Dear God {D.E.S 1}

Walking down the railway was a tall boy with black hair and blue eyes, his height of 5'7 inches made him stand out amongst the crowd.

He looked pale and walked funnily, and of course, he was handsome.

Although it might not be noticeable from a far sight.

But from a close view, his long eyelashes made his eyes look alluring and beautiful.

Just staring into them can bring one peace of

mind, but contrary to this, the bearer doesn't have any peace.

He was walking through the train station to get to his school.

He chose this option over using the train as transport because he needed some air.

You're guessing who the description above is for right?

Well, may I gladly announce to you that it's none other than yours truly.

Yep, that's me, and yes, right now I'm currently walking down the railway.

And you can equalize my walking step to that of a zombie from "Walking Dead".

Hmm?

What?

You don't expect me to walk all cool and confidently when I'm freaking tired.

I haven't been able to have a peaceful sleep these past few days.

Okay, let's move to the introduction, I know you've been dying to know who this loser is.

I'm Gideon Promise.

Here's the truth... I don't have a surname.

I just came up with that when I needed to register for school.

Hell, I don't even have a name.

I named myself Gideon because of the custom personalized necklace I was wearing.

The necklace has the name Gideon crafted on it, so I was like thinking; I wouldn't wear another person's name on my neck, would I?

I know I'm not that stupid so it has to be my name, it has to be mine.

The necklace is something similar to gold, but I doubt gold could give off this eerie feeling, but somehow I feel attached to it.

It had a name boldly written on it and anybody standing a few feet away from me could read it.

"Gideon "

Ahem.

That's too much of an info dump.

Anyways.

After I managed to somehow convince the school authorities whom I enlisted from, that my parents were away on a business trip and I had no guardian.

With a little bit of action and drama, my super lame lie was bought and I was admitted to Killian's College.

But before I was admitted, I had to sign a lot, I mean a lot of papers, which they claimed were necessary for my safety in the school.

Honestly speaking, I don't know anything about myself and I have no memory of what happened to me before 2 years ago.

I was 15 when I woke up in this super-rich apartment.

After some successful findings, I figured out, that I could live in the apartment for 5 years.

And also, that five years have fully been paid for.

I figured out my age too, but I couldn't figure out my family background.

While trying to search for clues, I found a huge amount of money under my bed, 7 money-filled suitcases.

Perplexed?

I was equally confused, but two things were made clear;

First is: whatever or whoever put me in that situation, had to do with money, a lot of them at that.

And the second one is that, it affected my memories.

Either it was forcefully blocked or I had an accident that made me lose my memory.

The former isn't something that can happen in this world, since magic doesn't exist, only martial arts and I doubt martial arts can be used to block memory, so I'll go with the latter.

But sometimes, tiny fragments of memory come back, when I came in contact with some unusual things in that house, like a button or a piece of clothing.

Whenever I try to remember them, a serious headache hits me and next, I see myself on the floor.

In short, I always pass out whenever I try to remember anything about myself

And since two years ago, I've been trying to fix myself somewhere.

I wanted to do something that would give me more money.

Something I like and would equally be profitable to me.

And there's one thing about me I like a lot, I have a good business mind.

Yes, I'm the best there is of my age mates out there when it comes to business, especially negotiations.

Now, this is where my life gets messy and frustrating.

You all wanted to know why I was depressed, it's because I kept failing.

I first started as a business "boy" selling martial arts scrolls but I was considered not qualified and therefore not permitted.

Meanwhile, I had already spent fortunes purchasing the damned scroll.

So I decided to read and practice them for myself, since I won't be selling them, I might as well use them for myself.

I later found out that musicians do make enough money, and I started to get interested in music.

I joined a band and we started going to shows and we started performing.

I gave it all my time and effort, but It wasn't enough, I wasn't recognized.

I was always compared to my peers as the worst and least talented.

Just when I thought I was doing something I loved, it began to hurt.

Being compared to others, none of my efforts were recognized.

Those feelings hurt like hell.

But I still put up with it, after all, "no pain no gain".

Then we released a cool song that got contracted.

We had to travel outside the country to perform, but I wasn't allowed to travel out with my peers.

That was because I had no family background even though I was the core and spine of that song.

You can't imagine the pain of losing something you've always wanted just because you don't know who you are.

Buying all my pains, I decided to move on to writing a story.

I became a web novel author.

I engaged in story writing.

It was fun, the creation of imaginative functional characters helped me escape a part of reality I had always been afraid of seeing again.

I became engrossed in it, but not for long.

I soon lost interest and I wasn't frequent in my updates.

Coming io with new ideas and cool fight scenes, building up character, and world-building in general became a headache.

I also did not follow the usual way other writers write, I created mine.

I wanted it to be UNIQUE.

But a colleague of mine who started at the same time got contracted twice... TWICE...

And I?

You ask, well I NEVER got contracted at all.

I was frustrated, angry and maybe a little bit jealous.

Ok, maybe a little bit above a "little bit jealous."

Ehem.

The point is, I was jealous okay, I was freaking angry at myself.

I also went ahead to use some money for online trading but I was scammed.

I felt frustrated and went to bet my money on sports and guess what?

I LOST.

I tried entering a competition, but my freaking name didn't even appear among the list of people who registered etcetera.

My misery is uncountable

And in school, I've been well... Not so good.

And now I wonder, is it everyone who has a talent, or are some people created to be a stepping stone for others?

"Ack! "

I bumped on someone's muscular body and was pushed to the train track.

I didn't fall though but I wasn't safe either

~Pooooo!!! ~

Looking forward, I saw a train coming with speed.

I could move, but I didn't want to, I looked at the incoming train.

*Uh...

Really? Am I this pathetic, I am going to die.

I could have died while saving a princess or being the hero of a scene, but I'm dying as a character who hugs a train.

Oh well, but why do I feel relieved?

Am I not afraid of death?

I don't feel any shred of fear, is it because I don't have anything bonding me with this world again?

The only thing I've bonded with is disappointment and failure.

Meh, that aside.

I heard that we are all naked in heaven.

So the question is:

Does that mean I'll get to see some naked female angel chicks?

Hehe

I'm going to heaven, cause I don't remember sinning against god, rather I think he sinned against me for creating me in the first place.

When I would have been in heaven having some peace of mind and "LUCK" I'm here struggling for nothing in nothing on this annoying earth.

So, if I die now, how should I address god?

Should I should call him Dear god?

No that's too formal

Daddy? Nah that's too informal

Yo Gee! Nah, that's too lame

Wait... what if god is dark-skinned?

Do I call him nigga?

Will he be angry if I call him nigga?

Come on Gideon, think, think of something, anything, remember, the first impression matters a lot.

I am going to have peace soon

~Smiles~

Looking at the incoming train and smiling I was finally happy.

"Finally, goodbye world"

I muttered under my breath.

†****************†

As Gideon was walking, he seemed lost in his thoughts as he didn't notice when he bumped into and was pushed to the train track.

~pooooooo!~

An incoming train, with a breakneck speed headed towards Gideon, the captain was certain that he couldn't hold breaks immediately, so he decided to blow his horn as loud as possible.

Meanwhile, the young man standing in front of the incoming train looked at the train indifferently.

The supposedly victim of a fatal accident was smiling, in the face of death.

He looked ready and he didn't seem to be regretting anything.

*Is this how I'm going to become a murderer on my 43rd birthday?

I just wanted to have a good day, go home, and celebrate my birthday.*

The captain of the train panicked as drops of sweat raced down his face as the train got closer and closer to the victim-to-be

†**************†

*Goodbye world...*

~Baam!~

"Ack!!"

Gideon didn't finish his world as he found himself flying to the other side of the railway, dodging the incoming train by a hair's breadth.

"What? What happened?"

He thought as he noticed a shadow slowly approaching him

"Hello Gideon"

The person standing in front of him said while Gideon could only widen his eyes