Us and them

Sometimes I would wonder for hours and hours but when I see you, all those thoughts go away even if it's just for a split second or two.

Before I see you again, I want to understand my feelings. When we first met, I NEEDED and WANTED you so I was never scared to be the one to hurt you, I was more afraid of you leaving me but is different now. I'm no longer desperate for comfort but since you're important to me, I'm scared I'll hurt you.

'I' am not me if there isn't you so 'I' won't matter if you don't see me. As a kid, I was often labeled as slow or dumb because of how slow I was to learn and accept, I was often left alone because of those very reasons. People never seemed to see 'me', I was trying to open up but those little improvements were never enough to make them stay.

I was scared, I hated being alone and feeling that way. After awhile, I wondered whether it was possible for anyone to see 'me' and accept 'me' when even my beloved mother couldn't. If she couldn't, who could?

I had no friends, no father, and no siblings. I was slow and stupid, I tried to study hard and give it my all but my efforts weren't enough. Most people would say I was talentless and some would say I was hopeless or that I wasn't even trying. I accepted the fact that I was talentless and stupid but I awash truly giving it my all. They just couldn't see that.