18 Accepting the feelings but not really

The next morning I woke up by the sound of the alarm. It was half-past five in the morning and I had to get up now but there was a tiny problem. Ai, with her superhuman strength was holding me close. Also, she smelled so irresistibly good from this close.

Her hair fell in front of her face and she was breathing lightly with her body moving lightly with each cycle. She looked so cute and defenseless right now that I just could not help but lightly stroke her hair.

"Hmm, Kazu-kun. Yes, compliment me more, pamper me more, love me more," she muttered in her sleep tightening the hug.

Shit, how can I get out like this? The only way possible is waking her up but just looking at her peaceful face, I could not help but feel bad about waking her. My hand which unconsciously was wrapped around her felt something hard and solid touch it. Not knowing what it was, I picked it up and my finger pressed something as a light came out of it. Looking at it, I found that it was a phone which was not mine meaning it belonged to Ai. Oh no, I am not supposed to touch this thing.

It was when I saw, the first thing you could see when the phone was turned on was a camera clicked picture as a wallpaper. A picture of me, with my shirt off?! When did she even take this image? I don't remember going shirtless outside my house and I normally take it off only when I am going to take...a...bath...oh.

I just put the phone back and looked at Ai who was cutely snuggling up to me.

"Purr, I am Kazu-kun's cat maid nya~."

Oh no, why did she say this? My otaku side just emerged out hearing this and my imagination went wild. Even if it was for a moment that I imagined it. Ai is a white cat with little white cat ears protruding out of her head wearing a maid costume. Argh! I need to get out of here. Her cuteness is too destructive.

"I will make Kazu-kun feel good nya~"

Don't say that right now! Shit, I don't care what happens now. My pureness is at stake here so I held both of Ai's shoulders and pushed her a little away from me and quickly put my pillow there. It did the trick and she hugged the pillow close so hard that it bent in the middle. Just imagining that being my back made me shiver.

I crawled out of the bed and taking my clothes, went to the bathroom to freshen up and take a bath quickly. Once done with that, I wore my clothes but still did not put my school blazer on since I had to cook right now and dry the washed clothes. I have no idea why they make us wear the blazer even in summers. Everyone just takes it off the moment they get in the class.

Taking the clothes out in a bucket, I took them out on the balcony hanging them there to dry. One by one, I hung them on the wire, and then my hands stopped when I felt something unusual. I looked and it was a girl's panties. Not staring at it much, I quickly put it to dry and then took the basket and went inside. Pink.

As I passed in front of the bedroom door, I saw the figure of Ai stretching making a cute sound on the bed.

"Good morning sleepyhead," I said to her and she looked at me.

"Good morning Kazu-kun," she replied giving me a soft and kind smile.

"The water is already heated so you can freshen up and take a bath."

"Okay."

I put the basket down and went to the kitchen to make breakfast and lunch. The lunch was still a secret so I started with that first. Looks like it is coming together perfectly. While that was being cooked, I took out bread slices and put some butter on them, and started making a half-fried omelet. The coffee was also almost ready.

I heard footsteps from behind me indicating that Ai was out of the bedroom and the breakfast was almost done. But then I heard the fridge door open and I turned seeing Ai taking out a water bottle and drinking water from it directly. Thank god, I thought she was taking out a sweet to stuff in her mouth.

She had worn her uniform completely, a white shirt on top and a black skirt which she had it really short under which she wore stocking? When did she start wearing those?

"Do you like it?" she said lightly lifting her skirt up showing the black stockings she wore underneath covering her long legs and plump thighs.

"You can say that," I replied flipping the egg on the bread and placing it on the plate. "Come and take your breakfast. The lunch boxes will be ready soon but don't you dare see what is inside."

"Why is that? Will Kazu-kun write his confession in it?" she said covering her mouth in fake surprise.

"Why would I need to do that when I can just say it from my mouth?"

"But if it is you, I am pretty sure you will make it even grander," she said whispering in my ear. "I know because I love you so much."

A shiver went down my spine as I felt her cold breath on my ear and a blush made its way on my face. She giggled and took her plate and sat down at the dining table to eat her breakfast. I quickly set everything for the lunch box and packed it before taking my breakfast and our coffee.

We had our breakfast in peace, I reminded Ai to not tell anyone that we live together, got our bags and phones, and locked the house. As it is was a custom now somehow, Ai latched onto my arm with a smile on her face. As always, I did not shake her off and went with the flow and we started going to school which was surprisingly closer to this house since it was just a ten-minute walk to there.

Going closer to the school, all eyes were on me and the same happened. The boys were giving me a jealous glare while the girls were intrigued about this and started gossiping among themselves. This time, both of them did not really matter to me. Ai was also ignoring them so I should also do the same. Jealousy or envy is one of the seven deadly sins which cannot be taken out of a human so ignoring it is the best thing. You can never stop it.

We met Natsumi-san on the way and she just gave me a thumbs up and a smirk. Well, at least she has recovered from the injury which was also surprising. I thought that she would have still had that bandage on but she didn't. I am just surprised that no one in the hospital asked me about how I got the bite marks. It was as if they did not see them but still tended to it as any other wound...so she did it.

We got in our class and got in my seat while Ai waved at me and waltzed to her seat. The class surrounded her as she started greeting everyone. She looked happier than usual in the class. I wonder why that was...

"Yes, I am Kazu-kun's girlfriend," she said out loud enough for the entire class to hear that.

One boy was about to enter the class but as soon as he heard that, he checked the class label for some reason which I did not understand. All eyes were now on me asking me if it was true. Now, if I said yes, I will be killed by the boys but if I said no, I think the sad face of Ai will make them annihilate me so went with the less painful choice.

"Yes, I am dating Ai," I said to them and the boys fell down in pain, and Ai covered her face which was completely red.

"Ahh! My dreams have been crushed! Damn you, Shiba!"

"He even called her by her first name!"

"Screw that, she called him Kazu something! I am so jealous!"

"My future wife is stolen from me!"

I pretend to not hear the last one.

Like this, while the boys were crying in agony, the girls were squealing. Looks like they got a fresh topic to gossip about now. The social network of the girls in our class is pretty scary. The news flies too fast even if you don't talk to one, you can know about it because of them practically screaming about it. This is going to be such a pain.

Now that I think about it, that guy from last time was not amongst the boys who were screaming in agony. No, he was not even in the class because I was sure he would probably try punching me for that reason. Probably has a cold or something. I hope. Seriously, let it be a cold.

The classes started and I tried concentrating but I was too lazy to do anything. By the time it was the third period, I was lying down on the desk. Which subject was it again?

"Seriously Shiba, you need to tell me if there is any problem with my teaching methods. I might just leave my job because of your amazing response in the class."

Oh right, English.

"Sensei, don't worry. You are an amazing teacher," I said sitting up straight and giving Natsumi-san a thumbs up only to receive a light hit on the head.

"Say it when you are awake in my classes," she said.

Because of this, the boys started laughing in the class and Natsumi-san looked back at them silencing them in just one stare.

"Kizuhara, if you find it so funny then I think you know everything in the lessons I believe," Natsumi-san said to the boy who laughed the loudest.

"Um...no sensei."

"Start reading from page 110," she said to the boy.

"Okay sensei. The boy found out that his body turned into that of a female. A girl with long blonde hair and baby blue eyes for half of the day. It was more than split personality...."

Wait, isn't he reading the light novel story I was reading yesterday? Looks like he actually was and got punished with double homework today. Why was he even reading that in the class?

It was time for the lunch break and I decided to not eat in the class and stood up to walk out grabbing my lunch box. On the way, I saw some boys wanted to come and drag me somewhere but soon stopped. I wonder why that is. When I turned to the stairs, I started heading upstairs to the roof. It was actually out of bounds for students and was supposed to be locked. Supposed to be.

Pushing open the door which did not have a lock on it, the first thing that happened was that I felt two cold hands on my eyes and two soft sensations pressing against my back.

"Guess who?" asked a fake deep voice.

"These hands, oh if it isn't Aika. It has been long since I last talked to you," I said.

"I am not Aika. Now, who is this Aika?" the voice turned cold and asked me. The words were like a sharp sword right now.

"It is just a name I came up with because the first name that came in my mind was Ai," I said taking her hands off my eyes. "Who also happens to be the person standing behind me."

I turned around seeing the white-haired beauty who supposedly followed me up here. I thought she would have been with her classmates but looks like she thinks I might talk to another girl during that time.

"Now that you are here. You can eat me," I said in a teasing voice and her face went red.

"W-what are you saying Kazu-kun? Out here?"

"Yes, you can eat my food. That is what I said, what did you think?" I said to her in a normal yet confused voice tilting my head.

"Oh, n-nothing. Looks like my mind was thinking something," she said looking down with her face completely red.

Oh, you gullible little girl. Let me have some more fun.

"Is that so? What were you thinking my little cat maid?" I whispered in her ear.

"Funnya..."

Steam started coming from her head. Looks like I overdid it a little but I did but since I got a really cute reaction out of her, it was all worth it. Mission successful.

I sat down and opened my lunch. This time, I had put a little more effort into it since I had someone else also eating lunch. I made rice with some miso soup to go with it which was on the next part of the lunch box, fried chicken, some pickled vegetables, and octopus sausages. It was a bit weird selection of food but it surprisingly went well with each other.

Ai sat beside me fixing her skirt and put the box on her lap. As soon as she opened it, her eyes started sparkling and I saw her drooling a little just looking at it.

"Now, eat up," I said to her.

"Itadakimasu!"

She started eating the food at a fast pace so I told her to slow down.

"But it is so good, I cannot slow myself down," she said.

"And I don't want you to be choking on the food I made. Please slow down."

"If Kazu-kun says so."

She slowed down eating the food with a big smile on her face. It made me smile too seeing her so happy. When she was done with the food, I even got the ultimate reward- the lap pillow.

I saw the soft smile on Ai's face as she was ruffling my hair. Seeing that made me happy and made me think back on my thoughts last night. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve Ai's affection and love.

But.

There are many things people get that they absolutely do not deserve but we cannot really do anything about it, can we? I am not the first person who got what he did not deserve and I will definitely not be the last one.

We cannot change the past but we should not also forget about it nor dwell on it. All we can do is keep it in a small pocket of our and keep moving forward and accept everything life throws at us.

So, I am accepting all the love that I am being showered.

I am accepting the situation I am in right now.

And, I am accepting the fact that I cannot get away from Ai no matter what since it is how it is.

"I love you Kazu-kun."

Same here Ai. Though I hope I can say that to you and not just in my mind.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Join the discord server for updates on all my books

https://discord.gg/fbSzW3F5r2