21 Chapter 19.5 | After the Test (1.5/2) - Alexis

After finishing up class today, I met up with Zane and talked for a while.

Soon the anniversary of my brother, Atticus's disappearance was coming up, and I felt my mood worsening by the day.

I wasn't one to easily let my emotions control me, having worked on controlling my emotions through countless duels, but topics surrounding my brother were one of the only exceptions to this.

Zane being a close friend to my brother was one of the only people I could confide in, but Zane was never really good with emotions, if his relationship with his brother wasn't enough of an example.

That doesn't mean Zane was a bad person, instead, he gave me space when I needed it and kept an eye out for me for my brother.

Zane wasn't really close to me either, if anything Zane was a good friend of my brother and looked after me in his absence.

His always serious attitude was very much night and day compared to my brother. Sometimes I even wondered how they even became friends, since my brother was a goofy idiot who never took anything seriously and loved teasing people.

I guess it was due to them being rivals through their first years, otherwise I could never see them become friends.

Deciding to take a walk to clear my head, I found myself on the beach shore.

Taking a seat, I stared at the sunset, but could only feel the cold breeze bouncing off my body.

'Why the hell was this uniform so short!?' I cursed inwardly, trying to find anything I could vent my emotions into.

Wrapping my hands around my knees, I reminisced about my childhood and big brother. He was an idiot who loved being over dramatic and teasing me, in fact, he was so over energetic I sometimes wondered if we were related.

Sometimes he was so embarrassing I wished he was adopted…

But no matter what, Attacus always had my back and made sure I never had a frown on my face.

Feeling my chest tighten, I clenched my nails into my legs and desperately tried to suppress the tears threatening to burst out.

Drowning in these emotions, I mumbled to myself, 'Where are you Atticus…' as I buried my head into my knees.

''Alexis?'' I stiffened up hearing my name and quickly checked who it was.

''Illumi?'' However the person was someone I recognized, it was Illumi Tanaka one of the first years I got to know.

Illumi froze up after seeing my face, which confused me at first, but after feeling a wet sensation on my cheeks, I realized I had been crying and quickly whipped away the tears.

Illumi's face also showed a variety of emotions through his expression going from confusion, to worry, to awkwardness.

For a moment we both stood there in silence until Illumi opened his mouth.

''...so…'' He trailed off with a slightly strained expression, before donning a comforting smile and began to talk in a flowery tone.

''Hey, Lexi~ What are you doing out here?'' I realized he was purposely trying to avoid my earlier appearance and felt a little thankful that he wasn't mentioning why I was crying. 

For some reason, he reminded me of my brother and I began to choke up, ''Sorry, looks like you caught me in an embarrassing state…'' was all I squeezed out from my dry throat.

Hearing me, Illumi's expression soured as his worry marred his face and he asked, ''Do you… wanna talk about it?''

Unable to talk due to my parched throat, I silently lowered my head in a sign of declining. Not getting an answer, Illumi took a seat beside me, to my surprise.

''I… heard you smoked your opponent during the test, right?'' He changed the topic.

''... yeah,'' I choked out.

''You duelled one of Chazz's cheerleaders, right?'' He asked and I felt a smile threatening to form on my face, I even stifled a small giggle.

''Hff- …Yeah, it wasn't a very good duel since he seemed a little… distracted,'' I said back referring to Chazz and Jaden's duel, though, his and Bastion's duel wasn't any worse.

In fact, it seemed it was harder since albite had not finished, Bastion had made an anti-dragon deck and Illumi didn't have the best start.

''Well, it's understandable. He just saw his boyfriend lose even after stacking his deck.'' Illumi snickered and I repressed the urge to roll my eyes.

''...you didn't do too bad either… I heard'' I gave him some credit, though I would never admit that I had watched his entire duel and even nearly missed mine because I was so focused on it…

But like an idiot, Illumi started exaggerating and acting like a drama queen.

''What!? You didn't watch my match? Oh~ my fragile heart!'' He exclaimed grabbing his heart and pretending to faint as he fell backwards.

Staring at him, I saw the image of Atticus's over-dramatic face overlapping with Illumi's. I felt my stomach twist as I watched Illumi try to cheer me up, just like Atticus used to.

Feeling my fists lose strength, I took a deep breath to recompose myself and put on an annoyed expression.

''Tch, stop overreacting! You didn't watch mine either!'' I chided him, just like I used to with my brother.

''Ah!? Too shay…'' He made a stupid sound as he turned his gaze away.

I thought he had given up, but it seemed I was wrong.

''I bet you watched Jaden's round~'' Hey randomly added and I felt he was going to say something annoying next.

''What are you implying?'' I asked with a threatening gaze.

''Well nothing~ Just… Jaden and Alexis sitting in a tree~ K.I.S.S.I.N-'' Like Atticus, Illumi started teasing me with a flowery tone.

Almost out of habit, I sent an elbow into his abdomen. A practised motion that I hadn't done since my brother went missing.

''So childish…'' I cheated.

''Ugh…'' Illumi crumpled as I accurately struck his solar plexus and knocked the wind out of him.

Realizing what I had just done, I started feeling a little 

Apologetic, but before I could apologize, Illumi spoke up.

''You're lucky you're a girl…'' Illumi grunted stubbornly acting tough.

But that was a big mistake, after all, I hated more than anything, someone looking down at me because of my gender.

''You little!'' I started chasing Illumi as he ran away.

I definitely felt angry, but for some reason, I couldn't remove the smile on my face.

And just like children, Illumi ran away as I chased after him. Something I thought would be a long-distant memory after Atticus disappeared...

It had been a while since I could... be 'me' without the responsibilities and expectations placed on me.

It felt... nice.