Itachi2K3
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henlo
I genuinely love the concept behind this, and the story in general. The reason for the 4-stars instead of 5, however, is the author's lack of proper punctuation. There are a great deal of run on sentences, and not nearly enough punctuation to even everything out. It's like the difference between saying "Let's go eat Grandma!" and "Let's go eat, Grandma!" As far as I'm concerned, the errors severely break the immersion, to the point where this story is more of a "sometimes" story, rather than an "all the time" story. Other than that, though, I love it :)
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