1-Harmonic Bullshitery

A loud bang, a second of ringing, and then darkness. This is what it is like being hit by lightning. I wasn't lucky enough to survive the ordeal, must have damaged my brain, heart, or both at the same time beyond repair. What came next was darkness, but when I regained what I could only seem to think was my consciousness, I was emitting a massive and constant flow of electricity.

"Jesus, this is the 2nd time in the last 3,000 years," A feminine voice says as the dark void around me gains a small white platform that I land on, revealing a little girl between 10-12 years old, writing with a Quill on a piece of paper.

"Where are you? your dead, what's going to happen to you?...well...I haven't decided that" The little girl says as I sat there with the lightning that engulfed me no longer being there.

"What in the fu..." I try to get out.

"AH, there will be none of that" The little girl snarls as she doesn't even take her eyes off the piece of paper she is writing on, just raising her free hand. "Ah, that could be interesting," She says once more, then taking her attention away from the paper, sliding it across the table to me and then saying "Will this do?".

I picked up and read the piece of paper as this situation couldn't have gotten any weirder.

"What the hell is this?" I ask

"I guessed what 3 wishes you would want, the first world you would want to begin in, and I want to come with you," She says.

"Can you *Slap*...me?" I ask as my expression frowned.

"No, it's not a dream, now sign it, unless you would like to change anything," She says.

"If this is all possible, then why would you want to come with me?" I ask.

"I have spent tens of thousands of years here, only being able to learn of the human world through people who come through. I can never go back to where I am from as this is a punishment, I am tired of it" She says.

"What, so your like a god?" I ask.

"I knew that was coming, but it was still insulting. Saying humans were made out of my kinds imagination is the understatement of the megaannum" She says.

"Screw it, I'm never smoking that stuff Jordan gave me ever again," I say as I sign the piece of paper, not believing any of the information it contained, thinking I would wake up from this all, and I did alright.

The transition was flawless as I woke up to now find myself in a large and extravagant looking room, looking like something straight out of an eastern fantasy novel.

"Holy shit it's real," I say to myself.

"Told ya," The feminine voice says, now talking in my head like they are my own thoughts.