Chapter 34

Owen wheeled himself into the local bank. As he entered, he looked around until he made eye contact with a young woman. She smiled at him and walked over to him.

"May I help you?" she said.

He pulled out an envelope and said, "Yes, I'd like to make a withdrawal, please."

Lily sat in the small hotel room, playing her record over and over again. She listened to the words and got lost in the music. She'd listened all day and didn't even realize it was evening until her stomach growled. She turned off the player and grabbed her jacket.

She walked down to a small corner store. As she walked in, she passed a large magazine rack and spotted the latest edition of You & Me magazine. She picked up the magazine and examined it. She'd known about Sylvia's magazine; she just actually never read it.

On the cover was a young, smiling white woman with perfect teeth. Her blonde hair fell perfectly over her shoulders. She was sitting with her hand below her chin. Her eyes were sky blue, and her skin was pale white, which was accented by her blood-red lipstick. The headline read, "Beautiful you in 30 days!"

Lily flipped through the pages, each revealing models, fashion tips, makeup tips, celebrity gossip, and more. She tucked the magazine under her arm and picked up a ham sandwich, small bag of chips, water, and a candy bar. As she passed the cooler full of beer, she briefly stopped. She felt her heart race, licked her lips, then kept walking. She paid for her food and drink and quickly left the store.

When she arrived back to the safety of her room, she sat on the bed, reading the magazine and eating her sandwich. She inspected each page carefully, wondering how much of Sylvia was in the magazine.

She'd given up on the idea of beauty a long time ago. She didn't care about her hair or clothes. She didn't read about celebrities or cared who wore it better. She couldn't picture herself in the magazine. All these women were young, beautiful, and white.

She walked into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She barely recognized the reflection staring back at her. Her face was clear and smooth, but she'd aged over the years. She had slight bags underneath her eyes. She noticed crow's feet forming around her eyes and mouth. She smiled, then frowned at her reflection.

She shook her head and walked back into the main room, where she picked up a small piece of paper on the desk and dialed the number written on it. She listened to the phone trill in her ear. Finally, on the 3rd trill, a voice came over the phone.

"Hello?"

"Tallulah, it's Lily. I can't do it. I can't get up in front of all those people knowing my picture will be going into this magazine," she said, waving the magazine frantically around.

"Lily, calm down. I promise you'll look great. At least let's try, okay?" she said, trying to sound reassuring.

"I got a copy of the magazine. All the girls are young, beautiful, and white!" she yelled into the phone.

"Lily, I promise you'll be perfect. My girl Chloe is a fashionista. Do you trust me?" she asked.

Lily was pacing back and forth. "I guess I do," she said.

"Please trust me, Lily. You're beautiful. The women in the magazine aren't real. Real beauty comes from within. Lily, you're beautiful. Trust me," she said.

Lily sat on the edge of the bed. She could feel the tears swell up in her eyes. "Tallulah, I'm scared," she whispered. "I'm so fucking scared."

"Lily," she said, "I know you've been through a lot. I know your story…well, most of it. I want to help. Please trust me. I know you're scared. Who isn't? But you have a spark. I see it, and I think others will, too. I promise your pictures will be great. Okay?"

She wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I want a drink," she said, "but I won't. I won't drink." "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay. I just got scared. I was looking at Sylvia's magazine, and I got scared," Lily replied.

"I understand," Tallulah said. "You promise to meet me tomorrow? My place?" "Yes, I'll be there," she said and hung up the phone.

She put down the magazine and walked over to the record player. It was sitting on the small desk in the room. She turned it on and carefully placed the needle on the record, then began to sing along, swaying back and forth to the music. She picked up the magazine, threw it in a nearby trash can, and continued to sing along.

Stanley sat in his office chair, reading an older copy of BW. He set down the newspaper when Tonya, his assistant, walked into his office.

"You're all set for tomorrow. Chloe sent over your itinerary. She has you speaking with a few reporters and giving a small speech just prior to the event," she said, not looking up.

She waited for his reply, but when there was silence, she looked up from her notepad. Stanley was staring out the window. He leaned back into his large leather chair and folded his hands behind his head.

"Stanley. Stanley, I'm going to need you to focus, please," she said.

He turned around to look at her. "I am focused. I heard you." He turned his chair back around and gazed out the window.

"Are you okay, Stanley?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good. I just…well..." He trailed off.

"She doesn't date her clients. Stanley, you're a client," Tonya said, sitting down in the chair in front of the desk. "She probably doesn't want to deal with the office rumors and talk. And then there's the press, your parents, ex-girlfriends. You're a big deal, Stanley. One of the most eligible bachelors. That's a lot for a woman. Personally, I like Chloe," she said. "Me, too," said Stanley.

She smiled. "Turn around." She watched as he slowly turned around to face her. "Why is this one different?" she asked, peering at him.

He shrugged. "I don't know. She's different. She's never once showed any interest in me. She called me and told me to stop sending flowers, she sends my calls to voicemail, she's beautiful, smart, funny. I usually have no issues with women. Maybe she doesn't like me."

"Wow. You're hooked. I've never seen you like this before. You usually date, then put them in

the friends with benefits zone."

He smiled. "Do I?"

"There are some women in the world who are strong and enjoy their independence. They're not looking to be taken care of; they're looking for a companion. Someone they can enjoy, talk to, laugh with...hell, even cry with."

"I can cry," he said.

She laughed. "If you want my advice, just tell Chloe what you want. Some of us just want to hear it. Make her believe the rumors and talk won't matter because it shouldn't. Here's your itinerary. Please be ready. The car will pick you up here. Then to Chloe, then to the press conference at the shelter, then the event." She handed him a folder. "Everything you need is in here."

Stanley took the folder and put it down on his desk. "Do you think she won't go out with me because I'm white?" he asked.

Tonya shook her head. "No. Do you want to go out with her because she's Black?" "I sound stupid, don't I? Well, so do you."

"I'm leaving for the evening." She looked at him and thought he looked like a wounded puppy. She sighed and sat back down. "Okay, okay, you look too pitiful for me to leave. What can I do to help?" she said.

He perked up. "There's nothing for you to do, Tonya. You asking is more than enough. You're like family to me. Thank you for listening."

"So, you're okay?" she said.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'll figure this out. I always do," he said.

Tonya stood up and smiled at him. "You're a good boss. A pain in the ass, yes, but a good boss.

I'm glad you think of me as family." She turned and left the room.

Stanley leaned back in his chair, his mind drifting to Chloe. He liked her. She wasn't like the other women he'd dated. Most of them were just around for the money. His mother had tried several times to settle him down with women based on their breeding and social stature. She would say things like "She's well-educated, Stanley. She comes from a fine family. You should call her and go do what young people do." Or sometimes she would say, "Her family has the right connections that could benefit you and your father. You should call her and go do what young people do." He would just nod and kiss her on the cheek.

He knew dating Chloe would present a problem for his mother. She wasn't rich or Ivy League-educated, and she wasn't white. He knew the idea of dating a woman of color would simply piss her off. He could picture her face when he introduced them. He smiled at the thought of bringing Chloe home to meet the parents.

His father would raise an eyebrow and be cordial. His mother would huff and pout. She would seethe at him all through dinner, then excuse herself without so much as an explanation. Her silence would be louder than all the screaming in the world, and he was fully prepared to deal with it.

He sighed and said out loud, "None of that matters if she refused to go out with me." He picked up the Big World paper in his lap and continued to read.

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