the plot, but so far, this story is lacking on the details severely. There will be a paragraph long description of fog, but there's no natural break in the reading to tell you the scene has shifted, someone took a hit from an attack, or even when someone is walking somewhere. Other than that I am very much enjoying this story!
Maybe 😂