1 why'd the chicken cross the road?

he didn't he stood in the road waiting to get ran over

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so a pretty girl goes to the doctor for a check up, and the doctor touched her breast, and asked "what am i doing."

of course the girl said "checking for breast cancer."

well the man put his fingers inside he and asked "what about now?"

of course she said " checking for pregnancy."

well the third time he got on top of her and had sex with her and asked "what am I doing now?"

of course she said "getting STD's"

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a murderer is like a disease, it kills.

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two blondes cross the road ad ask which way to go, one says left but the other says right. so they both go their seprate ways one drowned in a lake and the other got eaten by an alligator.

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I'll never forget my Granddad's last words to me just before he died... "

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

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Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

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