YOU ARE MY ANGLE BABY

I can't forget the day I made myself look unattractive because I expected I never see anyone handsome that day. I am annoyed by the thoughts of why other women had to dress up too much and beautify every time they have a walk. But fate seems to be playing with me like what I thought would be the opposite. So, the saying Expect the unexpected seems to pop up. We will be surprised by what we don't expect to happen, but it happens. That's the day I will see the man of my dreams and the most handsome guy I ever see.

I still remember what month it was, the last month of October. That morning I was lying on the bamboo settee, and my difficulty breathing came back as if I was chasing my every breath. ''I can't bear this. I have to see a doctor. So that my suffering subsides and this will be over." I said to myself. So, I stood up and told our butler Niamh that I wanted to go to the hospital. And she accompanied me. She also brought her little son Sandro because no one watches over him.

On the previous day, I planned to go to the hospital if I couldn't stand it. And there was my cousin Caomhe outside our house and shared how inconvenient the hospital was ''you will have a bad experience when you go to the public hospital. You will have to wait in the long queue of patients there." she's implying that anyone will get bored when you are there. For me, I don't expect anything good from the start. The important thing is that I got better.

So, let's go back to the story. Ate Letlet, our waitress, told me to pack and bring my papers for my Health insurance in case I get admitted to the hospital. I was still a student in the journalism course because that's what I want to become a writer or if possible, become a newscaster but these dreams of mine will change for a reason. I need to go to the hospital to be confined there. So, I went to my room to pack my things. But there are things in my mind that annoy me while looking for my clothes. The things that I am annoyed with are when I recall the times when I was in school, especially when I was sitting on the bench in the park at our school. And there is a girl nearby who is very neat in her clothes, wearing a shirt and pants fitted to his body, and her hair neatly combed. I know most girls like this make themselves beautiful even on ordinary days. And that gives me a question there is no handsome around?

I almost mumbled in my head while looking for something to wear in my drawer." Do they need to beautify themselves?'' I hate when I think of girls like that. So, I decided out of anger to pick my orange overworn shirt from the U.K. and the pants I should wear the cheapest I have. And especially, I won't comb my hair well and do not put powder on my face, So I never look beautiful. I'm sure I won't see anyone handsome today. I just had that sentiment because I believe there are no chances. We will take the worst bus and go to the hospital, where you'll only see sick patients and old doctors. That's what I thought because I was used to seeing aged doctors every time, we had a check-up when I was young.

We usually ride a cheap bus to save money. Most of the passengers there are simple people whom we can say belong to lower-income families because we can see from their grooming and clothing that they wear a simple old house shirt and have brown skin. And some passengers are banana workers who sometimes stand inside the bus because it is usually full inside every late morning. These laborers were wearing torn and ragged clothes. Maybe they have to because they will get muddy after work. Then their feet up to the top are covered with mud. I don't know why they are so dirty if they are still on their way or on their way home. And the worst thing about that old bus is that it's so windy inside that your hair will get messed up and it will have a bad smell that will stick not only to your clothes but also to your hair. I agree that there is no possibility that I will see a handsome man. And there are only two places we are going to, and they are not far away, just the bus and the hospital.

We just took a pedicab and got off. And it was my first time seeing this place. And I am a little surprised how wide the outer zone is that you need to walk more steps to get to the entrance. I noticed a cafeteria on the left side where I thought the outpatients or watchers would not have a problem with where to eat. And maybe we will eat here too, later. I think their food must be delicious. And I also noticed a pharmacy across the street that looks accessible to all.

There we entered the entrance to head to the outpatient desk near the hallway. And then, lined up for the initial examination, a male medical staff who pulled up some needed information. When he looked at me, he had an unapproachable face or maybe just confused about my condition. Then, we went to the second desk. And there was a woman who interviewed me and recorded my information. She looks in her forties and has a slightly grumpy face. Sometimes I wonder if she is another doctor or just another worker here. During the consultation, I answered and detailed it well. And to make it clear how to solve it. And she inquired me carefully and wrote down my symptoms in the form.

I hate to go to the hospital and its atmosphere. We all know this is one of the unsanitary places to visit. I feel like taking a bath an alcohol bath after this. I don't want to see patients who are not pleasant and not clean in sight, sick, and weak. I felt pity every time I see like these scenes.

We are sitting in the chair in the hallway with the other patients in line. And we only waited for the doctor to call my name. I feel strange when I notice the eye of a woman who is in the queue line. I felt a kind of discomfort for me because outside her iris is a red circular line that forms like an outline of the border of her iris.

While waiting for hours, I also noticed a mother who treated her little daughter for her amoeba and brought her youngest daughter too. Also, they took their time, walking on the other side of the hallway and her two daughters playing in the open space area. I comforted myself watching the little sisters and having a reflection that soon they grow faster and look different because time flies fast.

In the waiting area seats while waiting, not too long someone called out my name inside the doctor's room. I realized that the wait wasn't that long. I usually feel nervous in this situation when it's my turn, but I don't want to pay attention to it.

I walk in inside the doctor's office, and Niamh and her son followed behind me. And a nurse came in too, who was beautiful and cute in her petite body, to assist the doctor. I did not expect the doctor to be so handsome. I feel surprised at the moment. The expression of amusement and happiness seems registered on my face. I stared astoundingly at him with a shining smile on my eyes and face. And paused in my stance for a moment to amaze. As if like in the movie scene you unconsciously step backward because you are shocked by something. In the middle school year, I never got attracted to the most popular guy there. I'm not attracted to boys having white skin and overly attractive faces. I am nineteen now, and this is my first time to feel love at first sight" Oh my!… he's cute. I love the way his haircut looks clean and his fair complexion skin is beautiful makes him manly''. I noticed he looks sinewy in his body.

Maybe this is odd to think. Usually, Other girls, when they meet cute guys, want to be theirs. And then I said surreptitiously in my subconscious. "Why he has not become my older brother. I'm going to be proud to have him or even a cousin. I love seeing him every day. Have a chance to be closer to him. And he loves me as a little sister and is sweet to me. And I love to call him Kuya.''

Many thoughts crossed my mind " I have the best childhood memories. And those memories are unforgettable. I never knew someone like you existed in this world. How could I live happily without knowing you at that time? I imagine my preschooler age years the time I never met you, and perhaps, he is a few years older than me. Realizing life is more beautiful when he is around. Now that I met you, I don't want to let you go.''

I am charmed by his looks, which made me think many things about him ''How his parent got a good-looking son? Amazingly, they have raised a friendly, kind, and intelligent child. Maybe he came from a respected and upper-class family. I think both his parents are good-natured and kindhearted people to be lucky enough to have a son like him. '' I said to myself, and want them to meet them in person out of curiosity if I was right. It is amusing that my parents thought I was a boy when I was born. Conceivably all the good qualities of an ideal son they want are in him.

Looking at his face, I can tell he looks fresh and young, and maybe he is only a few years older than me. He looks like on his 30 or maybe 25. I felt ashamed to dream of him because of our age. I am too young to be his. He is already professional while me still studying and childish. I was hurt a little by that thought. He is like medicine, when you look at him is enough to feel relieved and cured.

However, it is undeniable that I felt regret. I want to bow slightly or may turn my face to another side despondently and regret I don't dress nice and make myself beautiful. Moreover, I don't put powder on my face. Even worse, I intend not to comb my hair well. And then, I haven't showered in three days after the therapeutic massage.

I have nothing to brag about myself now. I feel I am not beautiful. It happened just now when I met a very handsome man and tried to make myself ugly. I was wrong about my conjecture that all doctors were old, but he was still young, and I thought I would not see anyone handsome today, yet he is fantastic'' everything I thought was wrong and the opposite.

While I am amused by his looks I was dismayed. When he saw me, I was the first person entering the room, and his reaction was not very welcome. He stared at me in a staid or serious way. It seems he was sheepish in my presence. And thinking I feel he is like one of some people who don't have the confidence to talk to me. He looked at me quizzically at first, and then asked '' Who is the patient?'' but I feel the question is not directed at me, I think he waits for somebody around will reply. And I meek at the moment, my eyes widened in surprise, and try to turn back to glance behind. I know I have companions following me inside but I am the first to walk in. And he is still skeptical and asks again '' who is the patient?'' he is still not convinced. I can kindly assume that he might want to be sure who exactly his patient is, and since I have my companion in my back with her child, or maybe he is expecting his patient to be a small kid or a mother with the usual appearance that he sees every day at work. And I think he has a different reaction because I am the first maiden he met today. However, I felt a sudden change of heart for him.

'' Who was the patient'' he asked again. He needs to repeat that. That is kind of harsh. All my interest in him is gone. Do I need some bondages with blood stains on my head or a broken arm that looks like I came from a car crash for me to recognize I am his patient? I said it in my mind. To reassure him of his confusion, I answered him politely '' I am the patient.'' I noticed how his mood changed quickly. ''Come, have a seat." he invites me to come closer in a friendly way. He becomes more cheerful and has a smiling face toward me.

They are two physicians inside the room, and the doctor who will examine me is the young and cute one, and behind him is the other doctor who is older than him or maybe in his 35 or 40s, who is talking with the other patient. And there is a nurse beside there. Ate Letlet with his kid accompanied me there too.

I feel like my mind right now is back to normal for what is my priority and purpose for being here. Not being enchanted by anyone else. ''All I want is to be healed and to find the best doctor who can treat even rare or strange illnesses,'' I said in my mind. I was annoyed by that thought. '' I wish the doctor who will examine me is expertise and had a long experience in his medical field. It doesn't matter if he is old and not as handsome as him. For me, he looks novice.'' I wonder how he got into his profession at a young age. I think he was an A+ student before, and he probably skipped a few years from elementary and accelerated to high school.'' I gazed at his face for a moment, and I admit his face was so attractive and made me temper even more'' yeah you are cute but I'm not here to find a destiny''. If I could ask the nurse if they have another available best doctor because I am bothered, I have a rare illness, and I think I will, but I know it is inappropriate, and I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. I prefer to calm myself and kindly listen to him. ''I bet he won't be able to find any finding about my illness'' I said to myself. ''I know I want to be recovered, but if he can't it is not important to me.'' I want to show respect to anyone and still politely listen to his medical diagnosis. Sometimes I feel like him, maybe we are meant for each other, but I try to vibe it and see to my vision, but I don't feel and see that we will be lovers, even though how much I want it.

I looked at him first before getting closer as if I wanted to pull the chair and sit angrily to show that I was not happy as well as not, inspired by his attractiveness. But I can't do that to someone who has done nothing wrong to me. I need to make myself calm always.

I am now in front of him, expecting any moment he would ask some questions about my health problem. Let's see how he speaks. Sometimes in this situation, if the man talks to a woman, one of them feels awkward, which affects the speaking. Especially in our province, we use a dialect that does not have a beautiful accent and is sometimes underestimated. I'm not sure what language or dialect he spoke, and he seems to live in a big city. ''I wonder why he needs to be a doctor, why not to be an engineer or any course. He is more like a model. Maybe his parents motivate him for this course. I said it in my mind.

''How do you feel'' he asked. When hearing his voice, my eyes brightened with surprise. I am amazed by his voice because it sounds so nice and attractive. Even he speaks in our native dialect. Every word is so good and beautiful, passing through my ear.

''Sometimes I have difficulty breathing,'' I said in a good way and low voice.

"Oh..you have difficulties of breathing,'' he said. I find he has a beautiful voice. I think I can live like this, sitting on my chair, he was in front of me and listening to him forever.

''So..How you've..''

He was about to ask more questions, but he cut in. I feel touched to see him searching my name through the pile of forms on his desk.

He prefers to call me by my name. I wonder why he needs it if he can use another description for girls.

''Rose..How long has this been going on?''

My name is Róisín Calla Tiffany Rose Bulicatin-Lekzo. Most people call me Tiff or Tiffany, but he loves to call me Rose after he reads my name on the form. But I wonder why Rose? Does Tiffany's name sound awful? Or maybe he finds me lovely as Rose.

''Two weeks. Sometimes I feel good, and my breathing is back to normal, but at other times it is coming back. Earlier, I am catching my breathing. There are times my Heartbeat fast.'' I spoke.

''Do you have a medical history of heart disease ''

" I don't'' I said to him.

And he asks more questions about

'' Do you have any other symptoms like cough or fever? Do you feel any pain? Rose.''

''I don't have a cough or fever. There is once I have chest pain last week.''

He always calls me rose every time he speaks to me. I felt shy about how he talked to me as if we'd known each other for a long time. When he can't figure out if I have heart disease, he checks my blood pressure levels and other vital signs, but everything is okay.

''I don't see any findings that you have any disease, but I will try to check your eyes," he said.

When I saw his hand about to touch my face, I felt excitement.

I couldn't imagine that such a handsome man would touch my face. Maybe I will feel great pleasure. But his hand was already on my face. It's funny to think that I'm so ignorant that I thought I could feel something different, but I feel nothing.

He tugs and draws down my lower eyelid to check it as if my face will not change. And I am still pretty for him. he slightly bends his body to take closer to look at my eye.

'' It is not pale. I don't see any signs you have an illness, which suggests you are healthy." He said, then his hand let go, and lean back to sit.

But he gives me chances to examine and determine the other causes. I explain well. Sometimes he speaks, and I am bashful looking at his face all the time, so I try to make a glance at him. I found myself impressed. I like his face. He is not too attracted, but he is the true definition of cute. And I am proud if he will become the daddy of my kids and he loves them.

There are many guys I have a crush on, and all of the qualities I like are in him. And if I have a chance to be dated by a famous international actor, I am still not complete and still looking for him.

I always noticed that he has a cheerful mood and a smiling face. Is it his usual mood that looks happy? Maybe he has a boastful attitude, like being overconfident about his charm. I find him a chatter, and I enjoy chatting with him. And has a friendly attitude toward his patient.

I felt shy when I noticed how the doctor was speaking to me, it was not the usual way a physician would speak to a patient. I feel we are in the park, chatting about things not related to my medical consultation. I was bothered that others might observe it. And also, I noticed the other doctor at his desk with no patient staring at me. And I actually turn back to look at the other patients outside the door I was worried that they might have noticed that we don't sound like having a medical check-up. And I am bothered by what they might actually go to think.

When I look at his face it drives me crazy with his charm. A lot of things are going through my mind. His face is attractive and I want to see it every day. When I wake up is the first thing I want to see. Even if, we don't have us, it is okay for me, if we are just only friends. It is okay not to dream too much. just seeing you is enough to feel me great pleasure. I said while imagining myself I was on the edge of a pillar secretly peeking at him. I hope fate will not deprive me not to see him again.

It feels fantastic seeing him. His face is smiling as well as his eyes are sparkling while he is talking to me. His face has similarities to the guy in school that I find attractive. it looks manly and hot.

Until I felt uncomfortable while he is continue speaking to me and I am very detailed about my condition of how long I suffered this and I told him about the other factors. I feel shy when he leans his right leg to my knee, I wonder why he needs to do that.

Why do I need to feel it? I am just here to consult my condition. I feel like it is not normally happening. I don't want to be malicious.

And then I reply to his queries. And I decided to peek under the table. I never expect it. I would get surprised again by how he is hot in wearing jeans. Even though his leg was bigger than my slim legs but they suit for his body size. It is my first time seeing a guy to be hot in wearing a blue jeans maong. And I trying to guess what brand his pant is. He is the hottest guy wearing jeans. But I decided to move away my knee from him. Hoping he would not feel bad about me.

Some thoughts come into my mind I want to get his number but I bother that ate Letlet will scold me. If Ate letlet is not here I will ask for his number. But what if he doesn't want to give his number? I don't want to give him a problem with how he refused me.

'' I don't see any problem with your health. I will give you some of the medical tests and you can back in the afternoon.'' He said. And ate letlet reply to him. "Doc she cant be admitted here?.'' Ate letlet said. The doctor looked up at ate letlet face with a smile. And I turn to ate letlet to look her, I felt shy might the doctor think she prefer me to admit here.

And I saw him walking towards me while staring at me. Seeing him brings me so much joy. But I refused to look at him. It hurts to see someone who won't be mine.

Our semester break is over, and we went back to school. And my boyfriend Mikee came and sat next to me on the bench. And he asks me if we can have a date later. I love my boyfriend with his white skin and Chinese eyes. He is the guy I love right now and my inspiration.