2 My deepest desire.

Her POV

Do you miss me the way that I miss you?

We weren't perfect but for me you were all that and then some.

If we came to face one another, once more..would you give it another shot? Is that a thought on your mind like it is on mine?

I still want you.

I feel as though I need you.

Do you love me?

If so can you muster up enough courage to put your pride to the side and tell me?

Can we try again.

I tried convincing myself that I don't miss what we had..that I don't miss you, because I can't make a scene.

You make it seem so easy and that there wasn't anything between us.

The pain I felt..my heart swelled up.

Am I being selfish.

I want a love like you have, but why can't I be that love?

Can you tell me you love me?

Could you have?

Is he better?

When did you realize you loved him?

I guess you must have not cared for what I felt?

I miss you....

I still love you....

Now matter how much my heart tore finding you with him, I would still accept you with open arms if you admitted your love for me.

That's how selfish my pumping weakness is, of course just for you my love.

Were you curious..my love?

Was it just for the experience? Or does he hold a place in your heart?

One similar to the swell you hold in mine?

A lover you don't know carries the same fondness for you as you do for them?

Are you confused? Or is your heart set solely for this person?

I still want you..even if it's true.

In my eyes, in this moment...I'm not sure I'll ever be the same without you here with me.

I'm trying so hard not to break when you aren't here...when I think of how you are in the arms of someone else.

Is it my fault?

How come it looks so easy for you?

I wanna know your point of view...am I past the expiration?

When I see you I can't help but think to what we had, what it was... what my heart still throbs for.

Is your heart and mind torn ...my love? I'm trying to understand. Solely for you. Do you love me? .....like I love you?

Am I lying to myself to cope?

Because I seen the look in your eyes..a love you're anxious of.

Far from what you and I shared and my cerebrum is well aware of such..but my heart?

My heart.....is extremely in denial.

So I'll wait for you.

To confirm what my conscience is sure of.

Yet you show up with a plus one.

To break me? ...oh.

I see, you truly aren't concerned for what I feel.

So I'll disguise my pain..for happiness. I'll pretend.

So that when I'm alone, behind closed doors I can let it flow.

Like streams to a painful crash of a waterfall.

To silently cry..even if no ones around to hear for miles.

This is how I'll cover up my pain to all eyes.

Curled into a corner, quivering with my arms wrapped around my legs.

Trying so hard not to let anyone hear my hearts sorrow.

To not let anyone hear how my heart aches and yearns for you...my love..

'My Love'

Quite ironic...you're my love

Yet you're love isn't with me

So I guess the irony is all mine.

Maybe....just maybe, one day I'll be able to accept that.

But for now, I'll continue this feud between my heart and intellect.

From what's right and I'm well aware of ...to what my heart yearns for and desires above all else..

You're love.

Ōhira, Tenshi is a woman in love with Matsuya , Kiyoomi. They spent years together..only for her to find him in the arms of Sakata, Atsu.

She loves him so much, she ends it with him so he can be happy with the one she sees he truly loves. After all, things haven't been the same between them..for a while.

Yet no matter how hard she tries to listen to her brain that knows he doesn't love her the same way, she can't help but yearn for him because her heart is overpowering her reason. So she meets with him, to confirm what she knows, but denies thinking it will help her move on.

What was supposed to be a private meet turns into a realization. Kiyoomi brought Atsu with him to a dinner meant for two. And to her that's confirmation that kiyoomi doesn't love her the same because if he did, even in the slightest, he wouldn't have brought the reason for her pain. The reason for her one sided love. Because if Atsu wasn't in the picture, kiyoomi would have only been in love with her and there wouldn't have been another to peak his interest. Because she knows Atsu is the only man kiyoomi could ever love, for he has never been with a man before.

So she is well aware that this is a love beyond what her and kiyoomi have ever shared. It's something so beautiful and pure. And her heart is in pieces because the one man she wanted to spend her life with is happily in love with someone she could never be. So when around others she tries to perceive as one whom is happy, when in reality she doesn't know if she will ever be happy again. So she chooses to suffer alone and hide her pain and sorrows beyond the walls of her home, wishing she was the one he loved.